• Lindsay Lohan could use a little good news today, especially since she's still dealing with the aftermath of her disastrous outing at Paris Fashion Week. Today is not going to be that day, unfortunately. Lohan is set to appear in court in LA a little later to answer questions about whether or not she's violated the terms of the probation she was given after she was busted for DUI a couple of years ago. Let's hope her powers of persuasion are in full effect. The judge could potentially sentence her to jail time, which would not only suck for LiLo, but would also leave Emmanuel Ungaro directionless, clearly. [TMZ, E!]
• Are John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston back together? Is she simply powerless to resist his advances? And have they spent the last few weeks meeting up for secret, romantic escapades around town? For the sake of Aniston's long-term mental health, let's hope none of those things are true. [Us, People]
• Go set your DVR. Tyra Banks plans to air the "first-ever televised colonic" on her show today. Just don't watch it while you're eating. [Dlisted, Tyra Show]

Jennifer Aniston's in love with someone, again. Paul McCartney's son's dreams are coming true and dying all at once. Jon and Kate are still deplorable. And Courtney Hazlett calls out Melissa Rycroft. Hoorah! It's your Friday morning gossip roundup!

• Jeremy Piven, now fully recovered from his bout with mercury poisoning, has been squiring lots of women around town in recent days. He was out with "a super-pretty African American girl" last Friday; a day later, he was at the Rangers season opener with "a gorgeous blond." Let this be another reminder, however, that short, balding guys can date whoever they want as long as they're on a hit TV show. [P6]
• Producers for Tinsley Mortimer's reality show are reportedly having a hard time getting her friends to sign on. Peter Davis, the Tinz's half-brother-in-law, wrote on Facebook that he has "zero interest in playing a warped, twisted version of myself on television." And socialites Zani Gugelmann and Dani Stahl have also passed. So far the only person confirmed is her sister, Dabney Mercer. So does that mean her ex, Topper Mortimer, is out, too? [P6]
• Padma Lakshmi has said she'd like to keep her pregnancy a private matter. And judging by pictures of her at various parties this week, she's barely showing. But none of that stopped her from telling a reporter that she needs to keep her belly "really lubricated" these days: "Every morning, there's a buttering ceremony after I get out of the shower," she said. "It's really like basting a turkey with body butter." [People]

Are Jennifer and Brad going to reconcile? Will Nancy Grace eat Jon Gosselin's face? Can Levi Johnston get in shape for Playgirl? And why do women find Jeremy Piven attractive? Welcome, inquisitive reader, to your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

Rihanna catching a flight at JFK ... Queen Rania of Jordan leaving Harry Cipriani on Fifth Avenue ... John Legend in SoHo eating lunch outside with girlfriend Chrissy Teigene ... Jessica Szohr hanging out on the Gossip Girl set downtown ... Jude Law signing autographs outside his Broadway show ... Kirsten Dunst walking around ... Tess Kartel filming scenes for The Other Guys in Midtown while Mark Wahlberg was shooting his own scenes nearby ... America Ferrera shooting scenes for Ugly Betty ... and Jennifer Aniston leaving Monkey Bar.

• Bethenny Frankel isn't going to be happy about this one bit, but her Real Housewives of New York City co-star, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, is going to appear semi-nude in the December issue of Playboy. The 40-year-old reality TV star won't have to worry about competing with the women almost half her age who normally grace the magazine's pages: The photos were reportedly taken by her ex-husband, photographer Gilles Bensimon, "several years ago." [In Touch, P6]
• Jennifer Aniston was reportedly in tears over a scene for her flick The Bounty because it reminded her of Brad Pitt. The actress supposedly pulled it together to shoot her lines, but the source said, "privately she is still very fragile." Her rep denies it ever happened. But if it did happen, Jen probably needs a better therapist. [P6]
• Topper Mortimer and his girlfriend, Vogue editor Valerie Boster hit the New Yorkers for Children Fall Gala on Tuesday night... as did Topper's ex, Tinsley. Val was reportedly "not happy," but luckily, they all weren't seated together so there was no WASP throwdown. [P6]

John Travolta testifies about the day his son died. Carrie Prejean enjoys playing dress-up. Jude Law has another kid. And you'll never again have to endure Lily Allen's music. All that and much more in your Thursday morning gossip roundup...

If sparkly vampires shit in the woods, would you listen? Did Michael Jackson drink Pepsi? Is Amy Winehouse on drugs again? Does being Ashley Durpre get you invited to parties? Is Jay-Z still gangster? Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

• This week's reviews: Pete Wells of the Times slaps Michael Psilakis' Gus & Gabriel Gastropub with a zero-star review today ("The problem is that it fails to achieve even its low aims"); The New Yorker's Leo Carey comes to an entirely different conclusion; Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton hits Williamsburg to pay a visit to Brooklyn Bowl (with food by Blue Ribbon) and the Brooklyn Star; TONY's Jay Cheshes gives a "generic" Civetta two stars out of five; and NY's Adam Platt finds that "most things deliver" on Dan Silverman's menu at the Standard Grill.
• The Post's Steve Cuozzo is sick and tired of "menu sprawl," the practice of giving diners 478 things to choose from. Steve likes to keep it simple. [NYP]
• A Q&A with Andrew Carmellini, chef and co-owner of Locanda Verde. [RG]
• NYC International Pickle Day is October 4th! Mark your calendar. [GS]
• Renee Zellweger and Jon Bon Jovi co-own a Mexican restaurant (East Hampton's Blue Parrot). With Jen Aniston now saying she would like to open a Mexican spot in Manhattan, that makes three, so it's officially a trend. [Eater]

• If the daughter of fashion's most powerful figure can't find a job, how are those of us with less cushy connections expected to? Anna Wintour says daughter Bee Shaffer has gone on 24 job interviews since graduating from Columbia last spring, but has yet to receive a single offer. [NYDN]
• Is Tinsley Mortimer finally getting the reality show she's been dreaming about? Let's hope so! [P6]
• The good news: Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler had a rendezvous in LA the other night and were acting all lovey-dovey. The bad: Then they got in their cars and drove in totally different directions. [P6]
• Some customer tried to tip the Olsen twins during Fashion's Night Out at Bergdorf last night after they served him a drink. Did the girls keep the money? Give it back? We're going to assume the former for the time being. [NYDN]

Tinsley Mortimer may taste reality television stardom. Tennis star Melanie Oudin tastes the sour side of fame. Jessica Seinfeld's culinary tastes weren't stolen. And Tila Tequila has no taste for foursomes. Happy Friday! Here's your gossip roundup.

• Ivanka Trump has a set a date for her wedding to real estate scion Jared Kushner. It will go down on October 25 at—where else?—the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, NJ. Mark your calendars! [P6]
• Emma Watson is doing her best to "blend in" now that she's a freshman at Brown. Which is a little hard to do when you have the paparazzi tracking your every move on campus, clearly. [NYDN]
• The Olsen twins will be bartending this evening at Barneys as part of the festivities planned for Fashion's Night Out. So Mary-Kate must have just been training the other night when she was spotted "chain-smoking and throwing back shots." [P6]
• Ellen DeGeneres has been tapped to replace Paula Abdul as a judge on the ninth season of American Idol. [E!]

Scientists around the world are in stunned today over the breakthrough in human performance technology made by actress/explorer Jennifer Aniston. Clips released from her new film Love Happens reveals Aniston was able to complete an entire film while comatose.

• Are Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez engaged? The actress was spotted wearing a big diamond on her ring finger this week, which means "either A-Rod is making it official, or Ms. Hudson made some very careless jewelry choices." [NYDN]
• It's the battle of the Bravo reality TV stars on Twitter: Bethenny Frankel says Rachel Zoe is "self-important." Zoe claims Frankel is "insane" and "desperate for attention." Of course, you may find it hard to take sides here, since both of them seem to be making perfectly valid points about one another. [NYDN, Jezebel]
• Poor Gwyneth Paltrow suffered a little wardrobe malfunction while going through security at the Barcelona airport yesterday. [Sun]

Gwyneth needs a better bra. The gays need not beg to kiss George Clooney. And Megan Fox knows she doesn't need a sex tape. All that and more in your Wednesday morning Gossip Roundup!

• Relationships: Sean Penn may have a new girlfriend now that he and Robin Wright Penn are divorcing; Nick Lachey appears to have reunited with Vanessa Minnillo; Khloe Kardashian has a new boyfriend; and George Clooney is no longer trying to hide his relationship with Italian TV star Elisabetta Canalis.

Jennifer Aniston: now eliciting tabloid sympathy. Scott Rudin: still a dick, but a funny one who hates his mother. Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart: prisoners of the vampire kingdom, which needs to go. Winehouse: mess-y. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Sienna Miller walking with Jonny Lee Miller after having lunch at Cafe Gitane on Mott Street ... Rihanna arriving at the Bowery Hotel ... Drew Barrymore on the set of Going The Distance ... Philip Seymour Hoffman riding his bike downtown ... Tom DeLonge pushing a stroller in SoHo ... Christina Milian arriving at her hotel ... Leighton Meester filming scenes for Gossip Girl near Gramercy Park ... Britney Spears riding in a pedicab in Central Park, and later taking a CitySights tour with her dancers ... Jennifer Aniston leaving her trailer on the set of The Bounty in Queens ... Stephanie Pratt going to MTV studios in Times Square ... Hugh Jackman talking on his cell phone while driving with daughter Ava ... Hilary Duff going to the Britney Spears concert ... Gael Garcia Bernal and Amanda Seyfried shooting scenes for Letters to Juliet in SoHo ... and Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her West Village townhouse.

• Last night's long-delayed premiere of the sixth season of Project Runway—on Lifetime, not Bravo—earned the show its highest ratings ever. [NYT, THR]
• Breathe easy: Anna Wintour's travel itinerary for the fall fashion shows in London, Paris and Milan will not be affected by the recent round of budget cuts at Condé Nast. She'll be staying at the Ritz in Paris, as usual. [NYP]
• The cuts have claimed Condé's supply of coffee stirrers, however. [P6]
• Another member of the Sulzberger clan is joining the New York Times. [NYO]
• News Corp. has been meeting with newspaper publishers to discuss forming some sort of "consortium" to charge people for access to news online. [LAT]
• News Corp. is also in talks to sell its Dow Jones stock market index. [NYT]
• Harvey and Bob Weinstein have a lot riding on the success of Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds. How is the movie expected to perform at the box office this weekend? Not too bad, per early estimates. [THR]

We must have looked like idiots this morning on the subway holding page 35 of the NY Post up to our nose. Why the curiosity? Cause it looks like they ran a really big picture of Jennifer Aniston's vag!