On The View this morning, Outed-Stars-Of-American Idol's Rights crusader Rosie O'Donnell continued the campaign she began when she lambasted Kelly Ripa for her "homophobic" remarks about rumored fisting-enthusiast Clay Aiken's hands with her thoughts on the all-boy catfight heard round the world last night. (In case you missed it, Simon Cowell urged Ryan Seacrest to emerge from the closet, hinting that their recent mercy-mission might have been the lustiest safari tryst since Robert Redford wooed Meryl Streep in Out Of Africa.) The evidence that Seacrest might be batting for the West Hollywood Powerbottoms is rather compelling, particularly after viewing this Gawker montage of some of the finest pec-carressing moments of his career. Then again, there is evidence pointing to the contrary—particularly this clip of Seacrest modeling Scooby Doo Boxers, something no self-respecting Gay would ever be caught dead in.

Unlike fellow pretty-faced, effeminate American Idol top 12 finalist Sanjaya Malakar, Mario Vazquez legitimately seemed to belong there two seasons ago, and he shocked the world by pulling out just days before they were about to compete, citing "family reasons." Now, a scandalous lawsuit brought against the singer, FOX Entertainment, and Fremantle Media accuses Vazquez of having "sexually harrassed" the show's assistant accountant:

Stunningly, The Other Side of Aspen IV: The Rescue—the seminal male-bonding adventure story and thematic predecessor to reigning Hollywood blockbuster 300—was released way back in 1995, anticipating by over a decade the eerily parallel series of perilous events that would befall several popular actors at the same snowbound locale. Interest in the discontinued title has understandably skyrocketed since word has spread about their rescue by Aspen Ski Patrol's hunky, ripped finest, and so we anticipate it won't be long before a commemorative edition soon hits your local Circus of Books shelves, with newly rechristened stars Chad Blowe, Gusher Stevens, and Rod Burrow.

As the former head writer for Dawson's Creek, Greg Berlanti is probably a fountain of insights into whatever led a pre-assimilated Katie Holmes to ditch her once promising career for a life of home-imprisonment and engineered-child rearing. AfterElton recently interviewed the openly gay Brothers and Sisters EP, but instead chose to focus on the show's matter-of-fact approach to gay content. And to what can we attribute those refreshingly frank, four-way conference calls in which the titular siblings gossip candidly about their gay brother's recent one-night stand? Why, the mere fact that the really gay-sounding dude who used to answer the phones at ABC back in '97 is now their VP of Drama Development:

An operative who attended last night's Oscar viewing party and fundraiser at The Abbey sends in this report, where television's Ghost Whisperer demonstrated an aloofness and general lack of Oscars spirit that set hundreds of Gay Whisperers' tongues wagging, while Joe "I Will Trade You This Fine Girls Gone Wild T-Shirt For a Lifetime Of Shame And Humiliation" Francis impressively demonstrated how he he can find eager female (at least they looked female) companionship anywhere—even at WeHo's premiere sausage factory:

Kenny Chesney is widely credited with starting the "overly-groomed country radio guy of indeterminate sexuality that no one has ever really heard of marrying A-list Hollywood actress" trend currently sweeping the industry. He recently told 60 Minutes (in an upcoming, very special, "We Have Officially Run Out of Interview Subjects" episode), that the "fraud" Renee Zellweger listed as the reason she requested an annulment after four months of marriage to him had nothing to do with any lack on his part of a healthy appetite for the ladies:

Katherine Heigl's on-camera admonition of rage-prone Grey's Anatomy co-star Isaiah Washington backstage at the Golden Globes was the scold her 'round the world, and led directly to the actor checking himself into a career-salvaging stint in gayhab. The actress appeared on Good Morning America this morning, where she described a cautious optimism among her fellow cast members that things seem to be returning back to normal since Dr. McPlays-Well-With-Othersy returned:

According to an AP inquest into the State of Hollywood Gays, audiences have reacted to the news of recent celebrity outings with little more than a dismissive shrug—at least if their shows' fan boards are to be any indication, where announcements of the "OMG! George and Callie eloped!!! They are gonna have the cutest baybiez!!! :D"-variety are in no short supply. But despite America's casual attitude to the heterollusionist stars of their favorite programs, out actors still must contend with the final Gay Hollywood frontier: The casting director community, for whom decades of institutionalized self-hating have conditioned them to immediately redirect all Gays' headshots to the wire bin marked "Misc. florist/dog groomer/hairdresser parts":

Apparently GLAAD—the self-appointed spokespeople of the swishy bacon, lettuce and tomato loving set run by the totally hot former mayor of America's other armpit, Tempe, Arizona—announced their "Media Awards" nominees at Sundance. It seems there were no Manhattan gays at Sundance, so none of us back in the real world ever heard about it in the intervening week since.

With his elective stint at gayhab nearly complete, it looks as if rageoholic Isaiah Washington's Dark Night of the Gay-Bullying Soul will finally see dawn, as People is reporting the actor is scheduled to return to set Thursday with a sound body, clear mind, and taking his newfound slur-sobriety one day at a time:

While his Grey's Anatomy co-star Isaiah Washington is currently excising his bullying demons in a 28-day gay-rage detoxification program, an unnamed "source" tells The Scoop that Ellen-tattling slur-victim T.R. Knight is still so incensed over the way the events were handled, he's plotting to depart the hit series:

As ABC lawyers continue to pore through the "Legitimate Grounds for Shitcanning" paragraph in Isaiah Washington's contract, the disgraced Grey's Anatomy actor with the well-documented prejudice against Hollywood's hard-working sodomites has been taking every possible measure to save his job reach across sexual preference lines to make amends. Washington fired his longtime publicist Cynthia Snyder, presumably for her failure to stuff a cocktail napkin into his mouth before the fatal slur could re-emerge; in her place he hired Kelly "I managed to get the world to stop talking about R. Kelly peeing on a 14-year-old and start talking about 'Trapped in a Closet!'" Mullens and her partner in damage control crime, Allen Mayer. First order of business: Getting Washington into a roomful of Gays. Reports the AP:

· Neil Patrick "other out gay actor on a network TV series" Harris, who recently stood alongside noted pink F-bomb detonator Isaiah Washington while announcing the People's Choice Award nominations sans gay-slur incident, weighed in with his thoughts on the matter: "I was just sort of stunned that anyone would want to rehash any of that again. But I think the people, the classier people, handled it as they always do." In case you're still in the dark, "classy" is the new code for famous gays and their best friend co-stars who offer to beat up their homophobic tormentors on their behalf. [People]
· Ellen DeGeneres focused on the word itself, telling Extra: "This particular word is thrown around all the time at the workplace, at the playground, on the sports field and no one gets outraged. Hopefully this incident will put an end to this and people will stop using this word and other hateful words once and for all." Let's hope the insanity stops here, and that Jorja Fox isn't forced to drop by Ellen to tearfully recount the time Gil Grissom called her a "greedy rugmuncher" upon discovering she ate the last craft service banana. [Extra]
· John Mayer addresses the controversy on his blog today, suggesting the most poetically just penance would be for Washington's Grey's Anatomy character Dr. Preston Burke to "come out to his friends and colleagues as a gay man!!!" (Extra-squealy triple exclamation marks his.) He then proceeds to script how that scene might play out, for what feels like an uncomfortably long, not particularly funny, length of time. [JohnMayer via Towleroad]

With his dream gig on the line, Isaiah Washington appears to have reassessed his position on not hiring a "great shiny publicist" to help him rehabilitate his now tarnished, no-longer-welcome-on- Atlantis-Cruise-Lines image. He released this mea culpa just moments ago:

Despite appeals from gay rights groups to apologize, Isaiah "I love gay" Washington remains stubbornly tight-lipped regarding his use of the word "faggot" to disparage Grey's Anatomy co-star T.R. Knight, a wound reopened when he shouted it again in a denial of the incident to a roomful of reporters at Monday's Golden Globes. ABC brass, realizing they have to say something, has released this preliminary statement on the matter:

• T R Knight [YouTube via Towleroad]

Last night, treading dangerously close to territory we swore never to revisit, Team Party Crash invaded Room Service to pay respects to one Michael Musto. His Village Voice column, "La Dolce Musto," has been Carrie-Bradshawed into a book of the same name, and all manner of gleeful vermin emerged to celebrate. Immersed in a sea of gays, trannies, and highly plasticized women, our editorial assistant Heather and shutterfly Kate endured a two-hour photo op hosted by Perez Hilton and Rosie Perez. Attempts to assuage Musto's Gawker dread were inconclusive. Join H&K in attempting to calculate the combined plastic surgery bill of Amanda Lepore, Joan Rivers, and Ivana Trump. Alternatively, you can try to count Mickey Boardman's sequins, experience the retina-searing horror of Bridget Everett's bare pooper, or check out a little man-love action between Perez Hilton and Gatecrasher's Ben Widdicombe. Proceed at your own risk to the gallery, or engulf Kate's engorged version. A few NSFW traps scattered here and there, so consider yourself warned.

Sorry ladies, but he's off the market. Recovering nicely from his early-1990s bout with heterosexuality, Alan Cumming married boyfriend Grant Shaffer outside London over the weekend. The couple wanted to do the deed in America, but could not because of our prejudicial laws against Broadway actors. Check out the guest list:

In the last couple days, we've asked you to come up with some ways of rewriting ledes so they'd be more Post appropriate, and you responded, in droves. But sometimes a lede is so perfect, in and of itself, that there's really no need to rewrite it. Take, for instance, this story from the Brooklyn Papers, about an upcoming cruise on the Queen Mary 2 with 3,000 gays and lesbians as passengers that's being billed as the "first-ever, full-ship chartered gay cruise." (We'll take their word for it.) You've probably already thought of your own, overly clever lede. But really, why not just go with what the Brooklyn Paper thought of all by themselves:

Prodded perhaps by the electric pink tazer zaps of an increasingly emboldened and networked queer gossip community, a trend has emerged in which noted aspiring-astronaut-boy-band-members and male TV personalities have reluctantly emerged from their anal-retentively organized closets. Not Wentworth Miller, however, who in a recent interview with the Australian AP made it clear that there will be no People magazine covers featuring the Prison Break star under bold yellow letters announcing his enthusiastic appreciation of sex with hot men: