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• Lindsay Lohan could use a little good news today, especially since she's still dealing with the aftermath of her disastrous outing at Paris Fashion Week. Today is not going to be that day, unfortunately. Lohan is set to appear in court in LA a little later to answer questions about whether or not she's violated the terms of the probation she was given after she was busted for DUI a couple of years ago. Let's hope her powers of persuasion are in full effect. The judge could potentially sentence her to jail time, which would not only suck for LiLo, but would also leave Emmanuel Ungaro directionless, clearly. [TMZ, E!]
• Are John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston back together? Is she simply powerless to resist his advances? And have they spent the last few weeks meeting up for secret, romantic escapades around town? For the sake of Aniston's long-term mental health, let's hope none of those things are true. [Us, People]
• Go set your DVR. Tyra Banks plans to air the "first-ever televised colonic" on her show today. Just don't watch it while you're eating. [Dlisted, Tyra Show]

• Madonna says she didn't fire Tracy Anderson, her batty personal trainer. She just "wanted to try a new method of working out." Duly noted! [P6]
• Kim Kardashian is getting $50,000 to celebrate her birthday at Tao in Las Vegas next week. But it's totally worth it, we're sure. [P6]
• The man who attacked Leona Lewis the other day had been rejected byThe X Factor, the American Idol-like talent show in Britain that helped propel Lewis to stardom. [The Sun]
• Tilda Swinton came out earlier this week against Donald Trump's plans to build an enormous golf course in Scotland. Now The Donald says he's never even heard of Swinton. (Apparently he missed that Oscar she got a couple of years back.) And he says he Sean Connery on his side, so there. [P6]
• Tony Parker probably won't be happy to hear this, but Jesse Metcalfe, who recently returned to Desperate Housewives, said that he occasionally gets a little "excited" when he takes part in makeout scenes (yes, that kind of excited), and that it's happened with Eva Longoria. [TMZ]
• Wendy Williams seems to have pissed off every African American celebrity in America. Whitney, Mariah, Diddy, Usher, and Tyler Perry are just a few of the people who have refused to appear on the talk show. [NYDN]
• GQ is denying reports that it enhanced January Jones' rack on the cover of the mag's November cover. "Yes, they're real. And they're spectacular,"says GQ's photo editor. Thanks for clearing that up. [P6]
• If you were worried the addition of two new castmembers to the Real Housewives of New York City might ruin a good thing, well, have no fear. Bethenny Frankel says there will be plenty and plenty of drama. [E!]
• Padma Lakshmi is still refusing to talk about who the father of her baby is. But she is willing to say that she has no plans to name him/her Pomegranate. Good news! [People]