From the "You think your local politicians are bad..." department: the mayor, police chief, and a town councilman in the border town of Columbus, New Mexico have been arrested and charged with running an illegal gun-smuggling ring. The mayor allegedly bought dozens of pistols and stored them, and the police chief allegedly bought body armor. The Feds say that much of the material was destined for violent Mexican drug gangs that operate just across the border. Nice.

Bristol Palin's new boyfriend Giacinto "Gino" Paoletti seems like a real salt-of-the-earth fellow. He's a believer, so Sarah must love him. Except he makes fun of people with Down syndrome and thinks reality TV shows about Alaska suck.

Texas is only the most stereotypical of the nine states currently debating whether to allow students to carry guns on college campuses. Students! With guns! At college! In Texas! This is what they are worried about, when it comes to education issues, in Texas. Why?

On tonight's Wheel of Fortune, the last puzzle—an "On the Map" one—was "Auckland, New Zealand." Not too difficult, right? Think again! Watch as all three contestants mess this one up, even with only one letter omitted. Sigh.

It looks like America's Facebooking-est failed governor has been using a fake account to shower praise on her daughter and "like" herself. And she's friends with some creepy people!

What with the alarming recent pseudotrend of racism permeating college campuses, we'd be remiss if we didn't bring you up to speed on this late-breaking story from Friday: Mark Wattier (pictured, atop horse), a political science professor at Murray State University, has decided to retire after being suspended by the school for allegedly making a racial remark to two black students who, he said, showed up late for class. The student says:

Let's say you're going to hold up a gun store. You'd at least load your pistol, right? Well, someone should have told that to the two guys who tried to rob a 65-year-old gun store clerk in Kansas City yesterday. The would-be robbers asked for ammo and put $40 on the counter. Then, from the Kansas City Star:

Robert J. Michelson of Connecticut called 911 with a question about the legal implications of growing pot in his house. He soon found out, after cops traced his number and arrested him.

Las Vegas police on Wednesday arrested 29-year-old Anthony Carleo for allegedly robbing the Bellagio Casino for $1.5 million in chips, while brandishing a pistol and wearing a motorcycle helmet. Carleo was busted after bragging about the robbery on the internet.

Fox News science columnist Gene Koprowski has a long history of standing up against this "global warming" foolishness. Today, he's seeking sources to to explain the "ridiculousness" of the idea of global warming causing snow. Can you imagine?

Remember that Los Angeles school police officer who was shot in the chest last week, prompting a several-school lockdown? They drew up a composite sketch, offered a $100,000 reward? Yeah, that was a "hoax". But a hilarious one!

Don't try this at home! Actually, don't try it anywhere—ever. Anyway, here's a four-minute video of a Nicaraguan school bus driver literally fording a raging river. Twice! (The bus is full, by the way.) Brave? Idiot? Brave idiot?

While New York City college student Hubert Blackman was vacationing in Las Vegas he hired a stripper to come to his room. She gave him a lap dance and performed a sex act on him (illegally). Now he's suing.

Terry Jones, the Florida pastor who threatened to burn a Koran last 9/11, has been banned from Britain. He was trying to attend a far-right rally but was denied entry because he's awful. Can we ban him from America, too?

Conservative radio king Rush Limbaugh sure thinks Chinese people talk funny. Want to hear the impression of Chinese President Hu Jintao he unveiled today? It's 20 straight seconds of cartoonish "CHING CHANG CHONG" sounds. Seriously. The audio is below.

Tampa police helicopter pilot Dave Dennison has been suspended after he used a police chopper to drop off a fishing net at a friend's house. But who knows how many crimes that friend might have committed if he wasn't fishing!

Do you have some kerosene, birthday candles and a water gun sitting around your house? Did you ever want to make your own flamethrower? Then watch this video to see how—with absolutely engulfing results! (Don't really do it.)

First, these guys thought it would be a smart move to attempt to rob a Super 8 Motel. Second, without any weapons of this century at their disposal, they used a musket. Spoiler alert: they left without any cash.

On Christmas Day, a Chicago cab driver picked up 25-year-old Joseph Hoffman. When they arrived at Hoffman's destination, he was passed out cold. The driver eventually called police, who found a mobile meth lab and other drugs worth $450,000.

A Connecticut man tried to rob a restaurant with an iPhone. It didn't work.