According to Vanity Fair, the settlement over Gretchen Carlson’s sexual harassment lawsuit against former Fox News CEO Roger Ailes will likely end up in the “eight figures” range due to concerns at Fox that audio tapes of Ailes speaking to “multiple women” could become part of a public trial.

News Corp CEO Rupert Murdoch and his two large adult sons, James and Lachlan, have decided that Roger Ailes must be dethroned from their company’s most consistent cash cow. Almost exactly one week after former Fox News host Gretchen Carlson hit CEO Roger Ailes with a sexual harassment lawsuit, Gabriel Sherman of New York magazine reports that the Murdochs arrived at their decision after “reviewing the initial findings of the [internal] probe” into Carlson’s allegations:

On Tuesday, Fox News correspondent Geraldo Rivera took to social media to challenge allegations that CEO Roger Ailes sexually harassed former host Gretchen Carlson and six other women, likening his sometime boss’ personal demeanor to the bear that attacked Leonardo DiCaprio in that movie.

On Wednesday, former Fox News co-host Gretchen Carlson’s attorneys filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Fox News chairman Roger Ailes, who immediately denied the allegations, calling them “offensive and “defamatory.”

Last night, Roger Ailes officially denied former Fox News host Gretchen Carlson’s claims of “severe and pervasive sexual harassment,” with Ailes calling the suit “offensive” and “wholly without merit.” The content Ailes sees fit to air, however, tells a different story.

Fox News CEO Roger Ailes is publicly rebuking former Fox News host Gretchen Carlson just hours after her attorneys filed an eight-page sexual harassment lawsuit against him in New Jersey. In a statement sent to multiple news outlets, Ailes called Carlson’s unsettling allegations “offensive” and “defamatory”:

Small update on Gretchen Carlson’s sexual harassment lawsuit against Fox News CEO Roger Ailes, via CNN: “In the hours since the lawsuit was announced, ‘at least ten’ other women have contacted [Carlson’s attorneys], wanting to speak about Ailes’ treatment, according to a spokesman for the firm.”

Gretchen Carlson, the former co-host of Fox News’ morning variety hour Fox & Friends, has filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against the network’s founder and powerful CEO, Roger Ailes. In it, Carlson’s attorneys allege that Ailes repeatedly made sexual advances on Carlson, and retaliated against her when she rebuffed them, culminating in her firing on June 23 of this year.

Over the weekend, Americans were shocked to discover that one of the women they trust to deliver their morning news has, for time unknown, been delivering something else, in secret: poops, to a toilet in a far flung part of her office where she thought no one would catch her.

Red alert in the War on Christmas: An elementary school in Stockton, California has banned poinsettias. Also, worshiping Santa Claus, and other holiday deities. The only appropriate response to this is that of Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade: "Who doesn't pray to Santa Claus?"

Clown-hued shriek monster Gretchen Carlson was on tonight's Factor, where she and Bill O'Reilly battled each other for the title of commander-in-chief of the war on the secular War on Christmas. "Just this week, Santa was thrown out of a cancer center in South Carolina. Santa!" said Carlson, apparently unaware of the fact that Santa isn't in the Bible. Then O'Reilly said he would take down companies who ban their employees from saying "Merry Christmas," because JESUS. A clip of the segment is above.

This morning on bad idea ball pit Fox & Friends, the melting Crisco sculpture known as Gretchen Carlson got outraged over a new program that requires "translation assistance" for the non-English speaking parents of Cleveland public school students. Boy was she mad!

This morning the clown-wigged sea snakes of Fox & Friends shifted from Christmas to Halloween, discussing some school principals who are waging war on school-time Halloween festivities. The sad outrage of it all!

Another day, another bit of time spent with the dilapidated horseshoe crabs over at Fox & Friends. Once again they were discussing this curious thing called Occupy Wall Street and today they focused on how these weirdos feed themselves.

The wheezing gophers over at Fox News' Fox & Friends spent a good deal of time this morning talking about the Occupy Wall Street protests, and then, as a service, decided to "give us a flavor" of just who's doin' this crazy thing.

The chuckling cheeseburgers at Fox & Friends broached the topic of Chaz Bono, who injured his knee on Dancing with the Stars. All three hosts cringe at the mention of Chaz's name.

The irradiated mealworms on Fox News' morning gab show Fox & Friends were talking about that free-falling satellite today and in doing so exposed a sad insecurity. They think we wish them ill!

The human buoys over at Fox News' morning brain drain Fox & Friends were doing a little of this earlier today and discussing an educational video shown to kids by the Department of Education in which beloved character SpongeBob Squarepants learns about human-made global warming.

Betty White appeared on Fox and Friends this morning to discuss her show, Regis' retirement, Robert Redford and taking over Live after firing Kelly Ripa. The interview made Fox and Friends almost watchable for a brief 10 minutes.

The European Union sent out a school calendar that mysteriously omitted every Christian holiday. They claim this was a mistake and they just forgot, but Gretchen Carlson isn't buying it one bit.