♦ You probably heard the news yesterday that Clay Aiken is coming out of the closet. We thought we'd remind you again since you're undoubtedly still in a state of shock and disbelief. [P6, People]
♦ Anna Wintour took the trash out of her West Village townhouse wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and slippers. [R&M]
♦ Olivia Palermo's role in Whitney Port's new Hills spinoff will earn her $12,000 an episode. [P6]
♦ In response to her father's recent rants, Lindsay Lohan says her dad is out of line and "obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods." [P6]
♦ Jude Law was spotted with protestors outside the UN this week, although he was acting like "more of an observer than a protestor." [MSNBC]

♦ You'd think that for $85,000-a-month, you might shell out a few extra few bucks on a maid. Apparently not. According to the Star, there's no one cleaning up after Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's kids, and their French chateau is a complete pigsty that "looks like a war zone." [Star]
♦ Jennifer Lopez raised $127,000 for charity by competing in the Malibu triathalon. She then flew directly to New York and spent $800,000 on Marc Anthony's birthday party. [MSNBC]
♦ According to the always reliable Joe Francis, Lindsay Lohan is straight. [E!]
♦ Lindsay: Please don't discuss how you're supporting Barack in November. You're embarrassing him. [NYDN]

• It looks like Pat O'Brien might be back off the wagon following his email rant about Lara Spencer to the staffs of both The Insider and ET. [R&M, P6]

• Today host Ann Curry moved during the national anthem at the Republican National Convention, because NBC hates freedom. Then she pointed at a nice lady from Alaska and yelled, because she is a terrorist. The Virgin Islands were also terribly offended. [P6]

• Britney Spears is supposedly furious with her mother over her upcoming tell-all, which accuses the pop star's former manager of grinding up pills and sneaking them into her meals. She should be in a better mood, however, after she reads all the positive reviews from her appearance on the VMAs last night, where she kicked off the show and later won three awards. [P6, NYP]

• Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild scuzz, has for some reason hired as his personal assistant Holly Montag, sister of the actress Heidi Montag. He reports she is "probably the best assistant I have ever had," by which he means she waited for him to get out of prison and greatly increases the chances he will score some sort of reality television deal. [P6]

• The lawsuit between Donald Trump and Times reporter Timothy O'Brien continues: A judge has ordered Arthur Sulzberger Jr. to submit to a deposition, which the publishing scion isn't all that happy about. [P6]

Currently enmeshed in a terrible global conspiracy involving 17-year-old girls, U.S. District Judges, a shadowy cabal of vampires (and most likely the Stonemasons), Girls Gone Wild proprietor Joe Francis is on the hunt for a way to restore his good name — and there's no one more willing to help than Donald Trump. Already the crown prince of magnanimity thanks to his selfless (some might say tear-inducing) bail-out of the beleaguered Ed McMahon, Hollyscoop says that the billionaire and the porn purveyor are set to team up:

Won't someone stand up for a poor, beleaguered pornographer like Joe Francis? These days, his Spitzer-related paydays are too few and far between, and the ex-jailbird spends most of his time battling lawsuits filed on behalf of women who appeared in his Girls Gone Wild videos while underage. Now, Francis is fighting back against what he dubs "southern justice gone awry," filing his own lawsuit in Los Angeles County Court that alleges a massive, breast-baring conspiracy cooked up by teenage girls and U.S. District Judges alike. In fact, according to THR, Esq:

Joe Francis, the creepy smutrepreneur who teased us all with promises of Ashley Alexandra Dupré footage, has taken to the Internet to demand his rights under the Constitution. Seems a judge and prosecutors in Panama City, FL abused Francis in all sorts of illegal and unethical ways. The sad thing is that I have to support Francis on this issue. And if you like your porn cheap and freely available, you probably should, too.

Well after the Eliot Spitzer scandal has subsided and bronzed call girl Ashley Dupré no longer makes headlines, she's dropped her case against Girls Gone Wild's entrepreneurial ex-con Joe Francis over the online release of a video characteristic of Francis's oeuvre. We can only hope the young Dupré, pictured here in her high school yearbook, walked away with not just a settlement up front but points on the back end. Sadly, the market cap on her performance can have only been diminished by the wait — I can imagine a band manager-type, buoyed by well-bankrolled rap videos, holding out for mainstream money.

• The daughter of former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel, Courtenay, is dating the heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, Casey. Semel used to date Lindsay Lohan, Johnson used to date a dude, until he was "snatched" away by her aunt. [P6]

• Observers note that Arianna Huffington waited several days to personally blog anything about the death of Tim Russert of Meet The Press, who she often criticized. Then when she did say something, she didn't really praise the man. Not even faint praise! Dammit, Arianna, the public DEMANDS DISINGENUOUS EULOGIES! [R&M]

Oh, excellent, poor Joe Francis and his Girls Gone Wild franchise will now almost definitely not have to pay any damages for releasing a Hooker Gone Wild video featuring former Gov. Eliot Spitzer call girl Ashley Dupre, because he has produced a video of Dupre totally consenting to the whole thing. The video was filmed just outside a shower, logically, and Dupre looks almost definitely drunk. Also, she's only 17.

Want to support pig-faced scumbag "Girls Gone Wild" producer Joe Francis, who recently got out of jail and is awaiting his trial on tax evasion charges? Then go buy your copy of Girls Gone Wild Magazine-it's hot off the presses and stinks of ammonia! "The magazine comes packaged with part one of the 'Hooker Gone Wild' DVD series, starring Eliot Spitzer's infamous call-girl, Ashley Dupré, as well as an additional full-length Girls Gone Wild DVD," the press release boasts.

· Joe Francis educates Chelsea Handler on the finer differences between prison and jail. Misogynist and woman-hater, however, still essentially mean the same thing. [Chelsea Lately]
· Great news everyone! Courtney Love is "GETTING MY FICO NUMBER FIXED! ALL THE FRAUD IS GETTING CLEANSED OFF THERE! ITS SO EXCITING." We hope that puts the final nail in the "Courtney is crazy" coffin, folks. As you can plainly see, with her FICO number fixed and the $70 million fraud all cleansed off, she's never been more clear of mind. [My Space]
· Sacha Baron Cohen has apparently taken the Bruno party to Kansas, where "[airport] security workers became concerned when [a European man] stripped down to tight shorts and began kissing, dancing and fighting in the lobby." He was also spotted at a local church's Easter pageant, where he "showed up in chains." [Faded Youth]
· This item about Tom Cruise milling about the Star Trek movie set (don't worry—he's not in it) reminded us of something that had completely slipped our minds: Tom's bearish cameo in Tropic Thunder! [The Scoop]
· Madonna is worried about the tonsil-hockey-partner who got away. [abcnews]
· Any listing of The 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time is bound to provoke debate, but Empire's utters the words "The Littlest Hobo" in the very first sentence, instantly setting things off to a promising start. [Empire]

Girls Gone Wild pioneer Joe Francis profiled by enemy-of-Gawker and columnist Joel Stein? Sign us up! For coach ticket to a nation with no magazines or newspapers or late night cable advertisements! Francis, you may recall, was in jail for a couple months for tax evasion and being a scummy sonuvabitch. He and Stein apparently go way back! We learn so much about Francis, like how he is "a different class" than the other people in jail, and how his ADD often leads people to "mistake him for a coke addict" (heaven forfend!), and also he is just like Rosa Parks. This is page two of the five-page story, btw, and we refuse to go any further. [GQ via Radar]

The video Joe Francis has promised would be on the Girls Gone Wild homepage yesterday evening was finally posted this afternoon, but reveals nothing beyond what's in the stills. The Associated Press has more footage than Francis's customers, who can claim deceptive advertising if their Dupré-motivated signups don't deliver on the naughty bits. There's nothing in the members' area, the site is slow to respond, and support emails remain unanswered. Francis could be playing the tease and building anticipation. Or perhaps he's worried that after an explosive burst of traffic, the site would go down. Which is surprising, because commenter Dweezil tells us Francis's backend is fully scalable.

It's not breaking news that boinking a politician can really boost a call girl's career, but Eliot Spitzer's speed dial favorite Ashley Dupre is sure milking her fifteen minutes for all they're worth (and, apparently, they're worth a lot). Ashley, aka "Kristen," has gone from cokehead hooker to pop star and potential Penthouse pet in under a week, and it was only a matter of time before Girls Gone Wild parolee Joe Francis dug his grubby claws into her newfound fame. After recently offering Dupre $1 million to ride along on one of his pervy bus tours and getting denied, the annoyingly clever Francis dipped into his sticky archives and managed to dig out five-year old footage of none other than Ashley herself. To see how Ashley partied at 17, check out our clip, via TMZ, after the jump.

Leave it to skeevy softcore baron Joe Francis to prove, irrefutably the commercial merits of digital video and online distribution. Until the advent of cheap cameras, storage and a timely way to get the footage to the masses with little fear of censorship, Francis's Girls Gone Wild cameramen would never have shot seven hours of a then-unknown Ashley Alexandra Dupré shaking her rump, gettin' nekkid and kissing other teens. The Internet makes everything cheaper: Francis had offered Dupré $1 million to appear in a video, until he discovered she was already in his archives. Which means he's getting her for the price of beer and a bus ticket.