The deep imprint left upon the television landscape by seminal 1980s osteoporotic sitcom The Golden Girls is indisputable: Swap in some Cosmos for a cheesecake, you're looking at a post-menopausal Sex and the City; add an angry lesbian and some Hot Topics, The View. Not surprisingly, the series carries with it a fanatical following, comprised mainly of gay men of a certain age, and no one else. Many of them showed up at Book Soup last night to hear Rue "Blanche" McClanahan read and sign from her new autobiography. A Defamer operative reports from the scene:

In the grand tradition of Lindsay Lohan's Gore-entreating, fully adequite call to arms, and Courtney Love's 53 New Year's Resolutions Towards a Less Demon-Plagued Me, comes yet another worthy addition to the canon of incomprehensible celebrity manifestos. This time, the author is Lost casualty and repeat DUI offender Michelle Rodriguez, who responds on her website forum to lesbian magazine Curve for outing her based on "their own suspicions." Well, despite Kristanna Loken's unsubtle hints in the past that the two had been shacking up, it's simply not so, says Rodriguez. We think:

Embattled Grey's Anatomy actor Isaiah Washington may have appeared to have mostly recovered from his rageoholic ways as he gawked sweetly at swollen testicles on a recent episode (ABC's claiming it was the guy's head, but—paging Dr. McFreudy—we still see a pair of hairy cantaloupes), but apparently his gayhab work is not yet done:

Last week, Heroes co-EP Bryan Fuller said in an interview that the character of Zach (actor Thomas Dekker) was supposed to have come out as a gay teen, but that his management, concerned that it might affect his casting as young John Connor in a Terminator TV series, balked at the prospect and pulled him from the show. A Defamer reader forwarded us Dekker's own response to the controversy, posted in a MySpace bulletin. An excerpt:

As far as we're concerned, as soon as any penis-bearing young adult sets foot on the American Idol stage, they're instantly classified a Gay, regardless of sexual inclination. But Season 6 breakout star Sanjaya Malakar was more than just a Gay to us: He was a no-talent Gay with almost supernaturally versatile hair. As it turns out, however, Sanjaya is actually a 100% red-blooded heterosexual male, trapped in the body of an extremely gay-seeming teenager:

It's been a full decade since 90's sitcom staple Ellen did the nearly unthinkable, outing its star and protagonist to the world as co-stars Joely Fisher and a husky, pre-laser-depilated Jeremy Piven were left to pick up the lesbian-punchline pieces. The groundbreaking two-parter co-starred Laura Dern as Ellen's romantic interest. Sadly, their climactic liplock would also turn out to be the kiss of career death:

Many were confounded by the character of Zach on Heroes, the cheerleader's best friend who seemed to be inching out of the closet, but who abruptly disappeared from the series without ever uttering the magic words. After Elton then elicited an official statement from NBC saying he was "not gay," leaving the world scratching their heads at what straight guy would list Priscilla Queen of the Desert as his favorite movie on his fake MySpace page, to say nothing of accompanying the homecoming queen to prom without once ever trying to get all up in her taffeta. Talking to the PopGurls blog, co-EP Bryan Fuller explains the behind-the-scenes power struggle that led to the last minute straightwashing of the popular character:

Neil Patrick Harris appeared on Ellen today, the platform of choice for recently self-outed TV stars looking to get something gay-related off their chests. He explained how his pronouncement came directly out of his desire to circumvent a gathering "witch-hunt" after a gossip item about he and his boyfriend led to a huffy denial from a publicist that he was "not of that persuasion." From the People.com report:

In a disturbing career development that will require Grey's Anatomy set menace Isaiah Washington to tap into deep pockets of rage not already neutralized by a stint in gayhab, the actor has been cast in an independent film as a priest haunted by childhood sexual abuse. It's a role he won, ironically, when the filmmaker heard he was having trouble finding parts since the T.R. Knight controversy:

Once again, the Defamer Correspondent for Anti-Defamatory Awards Shows managed to infiltrate the turreted pink fortress that is the L.A. edition of the annual GLAAD media awards (who says scouring Craigslist at the last minute for dateless and desperate velvet mafioso is a fruitless endeavor?), and brings us yet another exhaustive report from the awards banquet sometimes referred to as the "the Gay Gay Superbowl." We now deliver you to his capable hands:

The L.A. edition of GLAAD's annual media awards were held Saturday night, when the anti-defamation organization with the poorly camouflaged hard-on for Hollywood can finally indulge a year's worth of celebrity reacharound fantasies, honoring the wonderful visibility-related work being done by famous Gays and Gay-Friendlies of every letter-designated caste. A round-up:
· Recovering slur victim T.R. Knight opened the ceremonies, telling the gathered crowd, "I am angry at the inequality we face every day. I hope to turn my anger into action." He then encouraged the audience to "imagine that eclair in front of you is Isaiah Washington," and instructed them to attack the pastry accordingly with their dessert forks. [AfterElton]
· Knight later responded to reporters' questions about how things have been between him and gayhabbed co-star Isaiah Washington behind the scenes at Grey's Anatomy (which, ironically, took the outstanding individual episode award), Knight evasively replied, "I just focus on doing the work. That's my job; that's what I'm paid for; and I think that's enough." [AccessHollywood] [CBSNews.com]

Defamer readers might recall a post from late last July regarding a NY Daily News sighting, which put Most Powerful Gay in the Universe David Geffen on the arm of Seann William Scott, aka That Dude Who Managed To Spin Stiffler Into A Reasonably Successful Movie Career That Peaked Two Years Ago, at an L.A. gay bar. A mere nine months later, Page Six is happy to offer the real scoop on the actor, with a clarifying item that doesn't at all feel like a publicist-planted tip about the hyper-heterosexual, Victoria's Secret-model-fucking habits of their not at all gay—but entirely comfortable with the concept!—client:

For a reality series set in the not-exactly-profound world of an L.A.-based private gym, Bravo's Workout manages to pack quite a bit into every episode, with omnipresent cameras capturing the exploits of its cast of personal trainers—a diverse group with passionate opinions on topics spanning the gamut from effective crunch techniques to unflattering tanktop cuts. But viewers last night were treated to more than we have ever seen of sexually insatiable Queen Bee Jackie Warner, who remains distressingly oblivious to the zooming lens just inches away capturing her every sapphic seduction. (Watch her go in for the kill here, after a little mood-enhancing bubbly and Chihuahua-assisted foreplay.) She describes her own reaction to the episode on her blog:

We hate to so soon dip back into the bottomless, celebrity-contaminated well that is Bravo executive Andy Cohen's blog, but when every post reads like the conspiratorial oversharing of your almost inconceivably better-connected best friend over a lunch of chopped Cobb, can you really blame us? The appeal isn't in his mere relentless name-dropping; rather, it's the utter randomness of the combination of those names, placed into the gayest environments known to Man, that makes for riveting reading. Take, for example, today's post, in which rainbow beams practically explode from Andy's fingertips as he recounts his experience attending a Diana Ross concert as the guest of unlikely member of the Bravo star stable, Inside the Actors Studio host James Lipton:

Before you jump out of your seats to call Photoshop foul on this heartwarming candid of Timberlakian Idol finalists Blake Lewis and Chris Richardson snuggling up backstage as co-contestant Sanjaya Malakar lurked just feet away, lustily soaking in every boy-on-boy caress from behind a massive pair of bug-eyed Christian Dior sunglasses, a keen-eyed Towleroad reader has already spotted the original on a wire photo site. (Just kidding! Here's the real, unaltered image.) Still, we were impressed enough with the quality of this specimen to share it with our readers, to say nothing of its implied tenderness; the slash-Photoshop-fic artist could have easily gone the hardcore route, as did the author of that other tampered Idol image currently circulating the internets, of Melinda Doolittle as a latex-clad dominatrix disciplining a naked, ball-gagged Ryan Seacrest. (At least we think it was tampered.)

• I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry [YouTube]

Congratulations are in order for Velvet Mafia don David Geffen, whom Out magazine has named the Most Powerful Gay in the Universe, a title he will likely hold until the day his lifeless body is buried beneath the Carbon Beach sand he so dearly loves. NY Magazine has reproduced Out's entire Power 50 list, which includes Hollywood Gays of Note (we're ignoring the ones from less interesting industries) from the diverse worlds of talk-show hosting (#3 Ellen DeGeneres and #6 Rosie O'Donnell), superproducing (#18 Scott Rudin), evil agenting (#31 Bryan Lourd of CAA), superhero-movie directing (#32 Bryan Singer), soap-opera writing (#40 Marc Cherry), and glass-closeted Oscar-collecting (#43 Jodie Foster). All lower-charting Power Gays should immediately submit their full-page tributes in the trades recognizing Geffen's achievement before inventory sells out; those shut out because they waited too long will undoubtedly be subject to the DreamWorks mogul's bloody reprisals for their failure to publicly pledge their fealty in a timely fashion.

After weathering a flatly written exchange in which Aniston's lesbian character tells Cox, "This is no way to live! You don't deserve to be alone," (oh, the bitter irony), then some innuendo about past dalliances between the characters (four implied times!), and one brushed off ass-grab (easy there, lesbian tiger), we finally get the kiss: A closed mouth cutaway unlikely to moisten the panties of even the show's most incontinent viewers. Have a look, trying not to sigh too loudly over this squandered opportunity to exploit ten seasons' worth of crackling, Sapphic sexual tension.

The GLAAD media awards, presented tonight in New York, have come under fire this year for a controversial policy that excludes gay media outlets, such as gay-targeted cable networks like Logo and Here, in favor of "mainstream" ones—amazingly, even networks with a majority of gay-themed programming, like Bravo and ESPN. Their reasoning is that those general interest networks go further towards furthering the gay agenda recognizing positive portrayals of gays and lesbians in the media. Never at a shortage of an opinion on anything, blogging Bravo exec Andy Cohen—whose network, purely coincidentally, is up for three awards—sees no problem with the policy:

We've often suspected Ryan Seacrest didn't exist at all—that the ubiquitous, blockheaded munchkin and budding media mogul was actually just a series of perfectly rendered holograms, projected by a billion-years-old, crystal-based alien society, and sent to sedate the species in anticipation of their impending, hostile descent. Just something to think about. Another topic for discussion: Is he a Gay? Certainly, the evidence would seem to point that way. Reasonably priced celebrity news source InTouch Weekly finally puts the question to you, internet citizens, with a poll that offers zero room for hedging or compromise (i.e. you can't vote "I don't know" or "I think he likes the pole and the hole!").