The troops will probably be long gone from Afghanistan before the last Vegas lady cashes her Tiger Woods experience in with the tabloids. Who will run the story as long as there are pretty faces to put on covers.
The President gave some speech about troops in some country. But mainly the Post kills it on the Tiger Woods story. There are puns galore: birdies, sex drive, paws. To steal their line, they're all coming out of the Woodswork!
Even some of the broadsheets can't resist the car-crash/affair/police avoiding story. His driving difficulties, and Iran's threat to carry on a nuclear program, are the big stories today.
Having covered breast healthcare issues all week, the papers move south to other ladyparts today. But forget all that, buy the tabloids, and read about a foot model cast out into the street (almost) for her princess-and-pauper love.
All the papers trumpet the cost of the Senate healthcare bill, released today. It's the dumbest thing they've done in a while (and the Post gave away Madoff's shirts the other day).
The news that Obama can't push China around is the story of the day. The mammograms debate rumbles on, more from the weird world of Michael Jackson, carbon offsetting is a scam and Macbeth, the opera, featuring baboons!
Mammograms is a word that gets stuck in one's head very easily, and "uproar" about them is the only consistent story today. Dictator kids, drug wars and the chance to win Madoff's polo shirts await!
Today the Post columnist opines on the woman who was disfigured by a chimp. See if you can guess in which way she gets it subtly wrong and is slightly enraging to read.
The papers have toured around the world, from London to the Bay, abandoned their slavish devotion to Fort Hood and Afghanistan and come up with a day of fun stories that feature MC Hammer as a fashion icon among others.
First a recession starts and there are a lot of personal recession features. Then everyone gets bored and there are no personal recession stories. Now, they're back! Along with some war, a sad President and more on Fort Hood.
Select from the following: the army a) did know the Fort Hood shooter was radicalized, b) didn't know he was radicalized or c) kind of knew, through a third agency. Alternatively, ignore the whole intelligence mess and read about fishing.
Oops. All the papers report that the FBI failed to act when the Fort Hood shooter emailed a radical cleric 10 or 20 times. Also: swine flu blood shortages! Living on severance! Drug wars! Madoff memorabilia! J-Lo sex tape!
When news of the Fort Hood shooting came in last week, papers covered the breaking story. Now they've had a chance to send reporters out, look what they found!
There were protests in Iran, Toyota lied about dangerous defects, digital readers may dominate the holidays, Italians hate the CIA (and probably America) Mexican druglords take over the US and Europeans politicians rock. Unless you're autistic or a castrato.
