Harvard is no longer the world's best university, according to a British ranking system. Instead, Cambridge, in England, is the world's best university, according to these British people and their very British set of standards.

Rev. Mark Gruber, a Benedictine monk and former professor at Saint Vincent's College, was fired last year after the school accused him of downloading underage gay porn on a shared computer. Did the school knowingly accuse an innocent man?

First, there were paid internships. Those were okay. Then, there were unpaid internships. Those were just slightly better than nothing. Now, there are internships you pay for, which won't even get you a high-paying job. Those are a scam.

Notre Dame dismissed engineering professor Oliver Collins (pictured) last June. So Collins filed a lawsuit against the school for breach of contract. So the school was like, "For one thing, all those porn photos you took with our cameras."

Sure, we all like to get our cheap kicks by condemning the rich for sending their kids to private schools. But can you blame them, when public schools are so dangerous and drug-infested? (Yes. But check out these stats).

"For-profit" colleges have come under fire for saddling students with big debts in exchange for dim job prospects. But what about "real" colleges? They're pushing huge debts on students, too. We crunched the numbers to find the worst (NYU).

Speaking of complaints about the incoming college Class of 2014, here's another one: they're not smart enough to be in college. No, really.

A study has compiled a list of the top college majors that lead to low pay. Shockingly, if you major in art or religion or social work, you will never make any money ever and die a penniless, miserable idealist.

The Princeton Review's newest college rankings declare that the University of Georgia is the nation's top party school, while Brigham Young University is the "most sober" school. Interestingly, both suck big time. [Bloomberg. Pic via]

How would you like to find out that your doctor's undergrad days were spent majoring not in chemistry or biology, but in reading lesbian poetry and smoking reefer? Yes, it is time to overreact.

Did you do the stupid thing that a lot of people have done recently and go to law school, just because you're aimless and you figured it would be a productive use of time "in the long run?" Sucker.

College presidents should be distant, stodgy figures who sit high atop an ivory tower, raising money. Instead, according to an alarming new (true?) Washington Post trend story, they all want to be college kids' "friends." It's already gone too far.

Finally, some good news, from a new Congressional report: fewer and fewer poor kids are going to college. Fantastic. Leave that money-sucking scam camp for the richies.

These modern students: Can they do anything right? Whether falling behind their grade school classmates, graduating from high school without being able to count out change, or cheating on all their college tests, they're turning out to be major disappointments.

Yes, William Stewart Simkins was a co-founder of the Florida KKK who bragged about "whipping a 'darkey.'" But the University of Texas already has his name on a dorm. Taking it off would be a hassle. So, fierce debate!

Education: what is it for? Education exists to get you a job, and to give educators a job. Money is the root of education. So grade inflation, rich-kid perks, and dumbing down of grad schools are justified. For money!

"Math," one of the subjects Americans do not learn in high school, tells us that the value of a college degree is now negative. Nevertheless, kids are now rushing to pay more to attend colleges. Fake colleges.

University of Miami music professor Doug Bickel (pictured) was either, A) forced out because he's a sexual-harassing, weed-smoking maniac, or B) resigned after pressure from a jealous homophobic fellow pianist. Doug Bickel is either A) awesome or B) fucked up.

College was once regarded as a place where no-good kids could smoke weed for four years and come out technically qualified for a high-paying career. Now, its regarded as a place you can't afford. But is three-year college worth it?

Forty years ago today, National Guard troops opened fire on protesting students at Kent State University, killing four and wounding nine. Let us remember them every time we walk away unharmed after taking over a food court.