Even some of the broadsheets can't resist the car-crash/affair/police avoiding story. His driving difficulties, and Iran's threat to carry on a nuclear program, are the big stories today.

If you're in the Iranian government you can't do anything without it being a defiant vow, apparently. As endless nuclear threats begin to sound hollow, expect to see 'defiant Iranian minister vows to get parking validated,' or 'Iranian official defiantly vows that if his salad box can be held shut, he has not overfilled it' on the front pages. Tiger Woods must have been hoping for a bigger story to save his bacon and allow his scandal to slip under the radar. Sadly for him, Michael Jackson died already.

The other top stories of the day:

  • The New York Times investigates a high-fashion alligator skin conspiracy.
  • The Washington Post says the Republican party knows it doesn't like Obama, but is a bit confused apart from that.
  • The Wall Street Journal takes a hard-hitting look inside the agony of bagel injuries.
  • And the Post and News duke it out over the Woods story. Spare a thought for the reporters from each paper sat in a car somewhere outside the homes of everyone even tangentially related to the scandal.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: reassures investors in Dubai with a story about the United Arab Emirates offer to shore up banks that operate there. It's not all good news for rich people though — there is scandal in the world of high-fashion alligator skins. The paper either follow up the story last week on swamps in Indonesia releasing lots of carbon dioxide, or they got scooped and decided to repurpose the reporting. The Washington reporters have been busy finding out more about Obama's speech on Afghanistan strategy tomorrow and Iran's threats to build more nuclear plants. The Metro desk meanwhile, have been talking to a lot of angry public school teachers about the growth of charter schools. Also, tiny at the bottom of the page, is a gossipy plug for a Tiger Woods story. You know you're in trouble when the Times can't resist an A1 mention.

The Washington Post: has risen above mentioning the Tiger Woods scandal. It leads with a poll that seeks to find the soul of the Republican party — and instead finds that the two most representative leaders are still Sarah Palin and John McCain. If that groundswell continues they can at least recycle the 2008 posters for 2012. The paper look at the imminent Afghanistan announcement with a story on Pakistan's role in the conflict, and also report Iran's 'vow' to continue a nuclear program. There's a piece on the cost of the healthcare bill and the news that cunning students are opting to start at community college then transfer to prestigious private schools to save money.

The LA Times: by dint of geographic proximity, the LAT leads with the shooting of four police officers in Seattle. They have the biggest broadsheet story about Tiger Woods, and also run pieces on Afghanistan and on Iran's latest threat. Monday is apparently college news day, as there's a story here about UC Irvine offering a video games course. Today's poetic feature effort comes from Egypt — I read about 500 words but the journalist was too busy waxing lyrical to bother saying what it was about.

The Wall Street Journal: leads with the news on efforts to shore up Dubai's struggling economy. Iran makes the front here too. The paper also report the latest corporate strategy for survival in this economy, and the rise of bagel-related injuries.

The New York Post: does it! They finally get a great pun on the front.

The Daily News: parses Woods' statement yesterday and comes up with a sort-of admission of guilt. Inside there's also news that his alleged mistress has sought legal advice from celeb lawyer Gloria Allred. Which doesn't look suspicious at all.

Tampa Bay Times: surely this is a little dramatic? It's kind of a local story for them, but still.

Townsville Bulletin (Australia): adds to news of the woes of crocodile and alligator professionals.