Having recovered from her onstage vomiting in Barcelona, Lady Gaga paid a visit to Julian Assange in his sanctuary at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London tonight. The two met because...well, it's not exactly clear why they met.

The American government wants to burn Julian Assange at the stake.

Hey ladies! Any of you out there looking to meet an aware, available guy? You're in luck! This young gentleman is looking to share some pavement space (and maybe a tent) at protest in favor of transparency activist Julian Assange. He'll be at the Ecuadorian embassy all weekend, protesting the British government's attempt to extradite Assange to Sweden on charges of sexual assault — and what better place to meet someone than a rally in support of an accused rapist?

Ecuador will grant Julian Assange political asylum, the country's Foreign Minister, Ricardo Patino, announced this morning.

Julian Assange will be granted asylum in steamy Ecuador, reports the Guardian, citing an Ecuadorian official. Assange has been hiding out in the Ecuadorian embassy in London since June 19th, seeking asylum from president Rafael Correa in order to avoid an extradition order to Sweden where he faces a sex crimes investigation.

Skeezeball leakmeister Julian Assange has squirreled himself away at the Ecuadorian embassy in London to avoid deportation to Sweden to face sex crimes allegations. According to a tweet by Wikileaks, he's now seeking "political asylum." ENORMOUS SIGH.

Real-life The Matrix extra Julian Assange lost his extradition appeal today, as Britain's highest court ruled that he can be extradited to Sweden to face allegations of rape and sexual assault. For the past year and a half Assange has been under house arrest fighting the European arrest warrant against him because it's "invalid" and also he really, really doesn't want to go to prison.

Wikileaks-founder-turned-talk-show-host Julian Assange has been under house arrest in the UK for the past year-and-half, fighting the CIA-backed radical feminist conspiracy to extradite him to Sweden to face sexual assault accusations by two women there. Tomorrow, we will finally learn his fate.

In this new trailer, the screech of dubstep summons the lucrative 18-34 year-old male demographic to Wikileaks editor Julian Assange's upcoming talk show, The World of Tomorrow, which premiers on the Kremlin's favorite TV channel, Russia Today next Tuesday. The show will feature a theme song penned by M.I.A., who is basically the Bradley Manning of Super Bowl performers, and interviews with famous people conducted in the "secret" location Assange is currently holed up in fighting extradition to Sweden for rape accusations.

Catholic scold Rick Santorum thinks Julian Assange is a "terrorist"—and ought to be prosecuted as such—for his role in releasing thousands of pages of classified documents on the internet. He ought to know: In 2006, Sen. Rick Santorum literally forced the U.S. government to dump thousands of pages of classified records concerning Iraq onto the web, including detailed plans for building a nuclear weapon, so that right-wing bloggers could search them for evidence of Saddam Hussein's phantom WMD.

In a blistering article published on the website of UK magazine The New Statesman, journalist Kapil Komarredi accuses Julian Assange and Wikileaks of playing a role in stunting democracy in Belarus with the help of noted crazy person Israel Shamir.

Former New York Times editor Bill Keller has spent the past year pursuing a weird personal crusade against Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. He continues, weirdly, and to the detriment of his own reputation. Likewise, we shall continue our crusade against Bill Keller, until all of the world's readers have abandoned both of us, and we are merely talking to one another, like the cranks that we all are.

Kremlin-backed talk show host Julian Assange is back in court in England today, in what will be the final, hopefully failed, attempt to appeal his extradition to Sweden to face rape and molestation allegations. Assange's legal troubles—and the fact that Wikileaks' submission system still isn't fixed after more than a year—haven't kept him from guest-starring in an upcoming episode of The Simpsons. This really validates our decision to stop watching the The Simpsons after Maude Flanders died.

Julian Assange, the seed-spilling sex creep who devised an elaborate scheme involving a secret-killing web site and an international espionage investigation in service of his ultimate goal of becoming famous, is launching a television talk show.

In a new Rolling Stone interview, pale nerd king Julian Assange claims "hundreds" of women have ambushed him and tried to marry him while he's been under house arrest in England. We would love to hear from all of these suitors.

Wikileaks unveiled a mysterious social network today on Twitter, called Friends of Wikileaks. It's the social network for people who think their personal information is too safe in the hands of Mark Zuckerberg.

Two British judges have decided that Wikileaking lothario Julian Assange can petition the British Supreme Court to consider his appeal against extradition to Sweden, where authorities want to ask him about two alleged sexual assault incidents. This means he won't have to cancel his holiday plans, which included adapting the contents of diplomatic cables into Christmas carols (probably).

Julian Assange just unveiled Wikileaks' latest release, and it's embarrassing: A bunch of brochures and manuals they downloaded from public websites, and some stuff that the Wall Street Journal published last month.

Famous fundraising agency Wikileaks has delayed the launch of their much-anticipated new submission system, which was to be released today, because the entire internet is not good enough for Julian Assange.

Today we learned that Julian Assange, everyone's favorite long-haired leaker, was denied appeal against extradition to Sweden. This is very bad news for Julian because it is in Sweden that he faces those sexual assault charges he's been trying to wriggle and writhe his way out of. One commenter eloquently captured his life in a single stanza.