From the Wall Street Journal corrections page:

We know it's a little early in the day to be planning out your evening, but we'd be be shirking our public duty if we didn't point out that you can spend this evening getting hammered on Fairchild Publications' dime. What better way to imbibe than posing as a fine employee of Modern Bride or Jane magazine?

It must be awesome to be former president Clinton. He gets to travel, receives hefty paychecks for reading speeches written by his staff, AND he can bounce back from quadruple bypass surgery in just over a month and speak at the American Magazine Conference in Boca Raton. It must be even awesomer, though, to be an editor or publisher present for this appearance, for which they have to swallow any semblance of journalistic "pride" and let Clinton deliver his speech off the record. God, so much awesomeness all around.
On Stage, Off The Record [NYP]

A special message, in headline form, for the powers that be at NYU, courtesy of the New York Times:

The carnage at Conde Nast's Cargo magazine continues: Sonia Zjawinski, products editor for the pub, just gave notice this morning. According to our count, that's THREE resignations in less than one week. What the fuck is going on over there? Are editor Ariel Foxman's chain-mesh gimp masks that uncomfortable?

The NME article it links to certainly doesn't have the same headline. Pity, we like this one better.
Google News
Waste Management [NME]

The Times unearths a shocking, new, and altogether obvious issue: is the Post pulling punches in their coverage of the Bill O Reilly sexual harassment scandal in order to protect Fox News sacred cow? Both the Post and Fox are Newscorp companies, after all. What the Post does cover regarding the case naturally calles plaintiff Andrea Mackris a "lunatic," among other things. What does Post editor and part-time comedian Col Allen say of his paper's coverage? "It's been pretty fair and balanced." Oh, Col, you punster. We're laughing so hard that, um, our soul just kind of wilted.
Have Papers Taken Sides On O Reilly? [NYT]

As Daily Show anchor Jon Stewart's buzz usurps that of most comedians and political commentators alike, New York magazine wonders what the implications are:

Drudge is reporting that one of Newscorp ruler Rupert Murdoch's sons (which? Don't know. Does it matter?) has died in a car crash on the Santa Monica freeway; reports are unconfirmed at this time. If it's Lachlan, what will become of 11 Spring Street?
Drudge Report
UPDATE: Looks like Drudge had it almost right, but not quite. David Howard Murdock II, son of the chair of Dole Foods, died at 2:30 AM Saturday after driving his Ferrari off the 405.
Son Of Dole Food Chairman Killed In Car Accident [AP]

It's absolutely worth sitting through the ads for a chance to listen to Ann Coulter's panicked gasp when the pies start coming.
Ann Coulter Pie-Throwing Video [ifilm]

Protesters from the group CollegeGOP.org are currently gathered in front of MTV's Santa Monica's offices to protest a Rock the Vote commercial* that they think is slanted against the Bush/Cheney campaign. The problem (or at least one of the problems, depending on your politics) is that Rock the Vote isn't owned by MTV. Readers have sent in this cameraphone pic of the protesters and an MTV internal e-mail about the confused picketers, which is after the jump.

Once they get out of their, um, prison sheets and into some proper clothes, we suppose these pie-wielding heroes will get some sort of medal of honor for their brave custarding of Ann Coulter.
Ann Coulter's Pie Assailants [TSG]

Phase 2 of New York magazine's much whispered-about redesign launches on Monday, presenting us with "The Culture Pages," which are designed to help us learn to do things in New York besides drink. Regular features will include the cryptically-titled Pre-Show Show, Backstory, Arc, Blastback, Triptick and Pipeline. So many flashy words, so little understanding! The intricately detailed memo explaining Adam Moss' plan for the continued gay-ification of his magazine after the jump.

When two men rushed the stage and pelted conservative devil-pundit Ann Coulter with custard pies during her speech last night at the University of Arizona, do you think she was more pissed about ruining her Talbots ensemble or the physical contact with excess calories?
Men Nail Conservative Ann Coulter With Pies [AP]

The Bill O'Reilly scandal may not be getting any more nauseating than the falafel issue, but it certainly continues to grow increasingly bizarre in its resolution. According to sources close to the O'Reilly legal team, plaintiff Andrea Mackris is ready to settle — but how does her lawyer go about announcing this to O'Reilly's people? By having Court TV anchor Lisa Bloom mention it (off-camera, unfortunately) to Bo Dietl, the private investigator who's been gathering info on Mackris for O'Reilly's defense. Like there's any other way to handle this sort of thing.
O'Reilly Accuser Ready To Settle? [NYDN]
Related: Page Six reports that Mackris is $99k in debt, but who isn't? [Page Six]

Things have been relatively quiet within the comely offices of Conde Nast's Cargo magazine; we were beginning to wonder if EIC Ariel Foxman had flogged his staff into quiet submission. Thankfully, a reader has broken free from the shackles of silence to report two staffing changes: fashion writer Mike Albo has fled the building and reportedly takes Foxman's assistant (Abigail Weintraub?). More significantly, we hear this is the second assistant to quit under Foxman in three months. What gives? Is working with the pretty men of Cargo a decidedly unpretty experience? Please advise.

Finally, FINALLY Tina Brown has gotten her Topic A website up and running (can't you imagine the long nights she spent tweaking CSS crap all by herself? The poor dear)! In her T-Mail section—get it?—Tina treats us to some of the best her fans have to offer:

We've received some disturbing news from a tipster, who reports that bathroom conditions at the AP's offices are hardly up to snuff. Allegedly, there is only one bathroom for the entire 14th floor and, to make matters worse, this lone bathroom requires a key card for entry. In the interest of being couth, we'll say that this system sounds "inconvenient" at best. Could this bowel-cringing news possibly be true? If so, it's a tad inhumane, as we imagine AP staffers must be shitting themselves rather frequently.

Times columnist Frank Rich makes us feel a little, well, patriotic:

We don't know how you like to spend your five-month prison sentences, but us? We like to make freshly made jams and jellies, just like our idol, Martha Stewart. Martha has reportedly been spotted picking crab apples on the grounds of her Alderson, West Virginia prison camp, all for the preparation of some homemade jam. We're not sure she can actually get away with this elaborate and illegal plan, however, as her published recipe for Crabapple Rosemary Jelly requires one to use three layers of cheesecloth as a strainer, and scoring cheesecloth in the prison trade system is no small feat.
Hard-'Core' Martha [NYP]