Sometimes we get so confused. That's because we have limited critical faculties and we believe everything we read. For instance, today we read in Liz Smith's column that:

Think working at TIME is the ultimate cush gig? Not so. We've heard whispers about editors and writers losing one of the few perks America's leading dentist's office newsmagazine provides them: their couches.

· Times' Hollywood reporter, author, and nice Jewish girl Sharon Waxman is profiled by The Forward. [Forward]

Gather round, children! It's time for us to open the magical Anna Wintour biography Front Row to a random page and pick a passage of note. Today, from page 83:

We're not sure if this is an actual article from The Guardian, or an out-take from The Onion: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who'll be fattest of them all?

Thanks to a stunning (and slightly stomach-turning) expos on hipster tastemakers like DJ Leigh Lezark (at right) and the PR people who love them, we get to meet 36-year old Tommy Saleh, a self-annointed "tastemaker" who makes Jonathan Cheban look like a kitten:

Frank Rich looks at the post-Superbowl XXXVIII career of Janet Jackson's breast in his Times 'Arts & Leisure' column this weekend. According to Rich, it's been one busy mammary gland:

From The Drudge Report comes this emergency bulletin:

But man, we sure wish we did.
Time Online

"Do male nipples prove evolution?"

Always one to stoke the flames of controversy (or light them to begin with), The Post has an item on the breaking scandal involving... groundhogs. Gersh Kuntzman has the skinny on what might prove to be the groundhog weather predicting industry's Watergate: GROUNDHOG FRAY: FORECASTS DIFFER.

In today's 'The Reliable Source,' The Washington Post's Richard Leiby sifts through the lawsuit filed against New York Times' reporter Jennifer 8. Lee by her former landlady in Washington, D.C., telling us:

· Vanity Fair's annual Hollywood issue hits the streets next Monday and, for some odd reason, the cover will feature pretty puppet Sienna Miller will holding court with real, live actresses. Lest you think Annie Leibovitz has lost her mind, Sienna appears on the cover's "sorry third fold - the 'who the hell are they?' section." [The Guardian]
· The Aniston effect takes its toll on Paris and Lohan. [via]
· From taking 3 years to 3 months to, like, 3 days, the C train is up and running. [Gothamist]
· We're going to end this on a sincere note alert you to an Emerson College scholarship fund being set up by the family of recent LES murder victim Nicole DuFresne. You can donate online by selecting DuFresne from the form's fund account designation. [Emerson Online Donation Form]

· Bernie Weinraub was in Hollywood so long, the indigenous art of lifting and remixing other people's work seems to have rubbed off on him. Tom Scocca compares Weinraub's recent farewell feature to Russell Baker's from 1998. [NYO, 2nd item]

Those conservative watchdog groups are always three steps ahead of the pulse.
Group Says MTV Sells Sex To Youths [Washington Times]

Front Row, the unauthorized biography of Anna Wintour, has been on the stands for 24 whole hours but, inexplicably, the world is still turning. In an effort to convey the gravity of this tome, we're going to begin a daily feature in which we randomly open the book and print the best passage from wherever we land—because, seriously, there's something absurd on every single page. Today, we closed our eyes and landed on page 15:

It's been far too long since we talked about media bathrooms, don't you think? A reader reminds us of where to find the real news:

In today's Post, Keith Kelly reports on some high profile hirings at Maer Roshan's Radar. Of course, you probably know about these hirings, since you're probably on the list.

Our dorky sister site (which is currently being helmed by this site's former editor), points us towards a Drudge Report item that purports to prove that the GI kidnapped in Iraq is a doll.

· By pointing out that "black history month" is not mentioned once in today's Times, we've automatically one-upped the Gray Lady, as this is our first mention. [NYT Search]
· "Could there be a more perfect encapsulation of the decline of American magazines than this gallery of all 857 Esquire covers since 1933?" [panopticist]
· A Goldman Sachs exec, offended by a men.style.com billboard boasting, "There s more online than news, sports and porn," demanded that the ad outside the firm's Broad Street offices be removed. And so it was, because we know that GS men can't have their pure minds sullied by anything other than dirty money. [WWD]
· Somehow, Voice columnist Michael Musto finds reason to like 90's-themed club Nerveana. Then again, if there's anyone to crown this back-alley nightlife project as worthwhile, it'd be Musto. [VV]