Failed party planner Pippa Middleton crawled out of her sister's dungeon yesterday long enough to cry "scuse me, did somebody say butts?" In a very rude column for The Spectator, Pips wrote about Kim Kardashian's ass, because, I guess, Pippa herself wore a butt to a wedding that one time.

Kim Kardashian gained a fair amount of weight during her pregnancy with baby North West, and the tabloids were genuinely terrible to her about it. Now in an interview with Elle UK, Kim explains she went through that trial because of God. God smote Kim Kardashian for thinking she was "so hot."

Earlier reports indicated that Kim Kardashian's teenaged sister Kendall Jenner was bullied by the other models at fashion week this fall. But Kendall, who has quickly become successful in the fashion industry for you know, whatever reason, told Dazed that no one hates her because she is rich and beautiful.

In the proud artistic tradition of Kim Kardashian shitting hot ass diarrhea from a Keurig machine, here is Kim Kardashian shitting cold ass snow from a snowblower.

Since Kim Kardashian posed completely naked for Paper this month, people have had questions for her. One interviewer on the Australian radio station 92.9 wants to know: would Kim let her daughter North (who is a baby) pose nude in 20 years?

Remember that dark period in history when editor Anna Wintour dared to put Kim Kardashian and Kanye West on the cover of Vogue (last April)? She confesses now that she did so to get people talking about Vogue. Imagine that.

Not sure if you've seen these, but uh, Kim Kardashian has some nude photos in Paper magazine this month. And unlike the last time she posed nude for a cover, Kim's actually happy with the result. "It made me feel confident and really good about myself," she said yesterday.

"From Jonathan Gruber to Kim Kardashian: Why American Leadership Is Broken." Good column here.

While rich baby North West may never get any treats, she could soon be in possession of her very own private island with a custom-built amusement park. According to Australian tabloid New Idea, Kim Kardashian has been eyeing Turtle Island off the coast of Queensland while promoting her new perfume Down Under.

According to an OK! Magazine source, Kim Kardashian feeds her 16-month-old fashion doll a strict, sugar-free, organic diet, meaning: NO TREATS.

Glee "star" Naya Rivera posted a straight-up rude comment on Kim Kardashian's Instagram of her bare-ass Paper cover on Tuesday. She is not sorry for that comment.

Well, it looks like Kim Kardashian's nude photos broke the internet after all.

Anthony Ray, aka Sir-Mix-A-Lot, has finally weighed in on the culture's recent bout of booty mania. And thank God he has.

Looks like Paper mag's big "break the internet" plan was simple: full-frontal Kim Kardashian. (Sadly her naked photos failed to break the internet on previous attempts, but maybe this time will be different.) Anyway, the very NSFW shots are certainly befitting of a Vogue cover model and Kanye is probably very proud.

Kim Kardashian's Paper cover, centered on her bare, oiled-up ass, threatened to break the internet. Well, Chelsea Handler's butt can make threats, too. It's on Instagram right now, threatening to be seen by you.

Here's a bizarre experiment in postmodernism, undertaken this morning on Buzzfeed: "If Kim Kardashian Had Realistic Waistlines."

Before Kim Kardashian's ass was all over the internet last night, her sister Khloe showed hers by posting a fun sex joke about the Ku Klux Klan on Instagram. She's since deleted the post, but she kept the tweet that linked to it.

Noted Kim Kardashian wannabe Naya Rivera (of Glee "fame") possibly trashed Kim on Instagram last night because eh, who knows. She pulled the Mom Card. If screenshots are to be believed, Naya commented this on Kim's pic of her naked Paper cover:

"I love sharing my world with people,' Kim Kardashian says in this month's issue of Paper, also sharing with people a photo shoot intended to remind the world that she, too, has an ass.

Kim Kardashian is maybe possibly having another baby. Or she's at least thinking about having another baby. In a recent interview with U.K. beauty company Pixiwoo, she mentioned her maternity style "this time around" before getting flustered—in the flat, dead-eyed way a Kardashian gets flustered—and moving on.