It's been a while since we caught up with the sinking ship of suck that is OK! magazine. Last we checked in, people were being fired over a silly catfight, rhetorical venom was flowing like wine, and they all drowned their sorrows in margaritas after. Now big heads will roll.

In your merry Monday media column: Hearst Magazines is not dying quite so quickly as others (news!), the New York Times wants more of your money, a thing happens at 'Morning Joe,' Sun-Times people invite Bill Rancic to suck it, and more:

• Conan O'Brien makes his debut this evening as Tonight Show host. [BN, EW]
• Bravo is ditching its tagline "Watch what happens" and replacing it with "By Bravo." We'll just have to watch and see what happens with that. [AdAge]
• More on the recent ratings meltdown at CNN. [Politico]
• The Times Magazine will be 9 percent smaller starting in two weeks. [E&P]
• DirectTV chief Chase Carey is in talks to join News Corp. as Rupert Murdoch's second-in command, taking over for Peter Chernin. [THR, BN]
• Disney's animated pic Up was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [THR]
• New York's cover story on Condé Nast, in case you missed it. [NYM]

Conde Nast's fanciest magazine is infected with the dreaded Mexican Pig Influenza! Right where Anna Wintour works! Remain calm.

Conde Nast has always been able to afford the luxury of publishing money-losing magazines, thanks the other half of their parent company—the Newhouse newspaper chain—subsidizing them with cash. Those days are gone. Now, a cable company is all that keeps Conde afloat. And the Newhouse family's getting antsy:

In your flammin' Friday media column: Lola Ogunnaike's out of a job, the LAT's web editor's into a job, a WSJ writer brings da ruckus, and the secret newspaper meeting was not a secret we swear so don't ask any more about it or else:

Ha, noted radical political journal Sports Illustrated is running these ads in South Africa insinuating that SI is very, you know, radical, and political. A big black panther for the '68 Olympics, Fight the Power! How did SI really cover that story? We will show you!

In your misty Thursday media column: no bunnies for Richard Branson, no viewers for NBC, a shot at enlightenment for America's dumb children, and—finally—a classy new porn mag:

Vice Magazine is trying to be the coolest magazine in the world and, simultaneously, the biggest bunch of sellouts ever to walk the streets of Williamsburg, in an effort to see if it's actually possible to bend over backwards far enough to give a blowjob to oneself.

In your woebegone Wednesday media column: Richard Branson's allegedly stalking Playboy, dead mag foto fun, more ominous signs on the NYT's Social Media Editor, and gag outsourcing is the new "let's hope it doesn't turn into real outsourcing":

• Rumor has it Richard Branson may be interested in buying Playboy. [ChiTrib]
• Two Boston Globe unions have agreed to concessions with the NYT Co. [E&P]
• Why did the Times pick Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim to invest in the paper instead of David Geffen? It seems publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. was "worried about Geffen's ambition to take over the company." [AllThingsD]
• Mayor Bloomberg plans to introduce legislation in Albany to extend the city's popular—but broke—film/TV tax credit program. [THR]
• Tom McGeveran has been named interim editor of the New York Observer. He'll take over for Peter Kaplan, whose last day will be this Friday. [NYO]

In your suddenly Tuesday media column: Conde Nast moves its B-team, Larry Hackett despises humanity, and print is dead, along with baseball and apple pie and puppies:

• How is Twitter going to make money? With a reality TV series, naturally. The show will involve "putting ordinary people on the trail of celebrities in a revolutionary competitive format," in case you were wondering. [Variety]
• The primetime lineups for next year "are chockablock with shows meant to make recession-weary viewers laugh and feel better." How encouraging! [NYT]
• Ratings are down for CNN's Anderson Cooper as well as for Roland Martin, who has been subbing for Campbell Brown recently. [Page Six]
• Bravo's next Real Housewives installment: Washington, DC. [Daily Intel]
• Fox News nut Greta Van Susteren may not be around for long. Rumor has it her contract won't be be renewed and Megyn Kelly will replace her. [NYT]
• New York lost close to $5 million last year; with ad pages down 37 percent thus far in 2009, "losses are expected to be even higher this year." [NYP]
• A Russian investment firm has dropped $200 million into Facebook's bank account in return for a 1.96 percent stake in the company. [NYT]
• Ben Stiller's Night at the Museum sequel beat out the fourth installment of the Terminator franchise with a four-day pull of $70 million. [Reuters]

• Want to buy Playboy? Mail a check for $300 million to Hugh Hefner. [NYP]
• A look at the "highlights, lowlights and sidelights" from upfront week. [NYT]
• The Cannes Film Festival didn't stir up as much buzz as in years past, although industry types are hoping/praying that the worst is over. [WSJ]
• Tyra Banks will have 12 hours of airtime a week on the CW this fall; if she "gets hit by a car this year, the CW will have to go out of business." [NYP]
• Bruce will be the last act at Giants Stadium before it's demolished. [AP]
• T+L's new pro-travel ad campaign suggests people "please go away." [WWD]
• Vintage Books is promoting Netherland with a blurb by Barack Obama. [NYO]
• Jon Peters' tell-all about Hollywood sure sounds interesting! [DHD]

In your practically-weekend Friday media column: Playboy could be yours, Michael Kinsley wants to fight newsweeklies, a new type of journalism that will fail, and the police department will run your local paper OR ELSE:

Working for Bonnie Fuller, who created the glossy gossip age at Us Weekly, was always a challenge. But since she was fired from her job at Star-publisher American Media last year, the only place she's had to aim her mercurial celebrity theories is her Twitter followers.

In your bad-itudinal Thursday media column: Seymour Hersh hates newspapers, Paste Magazine makes bank, journalists deserve to be paid a mere pittance, and MissBehave's final goodbye email to staffers, which is not a very good one:

• American Idol's finale scored its lowest ratings ever for the 18-49 demo. Not that there's a chance Ryan Seacrest will be disappearing anytime soon. [THR]
• The CW has unveiled its fall lineup. As expected, the Gossip Girl spin-off isn't happening. A social media-centric ad campaign, however, is. [Variety, NYT]
• New York magazine is raising subscription rates. [Folio]
• Google is reorganizing its ad sales team and cutting a few jobs. [WSJ]
• Thanks to the $75K speaking fee Tom Friedman accepted (and returned), Times staffers have been reminded about the paper's ethics guidelines. [LAT]
• Paste Magazine hopes to survive by asking readers for donations. [Gawker]
• Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich wasn't permitted to appear on NBC's I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!, so his wife will do it instead. [THR]

Cool-girl mag MissBehave went online-only early this year, and now it sounds like the people who run the place are totally closing up shop, kaput, blammo, totally erased from the face of the earth, blog and all. If you know more on this, email us. [Blogue. UPDATE: Yes, it's dead.]

In your warming Wednesday media column: Steve Forbes is in your pocket, insulting your bosses in your competitor's paper may damage your career, somebody fucking finally does not write an Obama book, and much more!: