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A few weeks back, we reported on a fire at Bauer magazines' Englewood Cliffs headquarters, which resulted in the evacuation of In Touch Weekly's listless staff. As it turns out, the real story is that of Ms. Life & Style Editor, who was so desperate to escape the flames (which, as it turns out, were not actually coming from anywhere in the building) and get down the crowded stairway that she actually PUSHED her minions — including a pregnant woman — out of her way. We can't condone pushing your own staffers to save yourself, but we bet that pregnant lady was moving all slow and fat-like.

As if confirming your suspicion that your superior doesn't give a shit about whether you live or die isn't enough, Ms. Editor later spoke to the staff to assure them that everything was okay. She also noted that she was appalled by the behavior of some colleagues during the emergency evacuation, saying, "I actually saw one person SHOVING their coworkers out of the way!" Oh, the horror.

It should be noted that, by all accounts, Ms. Editor was the only one doing any sort of shoving. But we have to appreciate such creative mastery of the third person — and you thought the Life & Style staff lacked literary talent.

Earlier: The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Is On Fire [Gawker]