Oh, the poor little souls at the New York Sun. Not only have we learned that they want to dispose of lots of highly-paid staffers and that their email security system is so infantile that a fetus could hack its way in, but now comes word that the Sun's DC bureau (who knew there was one?!) has had all of its computers stolen. If their track record gets any worse, they might have to grab some Elmer's and rewind to a paste-up publication.

You know, if anyone could aim a pie at literally the biggest head in the room and still miss, it'd be someone from the Radar team. Case in point: At tonight's Greatest American Launch Party For The Best First Issue Of Radar Ever, publicity guru Nadine Johnson fetched Gawker publisher Nick Denton to have a word with the Roshan of Honor. As Nick and Maer leaned in for the showy "no hard feelings" talk, one of Johnson's lackeys sent a pie flying at Denton's head. The throw was a dud, however, merely grazing the blog queen's hair. Denton's response? Pouring his glass of wine on Roshan's head. GAY FIGHT!!! (Sadly, no one ended up in the pool, so we suppose it was only a marginally gay fight.)

Yesterday, we mentioned that CNN s Anderson Cooper was selling his West 38th St. apartment for $2.2 million. (We even helped Coop find a new, disturbed, roommate.) In the intervening 24 hours, the value of that same apartment has dropped $305,000. Hunh. Is Anderson the first victim of the city's overheated real estate market? Perhaps. Or, as we originally suspected, the apartment's "stereophonic sound" really blows. -KEW

Let's deal another Radar Trading Card to celebrate Radar Day in New York. (As you might imagine, it's our favorite holiday.) Today's installment features Christopher Tennant, the mag's senior editor and perhaps the most flamingly metrosexual man you'll ever meet. Tennant followed the well-worn New York-to-Talk-to-Radar path of a dedicated Roshanian. Since then, best we can tell, he's spent his between-Radar time as Maer's wingman/walker/sidekick, accompanying the boss to all manner of shindigs and wingdings. Assuming you're lucky enough to be at tonight's (re)launch galaand, really, whatever could the mailman have done with our invitation?be sure to spend some time with young Tennant: If a certain legendary New York Christmas party is any guide, we're sure he'll make it a memorable night.

Well folks, it's finally arrived. The official press release for tonight's first(er, second) Radar Launch Party. Alleged guests include Fabian Basabe, Tina Brown, and Kurt Andersen. (Some guy named Maer is supposed to show as well.)

· A new book argues that too much Internets and TV stifles emotional maturity. Immature punchline TK. [WaPo via I Want Media]
· CBS looks to fill the void left by Everybody Loves Raymond, adding three humorous sitcoms and five dramas . Void, btw, is a euphemism for brain. [NYT]
· The void expands, vacuously sucking up Wednesday night. CBS cancels 60 Minutes II. [Reuters]
· Oh yeah, did we mention there's only 5 hours left to get ready for the Radar Launch Parties? [Gawker, obviously] -KEW

Shift Memo: In Brief [Sploid]

A few weeks back, we reported on a fire at Bauer magazines' Englewood Cliffs headquarters, which resulted in the evacuation of In Touch Weekly's listless staff. As it turns out, the real story is that of Ms. Life & Style Editor, who was so desperate to escape the flames (which, as it turns out, were not actually coming from anywhere in the building) and get down the crowded stairway that she actually PUSHED her minions — including a pregnant woman — out of her way. We can't condone pushing your own staffers to save yourself, but we bet that pregnant lady was moving all slow and fat-like.

Tragedy! Until now, we ve marveled at Mad-Lad Blogger Greg Gutfeld s impeccably unique worldview. But leave it to some dude at the Poynter Institute to ruin our day. The claim: Gutfeld ripped off his David Gergen references from Dave Egger s literary magazine, McSweeney s. FishbowlNY investigated, publishing the email exchange with Gutfeld in full:

We were totally fooled by the image: $6,000 suits, $192 Hermes ties, pocketfuls of vibrating Blackberries. Turns out, investment bankers have feelings, too. According to AdAge's Jon Fine, Morgan Stanley is going to start pulling ads if negative stories about the bank are published. (Negative stories? How could anyone say anything bad about Morgan Stanley?)A few of the rags that may be hit: the NYT, USA Today, Business Week and Fortune. After this item, we hope Gawker Media is simultaneously added/dropped from the list. -KEW

Self-hating power-Jew paranoia runs deep, and now it's leading us to the Prime Grill — where, according to the Observer, the real power brokers are doing lunch. Forget the Grill Room and Michael's; it seems that everyone from Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon to General Wesley Clark is wheeling and dealing over the steak and (gefilte?) sushi. But it's not easy being kosher, and the Prime Grill struggled (as is necessary!) for years prior to its current success:

Over the past few days, the Huffington Post has finally gotten itself together and done the right thing by giving Maxim UK editor Greg Gutfeld his own page, aptly-titled The Gutfeld Drive-Bys. In his latest entry, Gutfeld responds to a post from the "pudgy and pliable" Norman Mailer:

What, no Boba Fett?

One of the drawbacks of going on a meth-fueled Radar binge is that we've hardly had a spare moment to comment on the Times' haute new TimesSelect, which will hide OpEd columnists like Thomas Friedman and MoDo behind a $49.95 wall. Times SVP of Digital Whatever Martin Nisenholtz defended and explained that the new fees were necessary for the Gray Lady's ultimate plan, which involves — you guessed it — bloggers (cue dramatic music):

Just to be clear: our Radar saturation coverage is focused on Maer Roshan's New York-based magazine, not its sister publication in Sweden. So the next time you feel the urge to email us asking "why are you daft twats wasting your worthless imaginations posting about Radar," remember that we're doing it as a public service. We don't want our readers to be confused. -KEW

In the wee hours of the morning, we asked for your help to find Anderson Cooper a new home. And help you did give, with (mostly male) readers offering up rooms in their very own apartments! So very kind. The winner: London Terrace and the surrounding Chelsea environs. But since that s too easy—and real estate brokers you ain t—we award the no-fee prize to Paul H., who writes:

·Time Warner honcho Richard Parsons thinks about spinning off AOL as a separate stock because it sucks. Uh, we mean, because it's part of his "portal" strategy. [CNN]

Our countdown begins for tomorrow s official Radar Launch Party, the "unofficial" Radar Launch After Party and the Radar After-After-Party in the private room behind the VIP room reserved for the After-Party. We're also gearing up for the super-secret Friday night Radar Launch Party (so secret, it may not even exist.)

No, this week's edition of New York magazine's Look Book has not been brought to you by the Brooklyn Council For Adult Undergarments. It has, however, been brought to you by the Hipster Association For The Advancement Of Lisa Jo, an artist who's hunting for a new place in Greenpoint. Now, now, you totally want to make fun of Lisa but, the truth is, she knows damn well that her waist and navel are the same thing — and you have to respect her for that clarity. After the jump, Intern Alexis rounds up panelists Guy Cimbalo, Jessica Grose, and Matthew Schneider play Dress Me Up L-Jo.

We ve always known there s little difference between the Fox News Channel and the Cartoon Network, but now we finally have conclusive proof. Multichannel News announced today that Bill O Reilly deserved to be member of cable's Sweet Sixteen, taking his place alongside Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Battlestar Galactica. SpongeBob SquarePants also made the list — a coup which, considering SpongeBob's "affiliations," greatly pissed off Hannity and Colmes. -KEW