The troops will probably be long gone from Afghanistan before the last Vegas lady cashes her Tiger Woods experience in with the tabloids. Who will run the story as long as there are pretty faces to put on covers.

It's becoming increasingly clear that if you're famous and want to cheat you should do it in a boring way. Under no circumstances should you pick a string of money hungry women, leave smutty messages, crash your car, fight with your wife, refuse to speak to police and then top it all off by renegotiating your pre-nup and adding money to the heady mix of sex and violence, as came out today. At this rate the Woods story won't die until about 2030, when we're all flying around with jetpacks and eating food pills.

The other top stories of the day:

  • The New York Times answers the 'what's going to happen in Pakistan' question on the strategy for the region. More drone attacks.
  • The LA Times looks inside the decision to name a deadline for an Afghanistan pullout.
  • The Washington Post meanwhile, takes a look at the other war, you know, the one we forgot, in, um... some middle-eastern country. Definitely starts with 'I'.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: leads with the news that Obama's strategy in Pakistan seems to be more drone attacks. The rest of the news is domestic — Columbia lost an eminent domain battle to expand their campus, there's a new battleground on abortion (which is exactly what we need in the run-up to a healthcare reform vote) and Obama wants to get us all jobs. There is a truly excellent detail in this story about Comcast buying NBC Universal — Disney-ABC president Anne Sweeney insisted her daughter take a TV to college, even though said daughter preferred to watch on the internet. And they're vaccinating cows against e-coli, to stop us getting it from beef.

The Washington Post: remembers the forgotten war — the one the White House press people have successfully made us forget about — with a piece on the withdrawal from Iraq. Senators weren't very nice to Ben Bernanke at his confirmation hearing for a second term as Federal Reserve chairman, but they might be nice to Harry Reid when he tries to get them to vote for healthcare reform. The Comcast/NBC Universal deal gets a look in, and Maryland has decided to be nice to oysters.

The LA Times: takes its turn to run a positive economic story — that the bank bailout is paying off for the government. It's not all good news though, as retail sales are still down. There's a great inside look at the deliberations behind Obama's decision to name a pullout date for Afghanistan and news of potential regulatory problems for the Comcast/NBC Universal deal. Roman Polanski should have faced the music in 1978, instead of running away, and a nice feature about the sporting (and unsporting) rivalry between Dorsey High and Crenshaw High in South LA.

The Wall Street Journal: covers Ben Bernanke's confirmation hearing in the wildly non-diverse Senate. Football, by contrast, is getting more melting pot-like. There's a look at Dubai's woes, which are irresistible to the very same newspapers that reported its rise. And an interesting look at terrorism in Somalia, possibly perpetrated by Al Qaeda.

The New York Post: concentrates on Tiger Woods renegotiating his prenup at great expense. Which seems ridiculous, because then what's the point of a pre-nup. But still.

The Daily News: goes with the same story, but runs a picture of Woods' wife Elin, not his mistress Rachel. As the former is much more attractive and far classier, the tabloid front page award goes to the News.

Post-Tribune: this should be heartwarming, but there is something about this story, and the picture, that is slightly disconcerting. Maybe it's the use of 'only'. Surely he wants something else? Something fun, and childlike and not featuring an octuagenarian pontiff.

Politiken (Denmark): purely for the font.