Here's a screenshot taken from the website of the Herman Cain PAC, which is "Making the American ...... DREAM COME TRUE" by blogging that Cain accuser Karen Kraushaar is an "ugly," "gross" "b1tch," and that other Cain accuser Sharon Bialek is a "fat bimbo."

Here's an interesting way to rally opposition to a ballot proposition that would allow for same-day voter registration: convince voters that it's being pushed by gay activists and their pro-gay agenda.

Florida's anthropology-hating android-governor Rick Scott, who is not cool in any way, recently stopped by the Port of Miami to hang out on a cruise ship and pretend to do somebody else's job for a few minutes, again. Rick Scott creates jobs ... for Rick Scott!

Does C. Stephen Eckel's artistically rendered penis—which, until recently, one could view on his website—makes him unfit to serve Rochester, N.Y. as a county legislator? Republicans who live in his area certainly believe so! They keep all of their sepia-toned naked self-portraits to themselves.

In a brand-new blockbuster ad—titled "High Tech Lynching," in a nod to legendary American victim-of-libruls Clarence Thomas—supporters of Ann Coulter Academy of Superior Blackness graduate Herman Cain rail against all the imaginary sexual harassment allegations their man has been facing in the wake of lying litigant-to-be(?) Politico's lie-filled reports.

Hey there, African-Americans! Did you know there's a whole political party devoted more or less entirely to increasing the wealth of the richest people in the country by preying on the racism of middle- and working-class white folks? And if that doesn't convince you to vote for Republicans, what about these snazzy billboards?

Today's edition of Parade magazine features an interview with Republican presidential candidate/sultan of Texas Rick Perry, who says he went out to dinner with bloviating birther Donald Trump and now isn't totally sure if President Barack Obama was born in Hawaii or Kenya or on Mercury or what. Donald Trump is that persuasive.

Another day, another weird sex-related news story starring a Republican politician from New Jersey. Today's installment stars Medford mayor and one-time Congressional candidate Chris Myers, who allegedly has a thing for blue Calvin Klein underpants and also rentboys—though maybe not, because have you heard about the nefarious things people do with this Photoshop computer-program stuff?

New Jersey state senate candidate Phil Mitsch knows just what America needs to get his awful state back on track: tax reductions, something called "mandatory mortgage loan modifications on at risk residential properties," and more cooperation from the ladies. "Women, you increase your odds of keeping your men by being faithful, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom," he recently tweeted.

The Republican National Committee is joining in with the right-wing bloggers who have sought to paint the Occupy Wall Street protesters as an anti-Semitic mob, condemning Democrats who it says "have spent the last week championing the ‘Occupy Wall Street' movement, yet in the midst of protestors' extreme anti-Semitic, anti-Israel comments, they've been silent."

The 432nd Republican debate starts at 8 p.m. on CNN and if you're anything like us you'll need someone to commiserate with as you Google "moving abroad" and "living abroad" and "are there Republicans in Montenegro." So come hang out in the comments section!

As we mentioned earlier, right-wing hitman James O'Keefe was spotted lurking at the Occupy Wall Street protest in Manhattan's Liberty Plaza today. That might not be good news for O'Keefe, since he's on probation and requires the permission of a federal magistrate judge to leave his home state of New Jersey. And guess what? To judge by his court file, he never got permission. Oops.

President of Pizza and Pokemon Herman Cain won today's straw poll of Florida GOP activists, receiving 37 percent of the votes cast. That's 22 more percentage points than second-place finisher Rick Perry received. For his prize, Cain got to ban a mosque.

Wolf Blitzer is "watching very closely" in Tampa, Florida tonight as he moderates a CNN/Tea Party debate between the remaining Republican presidential candidates. On the topic of healthcare, Blitzer asked Congressman Ron Paul what he'd do if an otherwise healthy 30-year-old man without health insurance needed six months of intensive care to survive: "Are you saying that society should just let him die?"

Noted Islamophobe Allen West must not own a television or a computer. Yesterday, West was stirring up one of 2010's dumbest controversies at an anti-Ground Zero Mosque meet-and-greet in DC, where he remarked, "We must never let events like Pearl Harbor or 9/11 go away. We must never forget the things that happened on those two days..." Call me crazy, but I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.

"Undermining Americans' belief in their own institutions of self-government remains a prime GOP electoral strategy." — Mike Lofgren, a Republican congressional staffer for 28 years, retired in June. He does not think much of the current incarnation of his party.

Puerto Rico Sen. Roberto Arango resigned last night following a sex scandal involving images from his profile on gay hook-up site Grindr.

Ever wonder who is behind all of this "creeping Sharia" bullshit? Hint: It's well organized machine made up of a bunch of rich, ignorant, right wing assholes with nothing better to do.

Possibly peaked Michele Bachmann has been hanging out in Florida sandwich shops these past few days to talk about how she might change the $7.25-an-hour federal minimum wage, if she becomes president. She'd impose living wages for everyone—especially sandwich shop workers!

GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann says the reason why she confuses Elvis Presley's birthday with his death day, and Russia for the Soviet Union, and herself with John Wayne Gacy when she means John Wayne—John Wayne, guys—is because "when you speak six times a day, slip-ups can occur."