Gawker's 12 Ways to Remake Your Boring Old Life
Determined not to let Cosmo hold court over the unrealistic self-improvement beat, this week's issue of New York offers "12 Ways to Remake Your Boring Old Self." The idea is cute (readers love listicles!), but we're not sure how many people, if any, want to remake their lives per New York's suggestions, which include becoming a nun, growing organic tomatoes upstate, or getting cast on a reality show. As an alternative, we'd like to offer Gawker's far more realistic list for shaking up your boring old life:
1. Dramatically embellish your public persona
2. Shoot your friend in the face
3. Make as many sex tapes as possible
4. Be Gay
5. Adopt an Ethiopian lovechild
6. Convert to Scientology
7. Cut your hair like Mick Mars and get on the Cobrasnake
8. Regularly go into rehab
9. Grow a moustache
10. Stop eating
11. Fuck someone in Maroon 5
12. Get a STD test
