College is a special time in a teenager's life when he can leave mom and dad behind in order to smoke lots of weed in peace. But according to fake trendspotters, parents these days just can't let go! It's bananas.

The 14-year-old Dutch sailor attempting to become the youngest person to circumnavigate the globe alone has started her journey.

New sociological research shows that "campus conservatives" get along fine if they just stop whining.

Speaking of complaints about the incoming college Class of 2014, here's another one: they're not smart enough to be in college. No, really.

Children of anonymous sperm donors are lobbying for legislation to ban men from spilling their seed without giving up their identities, so they'll be easier to track down. Related: potential fathers imagining needy teenagers drives sperm donation to all-time low.

Every year, Beloit College publishes a "Mindset List" that reveals just how god damn young College Kids These Days are. They've never worn a wristwatch, or enjoyed an egg cream with their A-1-gal in the old-fashioned style? What the fuck?

Double entendres! Camp Rock 2! Panning shots of an excited audience composed of toddlers and teens! Road Dogs! Tiger Beat! Over fifteen minutes of visual goodies edited down to less than four for your viewing pleasure enclosed. Ronald Reagan!

What's the problem with schools these days? Well, besides the racial performance gap, the out-of-control employees, and the city government takeovers, they just can't keep their most important stakeholders (the media) happy.

Apparently girls as young as eight are getting waxed at salons, just like their completely hairless moms. One Beverly Hills salon owner estimates 20 percent of her clientele are tweens. Well, at least these kids are developing pain tolerance.

Update: Ha ha. Looks like the article is two years old, as pointed out by some commenters. We're not feeling too well today. So, yeah, we blame that. But still: 12-year-olds getting bikini waxes! It's still crazy—even two years later!

Sexy grades or Sexy sex? Teens can have both! Provided they're in a serious relationship. A new study shows that teens in committed relationships do no better or worse than those who don't have sex. "Hooking-up" teens do worse.

A new Gallup poll shows that 49 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds have a "great deal" of confidence in newspapers, compared to just 16 percent of 30- to 49-year-olds. This is because they have never read a newspaper.

Internet fandom has existed since the dawn of the Internet. But Justin Bieber's fans have pioneered a strange new form: Justin Bieber micro-gossip, which painstakingly chronicles the obscure controversies and characters only a true Belieber can follow.

The high school years have always been fraught with social peril, and middle school is a time many remember for instilling a lifelong sense of mortifying awkwardness. Fine, but what about toddlers? Can we give them an inferiority complex, too?

This is what America's sad obsession with cooking reality shows hath wrought: a whole generation of kids who attend "culinary summer camps" (by choice). Are 13 year-olds not unbearable enough? Must they be foodies as well?

It's disturbing when a tough economy and lack of post-college employment prospects lead America's young people (our greatest asset, next to nuclear weapons) down the wrong road. The road to church. Why won't god stop this madness?

It seems like so long ago Jessi Slaughter was the 11-year-old girl brought to tears by Internet bullies. Now she has announced that she's launching a clothing line in a new video. OK, it's time to say goodbye Jessi!

Just when you thought it was safe to go to Central Park with a basket of cheese and things like that, whoa, stop. Crime in Central Park is skyrocketing more than anywhere else. Are you in terrible danger? (Probably).

Dutch teen Laura Dekker set sail today for Portugal as she attempts to become the youngest person to sail solo around the world. She's 14, and just won a legal battle against child protection authorities attempting to stop her. [AFP]

Study: teens who spend lots of time online are more likely to be depressed. Another study: teens who watch reality TV are more likely to get plastic surgery. And teens who watch reality TV online think their boob jobs suck.

Dutch teen Laura Dekker leaves Wednesday for Portugal, where she will begin her attempt at being the youngest person to sail around the world alone. Last week a court released the 14-year-old from Dutch child protection services guardianship. [AP]