It takes the gang at Wired — which, full disclosure, I still write for and have a soft spot for, even if I'm fired again after this post — a couple of months to ship one of their Wired / Tired / Expired lists. This leads to missed comic timing. With Web 2.0 Summit buzz still circling, "Tired: Facebook apps" in the new issue feels either too early, or a week late. No such problem here. We whipped off our own list in six minutes this morning. (Note to unfunny tech workers: Calling Chris Anderson's magazine "Tired" is so totally over. Valleywaggers prefer "The Long Fail.")

A sampling of things that are sexy, according to an unscientific poll of randomly selected famous people: men; women, in "a different kind of way"; good skin; Paul Newman; little moments alone; naked men carrying leopards down Melrose; the small of Rebecca Gayheart's back. (Note: we may or may not have added one of our own.) [Instyle.com/CNN]

Can you help us finalize this very imperfect list?

Microsoft's Web portal runs PC World's rundown of the 25 worst websites — including two owned by Microsoft. [MSN]

We've dissected Time's list of the five worst websites. Now it's your turn to tweak their poll for the best ones to your satisfaction. (Time.com is still using the same weakly protected polling system as the heavily gamed People Who Matter Now poll from Business 2.0.) The kids from Y Combinator, entrepreneur Paul Graham's startup camp, have already admitted to artificially beefing up the votes for Weebly, a Y Combinator-backed startup — but why let them have all the fun? Here are Valleywag's picks on whose ballots to stuff.

Time has deigned to inform the public of the 5 Worst Websites on the Internet. Yes, the same magazine that named YOU the Person of the Year in 2006 is telling you the five sites to avoid. But first, we'll add a sixth to the list: Time.com, for wasting so many expensively edited words on five websites that clearly don't deserve them. After the jump, we read Time's list so you don't have to.

This morning, Doree roused herself at an ungodly hour to attend a panel discussion called "Do Newspapers Have a Future?" at the W Hotel in Midtown, with the New Yorker's Ken Auletta lobbing questions at Times Washington bureau chief Dean Baquet and McClatchy CEO Gary Pruitt.

The Times wants to harness the creativity of its employees for the naming of the conference rooms in their shiny new office building. To that end, they're holding a contest, for which the winners will receive "$100 on his or her cafeteria Zipthru account." In an effort to put some meat on the bones of the hungry folks at 43rd Street (you know what happens when the blood sugar gets low) we offer the following suggestions, which they should feel free to submit as their own.

The always reliable Fred U. Dicker reports that "Gov. Eliot 'Steamroller' Spitzer was at it again yesterday, in a 15-minute, expletive-laden exchange with Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno that left top state officials aghast—and caused a secretary to flee the face-off in horror, insiders said yesterday." Since the "family-friendly" Post won't give you any of the good stuff, we've obtained a transcript of the call and itemized its profanities.

Did you hear? In a completely uncoerced confession, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has admitted to being the mastermind behind the September 11th attacks and almost every other attack ever! How great is that? Everything wrapped up in a nice, tidy package. Guant

Web 2.0's real killer feature are its logos. The Dr. Web Weblog spreads out Web 2.0 logos on a chromatic scale in a clickable list. A rough Babelfish of the German intro:

Determined not to let Cosmo hold court over the unrealistic self-improvement beat, this week's issue of New York offers "12 Ways to Remake Your Boring Old Self." The idea is cute (readers love listicles!), but we're not sure how many people, if any, want to remake their lives per New York's suggestions, which include becoming a nun, growing organic tomatoes upstate, or getting cast on a reality show. As an alternative, we'd like to offer Gawker's far more realistic list for shaking up your boring old life:

Crain's New York Business blast-emailed some exciting news yesterday: The mag's annual "40 Under 40" list is now online! For free! Yippee! The list highlights "young," "dynamic," "passionate," "bold," "driven," "savvy," "daring," "active" New York businesspeople. It also highlights Crain's desperately quixotic hope for some pop-culture relevance. How do we know this? Well, here's a random sample of six headshots from the feature:

Thanks for bearing with me today. I wasn't fully prepared when I agreed to take a stab at producing 12-odd items (I think "odd" turned into the operative word) but my stay here is a brief one. I swear I'll be using as many of the tips everyone has sent as possible, even if I have to space them out over several gigantic link-dump posts. Here are a few to hold you over.

Given the bitter weather and the spectacularly frustrating transit strike, this week's New York provides a much needed warm fuzzy with its "123 Reasons to Love New York Right Now" cover story. After all, we all sometimes need a reminder as to why we put up with the bullshit.