• Aileen Mehle (aka: Suzy ) the gossip columnist who once said, I'm here to stay, like Mount Rushmore, is retiring her column after 50 years. Mount Rushmore says it will give it another year or two before packing it in and moving to Boca Raton. [Page Six]

• Actress Selma Blair is publishing a short story in an anthology of erotica that includes Joyce Carol Oates and Dorothy Allison," saying she plans to start writing because that s what she went to college for. Which is funny because we went to college so we could tank in the movie Hellboy. [[Lowdown (2nd item)]

Josh Holloway, who plays "Sawyer" on Lost (and whose character is ironically suffering from a gunshot wound), was recently held at gunpoint and robbed of his cash, credit cards, and Benz — proving once and for all that bad things do happen when you quit pressing that button. [NYP]

• Elton John believes Kate Moss is better off for being caught snorting coke on the Daily Mirror because it forced her to confront her drug habit. Any day now, John will appear on the cover of the Daily Homo and get himself straightened out. [R&M]

• Good Morning America weatherman Tony Perkins is leaving GMA to become the weekend weathercaster on the Fox Morning News affiliate in Washington DC where he lives. Perkins explained his reason for leaving, saying that he is eager to get back to working in DC and murdering people in the shower. [NYP]