• Christian Slater, forced to give up his New York hobby of ass-groping, heads to West Hollywood, where he supplements his diet of misbehavior by falling off of Paris Hilton's roof. [People]
• Can we not take a tip from our friends across the pond and offer amnesty for those commuters caught reading embarrassing books? [Friday Project]
• Kate Moss grabs the December cover of Vanity Fair, making it all the more meta when you inevitably use your copy for cutting lines. [Jossip]
• Sex and the City's advertising campaign continues to skank all over Manhattan. [Gothamist]
• Justin Timberlake is being blamed for ruining Shrek 3. Funny: We thought Shrek 2 ruined the franchise. Aw, were we mean to the cute wittle cartoons? [Radar]
• Jesse Sheidlower literally cannot stand your incorrect usage of the word "literally." [Slate]
• For those of you poor spinsters so pathetic as to not land real engagement rings, Daily Candy suggests wearing a fake. [DailyCandy]

Our wish has been granted: Kate Moss, the supermodel whose rail-blowing image graced the cover of the UK's Daily Mirror, has reportedly decided to move to the United States. Just released from an Arizona rehab clinic last week, Moss is looking for a new home in New York, naturally (might we suggest a property in the Tribeca River Lofts? We hear alien model-types like the joint).

• Cocaine Kate is now Sober Kate, as the supermodel has been released from her paparazzi-hiding stint in rehab. Oh, Katie, New York is waiting for you with open arms. Come on home, sugarpie! [CNN]
• Today show weatherman Al Roker has been Googling himself on the matter of his fantastic on-air fall during Hurricane Wilma and is a tad defensive. Or maybe he's just misses eating entire sandwiches and has no choice but to blog his rage. [Al Roker]
• Making sure your Halloween costume is as gay as possible. [Manhattan Offender]
• The MTA wants to thank you, poor commuter, in some "small, insignificant way." [AP/NYDN]
• Imagine the fear of answering your phone to hear the voice of Harvey Weinstein telling you to vote for Bloomberg. That's exactly why we hate land lines. [Politicker]
• But what Lindsay Lohan really wants to do is direct. [MTV]

• LA Times gets all A1 with its hipster coverage, burning your cornea with a major piece on party photographer The Cobra Snake. Bonus points for New Yorkers Joey Arak and Choire McSichapants for quotage, and to Jonny Kaps for having his name repeatedly misspelled. [LAT]
• So who's going to replace legendary King of All Media Howard Stern? Worst case scenario: Adam Carrolla or David Lee Roth. Time to buy an iPod if you haven't already. [CBS/AP]
• In other replacement news, cheap retalier has replaced Cocaine Kate Moss with Italian model Mariacarla Boscano, who we're sure has never blown a rail in her entire life. [Yahoo/AP]
• Fundamentalist Christians get laid more than you think. [NYT]
• Manhattan, meet the ViVa 'hood. That's right: The next neighborhood to try and get all "hot" is named after your budget paper towels. [Curbed]

Having abruptly booted Kate Moss from their fall campaign after the supermodel was photographed hoovering cocaine, cheapie clothier H&M is currently looking for her replacement (models Erin O'Connor and Mariacarla Boscono are on the short list).

While we've been nothing but supportive of supermodel Kate Moss's highly publicized cocaine habit, we might have to step back for a moment and deliver some heavy-handed criticism to our girl. Yesterday, it was reported that Moss's on-and-off junky boyfriend Pete Doherty was planning to visit Moss at the Meadows rehab center in Arizona — and while we thought it wasn't perhaps the best idea for a heroin addict to go visit Moss during this delicate time, we certainly had to admire homeboy's dedication.

• Since the world was visually introduced to the coke-fuelled antics of supermodel Kate Moss, she's lost contracts with Burberry, H&M, and Chanel. Now, as it's been roughly a month since the initial story broke, it's time for her comeback: First the cover of W, then love from Yves St. Laurent. Alas, we doubt Vogue will ever forgive her. Those bitches know how to hold a grudge. [Page Six]
• The lobbyists at the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America hired writers to create a thriller-style novel designed to scare the crap out of anyone looking to score their prescriptions from Canada. When the deal fell through, the lobbyists attempted to buy the silence of involved writers and publishers for a pithy $100,000. If Lloyd Grove got the story, clearly the money wasn't good enough. [Lowdown]
• America's first completely cracked-out supermodel Janice Dickinson will fuck you — yes, you!! — for a Xanax. [Page Six]
• If you don't receive the self-promoting mass emails from Cory Bernstein (AKA "Cory the Model"), consider yourself a better person. Otherwise, you'd likely give a shit about the leaked tapes of his marathon masturbation. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Matt Lauer's recent vacation from the Today show was reportedly a Eurotrash getaway with his wife, Annette Roque. No better way to celebrate your reconciliation than at Paris's Sexodrome or on the streets of Amsterdam. [Gatecrasher (2nd to last)]

We fail to see how this possibly could be a good idea. Unless, of course, he intends to stay.

• More on the Boy George cocaine bust: He apparently called the cops after a male prostitute tried to rob him, at which point the cops found the coke. Because where there's a hooker, there's blow of one sort of another. [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie stops humping Brad Pitt just long enough to speak out against mining the Iraq border, then threatened to adopt all Iraqi orphans if her requests were not met. [R&M]
• While Kate Moss twiddles her thumbs in rehab, the father of her child, Jefferson Hack, has possession of the little girl and a brand new modeling contract on Savile Row. [Page Six]
• Why we'll always love MTV: In an episode of Date My Mom, a mother told a contestant, in Russian, that her daughter had a very big heart. The MTV subtitles, however, read, "There is no better piece of a- than my princess Anastasia." Six in one hand, half-dozen in the other. [Lowdown]

• Aileen Mehle (aka: Suzy ) the gossip columnist who once said, I'm here to stay, like Mount Rushmore, is retiring her column after 50 years. Mount Rushmore says it will give it another year or two before packing it in and moving to Boca Raton. [Page Six]

• Dennis Rodman reveals that his ex-wife Carmen Electra has a tendency to insert penne pasta in her lovers' asses. Happy Columbus Day! [Lowdown]
• Long Island's favorite alcoholic, singer Billy Joel, was once so depressed that he drank furniture polish. Sadly, he didn't drink quite enough and instead went on to destroy several innocent trees with his car. [Page Six]
• Having sacked supermodel Kate Moss after she graced the cover of the Daily Mirror with a rolled 5-note shoved up her nose, Burberry considers actress Rachel Weisz as the face of their next campaign. [R&M (3rd item)]
• Brad Pitt has bought some sort of batcave in the wilds of Canada, where he's instructed bodyguards to stalk any paparazzi following around the actor. [Page Six]
• Former gossipista Deborah Schoeneman's forthcoming roman chef features a character called Tim, "An already jaded, near-alcoholic gossip writer with no boundaries." Wonder who that could be based on. No, really, we do wonder: Find us a gossip boy who doesn't fit that description. [Gatecrasher]

Kate Moss can't catch a break. The beleaguered model has endured a hasty trip to rehab, the loss of lucrative modeling contracts, and even the unbidden support of Sharon Stone. But now, the release of another shocking cocaine video threatens to commence yet another trying cycle of public humiliation and psychic pain. Good thing it looks like she's been working out—she's going to need all her strength to survive this latest trial.

If Kate Moss knows what's good for her, she might stay at Arizona's Meadows rehab center indefinitely. The UK's Sun reports today that upon her return to Britain, the once-super model will be arrested under suspicion of supplying cocaine.

In this, her darkest hour, rehabbing supermodel Kate Moss knows that even when it seems that the whole world has turned on her and pretended that it doesn't enjoy a good line of blow or five for an afternoon pick-me-up, Sharon Stone has her back:

At this point, we're plum out of original commentary on supermodel Kate Moss's "alleged" cocaine use, except for the fact that we find media reports of the incident utterly absurd in that they still referring to the whole thing as "alleged." There's really nothing alleged about it: The Daily Mirror published photographs of her bumping lines, Kate Moss has apologized for her indiscretions, and now a video of the incident has made its way to European television outlets and, in turn, the internet. If you've never seen a Brian DePalma movie, you'll find the footage (from an Italian newscast) highly educational. Otherwise, it's nothing you haven't already seen on a Saturday night.

Since there's an outside possibility that you won't have a chance to watch a model blow some rails until you go out for lunch, we dutifully direct you to the video of Kate Moss's infamous hoovering of some unsuspecting lines of booger sugar. The "exclusivo" video is in Italian, which serves to restore some of the exotic allure that coke lost for you once you moved to L.A. and saw your first punch bowl full of the stuff at a party.

• Times reporter Judith Miller is finally released from jail, coming home to an awkward office party with cake and ice cream.
• Network morning shows compete for ratings and saved seats in heaven.
• Jon Stewart gives his two cents — and then some — on the squalid state of magazines.
• Conde Nast and Fairchild start to sleep in the same bed, Details finds itself but not its readers, and Vitals is anything but.
• Anti-everything novelist Jonathan Franzen tries to destroy any remaining hope you might have for creative literature.
• Comments get fiery over the sexuality of CNN's Anderson Cooper; we lose sleep over the implication of being a "power bottom."
• Predictably, coked-up supermodel Kate Moss enters rehab.
• And, last but certainly not least, New Yorkers are screwed when it comes to emergency management.

If you haven't already, you might want to familiarize yourself with The Party Party, a remix project featuring vocals from the administration's finest. The White Lines track appropriately features a voice-over from George W. Bush, highlighted by the following lyrics:

We'd assumed Kate Moss was going to drug rehab. But, seeing this Google News item, we wonder if perhaps it's for binge eating. Or maybe spontaneous aging.

Just remember, you first heard it on a random blog 3 or 4 days ago: Supermodel Kate Moss, whose talent for cutting and bumping lines of cocaine has been recently documented, has entered the Meadows rehab center just outside of Phoenix, Arizona. Reportedly costing over $4000 a day, the clinic is just slightly more expensive than Moss' coke habit and will hopefully provide the sniffly lass with some much-needed time away from her crackheaded, kinda-erstwhile boyfriend, rocker Pete Doherty.