Cond Nasties, prepare for some earth-shattering changes in your bazillion dollar cafeteria! After years of subjecting yourself to icky burger buns (assuming you even eat carbs—but we're guessing you don't) and non-organic eggs, the cafeteria has heard your cries for help. 2005 is a year of big changes:
God. We hate to do this, but there seems to be a problem with our local tabloids. For some reason, they've gone thinking they're family papers and, as such, have failed to include the sort of sporty snatch photos that most tabloid readers are looking for. While both the Post and Daily News included snapshots of tennis ho Anna Kournikova frolicking about St. Barts in her precious yellow bikini, they managed to NOT print the photos of Anna inspecting her ladyflower. Huh? Wha? Suddenly Col Allen goes highbrow? We're so confused.
In times of crisis, you learn a lot about a person:
Can someone please cast this woman in their next production?
Christmas simply never ends around here: I just received a phone call from Amanda Tree, the mysterious New York dog-walker who showed up twice in the New York Times. Amanda was more than eager to assert her existence and, after I said that I was sure she was a real person and that Gawker was just having a little fun with the situation, she proceeded to tell me a lot of things. Like her life story. Gee, thanks Amanda! The highlights:
Why is this man semi-smiling? We hear Condé Nast Editorial Director James Truman has resigned. Can this be true? Or did we mishear and he's merely "out at lunch"?
You're smart. A real mover and shaker. Breaking the glass ceiling. Oh yeah. So why be an unpaid intern when you can be an unpaid editorial assistant? The Ed2010 newsletter reports on a rare opportunity to be tied down and beaten at CosmoGIRL in the name of professional ladder-climbing:
Now that we've got your attention, let us redirect it to the Daily News' star columnist Lenore Skenazy. Skenazy (whose unfortunate surname has us frantically searching for a joke involving either "skeezy" or "nasty") is hot on the trail of "a huge new movement with worldwide ramifications," and she's not talking about Southeast Asian sea levels. Rather, Skenazy is alerting the world to another epic crisis involving women wearing curlers out IN BROAD DAYLIGHT! So many Desperate Housewives references to be made! From coast to coast, there have been multiple sightings of women leaving the confines of the kitchen and appearing unkempt and be-rollered in public. Is it shameful? Does it redefine our notions of femininity? Or does it just make you think of grandma? And why does this constitute as an acceptable column? So many questions, but we'll have to wait for Skenzy's Sunday column for more answers. We're literally choking on our own anticipation.
A New Tease For Desperate Housewives [NYDN]
According to USA Today, "Jennifer Garner is 'very sick' with a viral infection."
