Our sources inside the cold halls of CBS News have informed us that veteran anchor Dan Rather will be stepping down from his post come March. Look for the official announcement very shortly.
[UPDATE: 12:20 PM, Done and done. CBS News president Andrew Heyward's announcement, which doesn't say anything about memos, after the jump.]
Film Threat knows that other magazine's "hot" and "power" lists are an exercise in futility, as one year's Most Powerful Man in Hollywood is the next's high profile defendant, and fleetingly omnipotent studio are forced to cut back employee's vacation time to make ends meet. It's arguably far more relevant to examine the lower reaches of the power thermometer, so Film Threat lists this year's "Frigid 50," the Hollywood players whose careers seem to have a caught walking pneumonia. Congratulations to old pals Michael Moore (No. 1), Michael Eisner (3), Paris Hilton (9), and Ben Affleck (10), who've all managed to crack the top ten. If things break right for them, they might manage to get hotter than Colin Farrell's infamous penis (17).
We have a confession to make. Gawker HQ's televisions are often tuned to, um, real news. Yeah, even we have to turn off E! here and there and get some loving from CNN. So you can only imagine how hot we felt when the gang at American Morning read the following excerpt from a viewer letter:
A Gawker manservant sends this delightfully obscure camera phone picture of novelist Tom Wolfe (indicated by "white suit"), taken at JFK airport last night:
Is there anything that makes you feel better about yourself moreso than tales of suffering on a Sunday morning? Doubt it. That's why we cherish the Lives section of the Times, in which the misery of others makes our existence seem a bit more tolerable. Mediabistro enlists a Citizen Media Critic to ruminate on the matter:
For this week's edition of the singlemost important cheatsheet you'll ever need, Intern Alexis plunged into the grody world of poetry reviews—and consequently went insane. Slipping in and out of delerious fits of haiku, Alexis had to finish her review of the New York Times Book Review from a nice white room at Bellevue. We're running this week's edition as her cry for help.
· Retiring Times writer William Safire wants to be remembered as a reporter (despite the fact that he's a columnist), so Salon takes him down, one inaccuracy at a time. [Salon]
· Playboy VP James Kaminsky moves to Rolling Stone as deputy editor; expect lots more porny Lohan covers. [Mediaweek]
· NBC anchor Brian Williams: not a publicity whore. Just, um, speaking at every engagement that comes his way. [Lowdown (last item)]
· Breaking! Bloggers may have had a political impact! But don't "flog" them, says Richard Morin. [WaPo]
· In Style's December issue clocks in at 624 pages, making it almost Vogue-worthy. [NYP]
The problem with satire, you see, is that the attack has to be blatantly ironic. It's a tricky form to master with often mixed results. Take New York's latest attempt, clearly identified as a piece of ridicule:
Henry the Intern can barely sit still during Topic A under normal circumstances; imagine the emotion our poor slave had to endure last night upon learning that he was watching Tina's gabfest on her birthday. And what better way for Tina to celebrate her big day (28 years young!) than with the glowing teeth of Viacom head Les Moonves? After the jump, Henry reviews Tina's painful hour as succinctly as possible.
Goody goody, the time has finally come: Next Wednesday, CBS' newsmagazine 60 Minutes is airing its much-whispered about piece on Star editor Bonnie Fuller. We've already set our Tivos and suggest you do the same. Below (and after the evil jump), the CBS press release for the episode, which reveals that Bonnie was the nerd in high school (not that we're surprised) and her love of schadenfreude is only conducted with the best intentions. Coverage of Bonnie's whips and rusty rack methods forthcoming.
· Paraphrasing NBC News' Brian Williams at Esquire's Brightest and Best party: "Thank you to Esquire and be sure to try the crystal meth."
· White men still most likely to succeed at the Washington Post. At least everyone's being honest about it. [WaPo]
· The incredibly shrinking Newsday, still trying to thin itself down as much as possible, begins offering voluntary buyouts to staffers. [NYP]
· God, November got boring quick. Let's spice it up with something completely out of left field. How about Brokaw for President? [Indy Star]
· Finally, we agree with mainstream journos: kick everyone while they're down. [National Journal]
This might be the most important thing we ever address here at Gawker, so let us get to the point: in an industry that thrives on the belligerence of its best writers, it's come to our attention that reporters at the venerable Wall Street Journal are—get this—not drinking. Says WSJ writer Ken Wells:
Hey, look who's back? It's Razor magazine editor and wannabe talking head Richard Botto! Botto is a little bored with editing his magazine (plus, editing is hard, right?), it would seem, as his publicist slaves are now pimping him out as the talking head du jour, worthy of speaking on MSNBC regarding "basically any topic you may need a commentator of some kind." Hmm. Well, we don't want to use phrases like "desperate attempt to boost visibility" this early in the morning, so we'll let the pathetic PR pitch speak for itself.
Yet another dose of the conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh's opinion on our patron ex-pat saint Tina Brown:
· Columnist Frank Rich: "In this diet of 'news' championed by the right, there's no need for actual reporters who gather facts firsthand by leaving their laptops and broadcast booths behind and risking their lives to bear witness to what is actually happening..." [NYT]
· Leroy Sievers, the Co-EP for ABC's Nightline, is negotiating an exit deal. Could this be the beginning of the end for Koppel's pirate ship? [WSJ]
· It's amazing what Jack Shafer can do with Lexis-Nexis: he accounts an anonymous, vague, or unattributed reference in a recent Times piece once every 63.6 words. [Slate]
· People magazine names Jude Law its Sexiest Man Alive; Star Jones goes unnoticed. [Low Culture]
· Ex-Today show producer Steve Freidman is being tapped to retool CNBC—dear God, please let him spare our Tina! [NYDN]
Dude, there was a roast honoring Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger, Jr. (at the fabulous Center for Communication's Annual Award Luncheon) and WE WEREN'T INVITED. From what we can tell, we would've had a lot more fun with the opportunity than Times columnist Maureen Dowd, who revealed that she doesn't "like anyone touching or feeling [her]," (shock) or New York editor Adam Moss, who called Sulzberg's 10-year plan "faith based." Oh, har har. Major props to investment banker Steve Rattner, who used a stuffed moose puppet to deliver his roast. How very triumphant.
Sulzberger Roasted By Friends, Stuffed Animal [E&P]
