Tonight, Jon Stewart noted that the city of Tulsa, Oklahoma changed the name of its winter parade to include "Holiday" instead of "Christmas." Then, he played a disturbingly comical video of Fox News' Gretchen Carlson's outrage over the name change.

Remember when Laura Ingraham and very serious journalist, Gretchen Carlson, had a spastic dance-off on national television last month? Well, now Fox & Friends aired a video with Laura and Gretchen's faces superimposed onto, for some reason, break-dancing elves.

Oh Fox & Friends, you never fail us. Recently, lemon-scented floor mop Gretchen Carlson invited a little boy and his father on to discuss the child's near-death experience and how, the kid claims, he went to heaven and saw God.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter, Katherine, was on Fox & Friends to discuss her new book about young girls with body issues or something. Here we see Gretchen Carlson admit to her chubby past, placing blame on innocent donuts.

It's the Year of the Pitcher because no one is on steroids anymore. Duh, you're welcome America. Problem solved. Sincerely, Fox and Friends.

On this morning's Fox & Friends, a new political party capture the hearts of the hosts. Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy, and Gretchen Carlson seem ready to throw all their support behind the recently-founded Romanian Hot Party.

The Helena, Montana school board got an earful yesterday about proposed changes to its sex education program, including—gasp!—telling children that gay people exist. Naturally, Bill O'Reilly and Gretchen Carlson will have NONE OF THAT. The facepalm-inducing video, inside.

On this morning's Fox and Friends, the gang discussed what being President really means. When giving her two cents, Gretchen Carlson looked at the executive office and thought it similar to her job.

The Friends are skeptical of climate change and more or less disapprove of the planet as a whole, so they're celebrating Earth Day the only way they know how- by jabbering stream-of-consciousness-style about money and race.
Apologies for using an Arrested Development reference on these morons.

This morning, Howard Stern challenged Fox News' Megyn Kelly, host of American Live, to play Marry, Fuck, Kill with a triumvirate of Fox News blowhards: Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity. Talk about a rock and a hard place.

Can Raquel Welch be the next Betty White, please? First Martha Stewart, now Gretchen Carlson- this woman has chemistry with everyone! Despite Doocy caressing her twice, she charms the crap out of Fox and Friends, tears and all.

Today at Gawker.TV, Jerry Seinfeld essentially admits that people don't understand The Marriage Ref, sports mascots behaving very badly, Whoopi Golberg gives her impression of Heidi Montag, and Bradley Cooper dishes about the penis on his neck.

Black market butt implants are never a good thing, but hearing Fox and Friends' Gretchen Carlson say "injected with caulk" is almost worth the tragic hospitalizations. Unlike Regis and Kelly, on Fox, caulk is not a joke.

The theme of this year's Miss America pageant? Cringe-worthy secondhand embarrassment. First, the contestants gave some of the worst introductions ever. EVER. Then, judge Rush Limbaugh was booed. Limbaugh also danced erratically to Lady Gaga's Poker Face. Really. Videos inside.

Oh Fox & Friends, how I've missed you. Today our beloved murmuring crayfish were discussing Sarah Palin's big Fox News debut and Gretchen, whoo-boy-howdy!, sure was impressed with her. She got such tough questions! Like: "Is Nancy Pelosi a kook?"

Gretchen Carlson interviewed Derek Jeter on Fox News yesterday. What a get! She mentioned that Jeter is "the last pure athlete" and that he lives his life "so perfectly," but not that she's married to his agent.

Celebrating Yankee hero Derek Jeter's record-breaking hit last Friday in the family suite: His parents, sister, girlfriend, and...Fox & Friends blondebot Gretchen Carlson. She's married to Jeter's agent. God. Lou Gehrig is crying, from heaven. [Click to enlarge. Thanks, W!]

Gretchen Carlson knows that not agreeing with "facts" is an American Right. Nancy Pelosi wants to destroy that right, by calling for reasoned, informed debate instead of red-faced shouting. What would Paul Giamatti do?

On Fox's Romper Room and Friends this morning, Glenn Beck said we should all probably save the nation with the power of prayer.

Oh goodness. I'd hoped for a good clip to end my Fox & Friends "coverage", and the video team has delivered. Today the pompadoured earwigs were discussing America-hating Bill Maher. Why doesn't he leave and go to France?