In your soothing Wednesday media column: the Boston Globe has a sense of humor, Jon Friedman turns 10, the Weekly Standard's getting dumped, Steve Doocy's kid finds a job, and crazy people want to start a new newspaper.

It's spreading. Earlier this month, Vogue was infected with the deadly Mexican Pig Flu. Did you imagine that they could contain it? They could not.

• It's only been a week since Conan took over the top-rated Tonight Show, but David Letterman has already passed over him in the ratings. [NYT]
• Also: Dave Letterman's new contract will keep him at CBS through '12. [LAT]
• Yesterday the Boston Globe's largest union rejected the New York Times Co.'s proposed package of cuts. The NYT responded by implementing a 23 percent pay cut anyway and now the union is taking the matter to court. [NYT]
• Ratings are down for CNN's Lou Dobbs. And thank God for that. [NYO]
• It's official: Ari Emanuel is the new Mike Ovitz! Both the New York Times and The Daily Beast invoke Ovitz's name in lengthy pieces on "the pre-eminent power player in Hollywood" and "Hollywood's new don." [NYT, TDB]
• Sound the alarms! Swine flu has returned to Condé Nast! [Daily Intel]

Vanity Fair was kind enough to put together an "all-access" guide to summer in New York City, a document the magazine handed out to its advertisers recently as a token of Graydon Carter's affection. The PDF, which you can download here, is full of advice on places to eat and drink, summer concerts to attend, and even songs to download to your iPod before hitting the beach. But don't let the words "all-access" fool you. While Carter's Monkey Bar makes the list (naturally!), advertisers who just dropped a six-figure sum buying glossy ads in the mag should not automatically assume they're entitled to a reservation at Carter's celeb hangout. That's clearly not the case, as editor Jessica Latham makes clear. [VF All-Access Guide, PDF download]

In your torrential Tuesday media column: No rock-breaking for Current reporters, a new job for Jesse Oxfeld, more Observer layoff victims, ad spending plunges (more), and one more unnecessary Obama book TK:

• The Boston Newspaper Guild, the Boston Globe's largest union, narrowly rejected a package of pay concessions and benefit cuts last night. [NYT]
• David Letterman is close to signing a new, 3-year contract with CBS. [THR]
• Conan O'Brien has beat Letterman in the ratings every night since his show debuted last week. But that may very well change pretty soon. [Vulture]
• Rachael Ray's talk show has been renewed for two more seasons. Alas. [THR]
• Glenn O'Brien is out as Interview's editorial director. [Daily Intel, FWD]

It doesn't take a particularly creative publishing executive to imagine a big opportunity in the new iPhone software Apple showed off today.

In your shiny Monday media column: Spy magazine lives, David Carr survives, Dan Abrams hires, Dana Milbank thrives, and Fleur Cowles dies:

This week, Stephen Colbert is bringing laughter and joy to a devastated quagmire of misery and destruction: Newsweek. Oh, and Iraq.

• Heidi Klum can now add "magazine editor" to her resume. She assembled a 140-page spread for German Vogue called "Heidi by Vogue." [NYDN]
• Stephen Colbert will be broadcasting from Baghdad next week. [AP]
• Silvio Berlusconi is vowing to sue the Spanish newspaper El Pais for publishing pics of topless women and a naked man at his vacation home. [AFP]
• Were you aware Conan O'Brien debuted this week? Hard to miss, huh? [NYT]
• Bonnier Corp. paid $3-5 million to purchase five magazines from Hachette, including Popular Photography, Flying, and American Photo. [NYP]

In your all wet Friday media column: Hachette figures out how to get money, ABC figures out how to save money, the NYT Co. vows not to lose money, and a website that will not make money:

On Tuesday we told you that OK! editor Jason Oliver Nixon and publisher Lori Burgess were likely to be fired within the next two weeks. Well, one of them was fired last night! Can you guess who it was?

What could Time magazine possibly have to say about Twitter that hasn't been said in a thousand prior magazine and newspaper articles, and on Oprah? That it drives the American economy. In fact, Twitter is the new GM!

In your woozy Wednesday media column: multiple music magazines die, the Boston Globe thinks it's too tough to kill, Harvard newsies can't find jobs, Surface magazine gets a cheaper office, and a report from the newspaper conspiracy meeting:

• Stephen Colbert will be Newsweek's guest editor next week. [NYO]
• Conan O'Brien's second Tonight Show dropped 30 percent from Monday's record-setting premiere, although that was probably to be expected. [THR]
• For the third straight month, MSNBC bested CNN in the cable news ratings. Fox News remained in first place, as usual. [Daily Finance]
• More bad news for CNN: Campbell Brown returned from maternity leave this week and immediately returned to fourth-place in the ratings. [THR]
• A new Harvard Business Review study reveals that 10 percent of Twitter users account for more than 90 percent of Twitter messages sent. [AdAge]
• Jon & Kate Plus 8 is still generating obscene ratings, sadly. [AP]

Newsweek has enlisted Stephen Colbert as a guest editor in a desperate attempt for "buzz." It's totally working! Because we have obtained, via a publicist, via Newsweek's marketing team, a direct (outrageous!) quote from Colbert about his upcoming fake editorialism:

In a move that sort of reeks of desperation more than it does slick PR, Newsweek's Jon Meacham announced that Stephen Colbert will be the magazine's guest editor for the issue hitting newsstands on June 8.

Consulting editor Jason Oliver Nixon may yet bring civility to the man-eat-man hellscape that OK! magazine seems to have become. Nixon, who we're told is still running the show, is to be joined by editorial consultant Mark Pasetsky, the former Life & Style honcho who now operates CoverAwards.com.

From Steve Fishman's chat with Vanity Fair editor-in-chief (and restaurateur) Graydon Carter in this week's issue of New York:

• Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show debuted last night. The reviews were mixed, although he did very well in the ratings, not surprisingly. [Variety, THR]
• Playboy Enterprises named Scott Flanders as its CEO yesterday. [NYP]
• Lawyers for author J.D. Salinger have filed suit against an author who is publishing a book billed as a sequel to The Catcher in the Rye. [NYT]
• Five magazines—Popular Photography, Flying, Boating, Sound & Vision and American Photo—have been sold to Bonnier Corp. by Hachette. [Crain's]
• Paris Hilton and producer Michael Hirschorn have teamed up to bring a version of Paris Hilton's My New BFF to Dubai. Yes, Dubai. No joke. [Variety]