• It looks like it's war between two Hamptons magazines that no one actually reads: A title called Hamptonite is now accusing Devorah Rose's Social Life of destroying copies of its debut issue last weekend. Social Life denies the accusation, although when members of the Real Housewives are involved, anything is possible, really. [P6]
• In A-Rod/Madonna news, the Yankee is still dating Kate Hudson and she's already started "following [him] around." For her part, Madonna is reportedly "livid" at Gwyneth Paltrow because she blames her for setting the two up. [P6, NYDN]
• Rihanna may finally open up about the alleged assault on her by Chris Brown: Prosecutors say they'll subpoena her to appear at a June 22 hearing to decide if there's enough evidence to move ahead with the case. [People]

• Alex Rodriguez has a new, more age-appropriate celeb to spend his lonely nights with. The Yankee was spotted with Kate Hudson at a UES restaurant and outside 15 Central Park West, the apartment building where he rents. And they seem happy, too, which may be because she doesn't force him to wake up early on Saturday mornings to attend Kabbalah classes. [P6]
• Scarlett Johansson and Gwyneth Paltrow are reportedly butting heads on the set of Iron Man 2. Gwynnie is supposedly mad that Scarlett's been "hogging the limelight" and demanding too much attention from the crew. [Sun]
• It looks like Mel Gibson's new girlfriend is pregnant, after all. [MSNBC, P6]
• Estée Lauder CEO William Lauder and his wife Karen have split up. [P6]
• Penelope Cruz missed a scheduled appearance with Harvey Weinstein in Cannes this week because of food poisoning, although Harvey says she's expected to recover in time for the premiere of their new movie tonight. [Us]

• Gwyneth Paltrow is planning to give up her contract with Estée Lauder so she can focus on her website Goop.com, per the ever-reliable Daily Mail. More troubling: The paper says her plan is to "become an Oprah Winfrey-like lifestyle guru." [DM]
• Michelle Obama returned to NYC today. She attended the reopening of a wing at the Met (where she wore a coat by Isaac Mizrahi coat and sat next to Ralph Lauren, Iman, and Anna Wintour). Then it was over to opening night at the American Ballet Theater. [WWD, NYT]
• An excerpt from Lauren Conrad's debut novel has been posted online, in case you feel up to tackling some heavy literature. [Teen Vogue]
• Valentino, diplomat of fashion: "I saw the pictures of the Metropolitan gala evening last week and I never saw something more ugly." [Guardian]
• Speaking of Valentino, Time Out's current issue tests out self-tanners. [TONY]

• Three of disgraced lawyer Marc Dreier's Hamptons homes—including two neighboring mansions on Dune Road in East Quogue and a rundown Westhampton house—are about to hit the market. The East Quogue estates are expected to be listed together for around $12.5 million. [NYP]
• Lisa Bonder Kerkorian, the ex-wife of billionaire Kirk Kerkorian, has gone into contract to sell her Bridgehampton mansion. Originally listed for $16.3 million, the 10,000-square-foot manse is reportedly selling for under its most recent asking price of $7.9 million. [P6, Corcoran]
• Hedge funder Jason Capello paid $15.45 million for a four-bedroom condo at 40 East 66th Street. In January, he sold his 72nd floor apartment at the Time Warner Center for $16.25 million. [Real Deal]
• Former Yankee Bobby Abreu has put his 37th-floor condo at One Beacon Court on the market $7.9 million, which happens to be the same price he listed it for just last year. [Curbed, PDE]

Those who toil in the fashion industry may not shape our lives to quite the same extent as some of the luminaries who make it on to Time's "Most Influential" list, like Oprah Winfrey, or Zac Ephron, or the evil doers who invented Twitter. But the fact that the list includes just one fashion world figure is still a bit of a surprise. So who is it? Anna Wintour? Tom Ford? Gisele, Naomi, or Kate perhaps? Nope. The people at Time have named Stella McCartney as one of the world's most influential people. But don't worry, they asked Gwyneth Paltrow to account for their controversial decision. Enlighten us, Gwynnie!

• Gwyneth Paltrow's latest goal? To get Mario Batali to lose weight, apparently. She's supposedly already given him a free membership to the gym she's opening with Tracy Anderson, since he's "the only fat friend she has, and wants him to change." [P6]
• Poor Jennifer Aniston has been "holed up" in her room at the Greenwich Hotel since arriving in New York a few weeks ago, supposedly because she's terrified of "bumping into Angie" on the street. [L&S]
• Michael Phelps and Miss California, Carrie Prejean. are apparently dating, or at least that's what Prejean's grandmother is saying. [NYDN]
• In an interview with Ellen DeGeneres, Lindsay Lohan says she's "still in love" with Sam Ronson, and that their breakup "came out of nowhere." She's also lost a lot of weight, which you've probably already noticed. [OK!, People, NYDN]
• Tim Gunn says he hasn't been on a date in 26 years, but that he's okay with it because he's "very happy being alone." [NYDN]

More bad news for Kelly Bensimon. A socialite gets engaged, and an actress turns 30. Plus the requisite Jennifer Aniston sadness news and word of Madonna's continued disgraces.

• It looks like Bethenny Frankel will be staying single a little while longer. A day after she and A-Rod were spotted on a "date" at a steakhouse in Florida, the Yankee was seen "canoodling" with a "trashy blond girl" at the Delano. Oh, well. [NYDN]
• It's official: Heidi Klum is with child. [Us]
• Good news for Jesus Luz: Not only is he back together with Madonna, he's booked Dolce & Gabbana's next campaign, too. [WWD]
• Estée Lauder CEO William Lauder says he's not paying his baby mama Taylor Stein the $500k a year she was promised because she violated their confidentiality agreement. Her lawyer says it was actually William's wife Karen who leaked word of the baby to the press. [NYP]

Kevin Spacey can't go shoe shopping without hanging out in secret back rooms; Madonna can't get rid of her boy toy and Gwyneth Paltrow can't keep secrets.

The quickest way to land a book deal? Become besties with Gwyneth Paltrow, obviously! A month after Gwynnie's bikini waxer inked a deal with Penguin Books. Now comes word that Tracy Anderson, the personal trainer Paltrow shares with Madonna, has landed a six-figure deal of her own with Grand Central Publishing. So if you can't afford the $900 a month membership fees to Tracy's gym, or even the $200 workout sessions she's offering at a depressing Midtown hotel, you'll be able to take advantage of her wisdom in a slim, paperback volume. Best of all, you won't need to exercise your body or your brain doing it.

• You didn't think Eliot Spitzer was planning to stay out of the spotlight forever, did you? Rumor has it the disgraced ex-governor is hoping to get his old job back as attorney general once Andrew Cuomo runs for governor in 2010. [P6]
• Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn have filed for divorce after 28 years of marriage, reportedly because Mel has been involved with a Russian singer named Oksana Kolesnikova. [NYP, OK!]
• Madonna's PR offensive continues: Not only is she hoping to win hearts and minds in Malawi by releasing pics of herself holding baby Mercy in her arms, she also has had her former nanny talking up her parenting skills to any reporter willing to listen. [DM, MSNBC]
• Uh oh! Rumor has it Gwyneth Paltrow is planning to spawn again. [Sun]

• Gwyneth Paltrow's efforts to redeem her good name continue, it seems: She's clearing out her closet for spring and auctioning off the items on eBay. Proceeds from the sale of her Jimmy Choo heels and Valentino handbags benefit the Robin Hood Foundation. [GOOP, SW]
• Victoria's Secret is facing several new lawsuits over "rash-inducing bras." [NYDN]
• Thanks to the recession, more and more women are turning up to salons for free trainee cuts, not surprisingly. [NYT]
• East 45th Street is "Paul Stuart Way" no longer. [NYP]

It's time to put aside worries about the economy, Iranian nuclear proliferation, and whether Countess Luann de Lesseps will get to keep her title after her divorce, because a national issue of (literally) epic proportions needs explaining: Why are DD-cup bras so much more popular than they used to be? Are boobs getting bigger? Is it the prevalence of implants, the obesity epidemic, hormones in the water supply? Or is it simply that Oprah told women to go get fitted for the right bra size already?

• How much did Topshop's insane publicity blitz cost the company? Let's just say a lot. [FWD]
• It looks like Anne Hathaway won't be Marc Jacobs's next muse after all. "Marc and Annie are good friends, but there are no plans of her appearing in our ads," says the designer's rep. [SW]
• Good news, Roberto Cavalli fans: It seems Just Cavalli won't be disappearing after all. [NYM]
• Gisele wore a John Galliano gown to her bullet-riddled wedding last weekend, just in case you were wondering. [SW]
• For the second time in a week (and despite a bit of backlash the first time around) Oscar de la Renta is still complaining about Michelle Obama's fashion preferences. [WWD, Fashionologie]

What do you do when you're a celebrity trainer who can't find clients willing to pony up $900 a month to join your new downtown gym? Head to the Marriott Marquis, apparently. Tracy Anderson, the woman who takes credit for Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow's buff bods and Scarlett Johansson's newly svelte frame, will be holding two classes there this month, charging $200 for a three-hour workout and one-hour Q&A session. Anderson isn't promising any of her famous clients will show up, but that probably won't deter any of the people staying at the hotel, who likely booked the Marriott Marquis because they were under the impression they'd be situated in the hottest nabe in NYC. [NYO]

• Is it finally over between Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson? Her mom and sister certainly hope so: The two were spotted with Sam at a police station yesterday to "look into filing a restraining order" against Lindsay, although LiLo appears to still be in denial, telling E! that they're just taking a "brief break." [Us, E!]
• Madonna was crushed to learn her adoption petition had been rejected by a judge in Malawi—"I can't believe I'm leaving my beautiful baby behind"—but baby Mercy's uncle is now supporting her appeal, for whatever that's worth. [MSNBC, Sun]
• CNN's Campbell Brown had a baby boy yesterday. [HuffPo]
• Who does Scarlett Johansson have to thank for her new bod? Gwyneth Paltrow, apparently, since she reportedly introduced Scarlett to her trainer Tracy Anderson who put her on a "rigid diet." [Sun]

So who put Scarlett Johansson on that strict diet that reduced the starlet to a shadow of her former self? Gwyneth Paltrow, the noted medical expert who last year hallucinated from undereating.

In these dark times, we'll take good news from wherever we can, let alone spectacular news like this. Basically, any guilt you were harboring about not having been to the gym since the beginning of the new year you can replace with smugness, because scientists now say that exercise isn't going to make you thin. In fact, it might even make you fat! "Your appetite goes up when you start to exercise," according to one physiologist. "Your body is telling you it needs more calories, so you eat more."

• And you were thinking Naomi Campbell was devoid of sympathy and compassion. The supermodel has been all over Mumbai's Lakmé Fashion Week, where she's raising money for victims of last year's terrorist attacks. [SF]
• Vera Wang's Lavender label may be in trouble now that Bergdorf Goodman and Saks Fifth Avenue appear to be dropping the line for spring. [NYM]
• Sketches of Gwyneth Paltrow's collection with French label ZOEtee—"a mélange of Seventies glamour, rock inspiration and men's casual suiting"—are now available for your viewing pleasure. [WWD]
• Anna Wintour was in Miami to see Roger Federer this past weekend. [FWD]

Poor Gwyneth Paltrow: We can scarcely imagine how trying it must be to accept that ever since she won an Oscar ten years ago, the world has been increasingly remiss in validating her admirably high self-esteem. Her website, Goop.com, whose sole aim was "to put good things into the world," was widely misconstrued as the out-of-touch ramblings of a narcissist, and then with the release of one of the few films she's deigned to make recently, Two Lovers, all people could talk about was her co-star Joaquin Phoenix going nuts instead of her bravura performance. So how to rehabilitate the unjustly devalued Paltrow brand? Duh, a clothing line, of course! It's a collaboration with Parisian brand ZOEtee and even better, the proceeds are going to a children's charity. No one could possibly find anything to criticize about that, could they?