The papers have toured around the world, from London to the Bay, abandoned their slavish devotion to Fort Hood and Afghanistan and come up with a day of fun stories that feature MC Hammer as a fashion icon among others.

After a week of consensus over what the biggest stories were, the papers cut loose a bit today. And it's a lot of fun. The Wall Street Journal continues to maintain a mix of serious business news and the world's most amusing features - MC Hammer pants! Houses without ridiculous jacuzzis! The LA Times have a lead picture that is eerie and captivating at the same time and the Daily News breaks the weirdest celebrity story in a while. And Michael Jackson died this year.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: finally, a hopeful story on Afghanistan. Efforts to rebuff the Taliban and improve lives in one valley could apply to the rest of the country. The rest of the page is back on home soil. People are ignoring drugs proven to deter cancer (drug companies good). Pfizer, however, are leaving a small town they once fought for land in (drug companies bad). The Federal Housing Agency's cash reserves are dwindling, and a new conductor at the Los Angeles Philharmonic is causing people who like that sort of thing to swoon. The latter has the best opening line of the day: "They drew the line at the bobble-head doll." And finally there's a piece following those wounded in the Fort Hood shootings as they rebuild their lives.

The Washington Post: has a picture that may kill thousands. It certainly put me off getting a swine flu shot - the needle is actually in the little boy's arm. Was that necessary? Above this unpleasant injection image is an exclusive: China gave Pakistan uranium for two nuclear weapons in the 80s. After this, and Seymour Hersh's New Yorker piece on similar ground, we can expect to see more on the topic in the coming weeks, I think. Talking of imminent threats: they round up the fervour surrounding Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue. We should all take a moment to appreciate the fact she didn't give into the ridiculous droppin' Gs thing she thinks makes her sound homey and call it Goin' Rogue. The Fed has managed one tiny victory in the battle against banks, White House counsel Gregory B. Craig may resign and Nidal Hasan is charged with 13 counts of murder.

The LA Times: wins the front page picture of the day award. It illustrates a story about cold war-era nuclear contamination tainting Nevada. There's also news that Ah-nuld stopped the state getting federal money for commuter trains, people are spreading the flu by going to work, Obama wants China to buy more things from us and girls in India are resisting young marriages. This story, about the California Milk Advisory Board filming commercials in New Zealand features either the most blatant example of choosing a weird headline word — 'moola' — to fit the space on the page, or the worst joke ever.

The Wall Street Journal: after a couple of days ignoring the Fort Hood shooting on the front page, wisely I think, they lead with the news that Hasan may face the death penalty. They also feature yesterday's settlement between Intel and fellow chip makers AMD. As for the rest of the front page, all I can say is: please editorial staff of the Wall Street Journal, don't hurt 'em - MC Hammer is a fashion icon, and builders don't know what ridiculous things they can leave out of luxury houses.

The New York Post: this stars-do-things-on-film-sets thing must stop. We get it - it looks like they're really doing something weird in real life, but when you read the story it was all for a movie! It was funny the first 377 times. Now you're just tricking everyone.

The Daily News: breaks the strangest and most intriguing celebrity story in a while. Cindy Crawford was blackmailed by a model who was dating their nanny over a weird bondage picture of their eight-year-old daughter. The world is not only weirder than we think, it's weirder than we can think.

Fort Collins Coloradoan: the Heene's local paper goes big on the legal ramifications of their hoax with no fewer than three stories on the topic. Well you would if you were editing, wouldn't you?

China Daily: the big news in America is that Obama is going to China. The big news in China? The weather. And China, somehow, see themselves as like Abraham Lincoln on the Tibetan issue. And they think Obama should back them because he is black and Lincoln helped end slavery. Or something.