We should probably preface this by saying that we have nothing against Joplinian (Janis, not Scott) American Idol contestant Amanda Overmeyer. For starters, she's like this bull-dykey, hog-riding, hard-rocking nurse. That's kind of awesome. When she was told she made it to the final 24, she did not dissolve into a weepy puddle of gratitude. Her "thing America doesn't know about me" is that she enjoys the activity of reading (i.e., not communicating with the other mongoloid contestants). And she chose a freaking Kansas song for last night's top ten girls' competition. Watching this performance, however, we couldn't help thinking that Overmeyer was one of those Angel of Death nurses, the song was the patient, and her interpretation was the fatal amount of morphine slipped surreptitiously into an I.V. when no one is looking. R.I.P., "Carry On Wayward Son."

Seemingly unstoppable late night force Jay Leno has already demonstrated that he needs no writers to conquer his time slot: Audiences looking for non-addictive insomnia cures and lovemaking soundtracks clearly prefer Leno's middling presence and chirpy joke-delivery over his more cantankerous competitors. For whatever reason, however, the management at NBC decided four years ago that Leno required an expiration date, unfeelingly stamping the host on the forehead with a "BEST BEFORE 2009" notice, and designating Conan O'Brien as his successor. Now, a full two years before his contract expires, rival networks and studios are unfurling their green, high-currency plumage, and doing the late-night mating dance for the still viable talk show host. The NY Times reports:

Craving a Pink's hot dog, but were hoping to wait until the lines creep up towards Sunset before making the trip? Then you might want to swing by on Friday or Saturday, as Fox has decided to extend the themed lunch promotions that have delighted patrons of the News Café for years (dating right back to their Late Show Starring Joan Rivers pulled pork sandwiches in 1986) to the general public. That's right: "the 'Wieners' Who Brought You There's Something About Mary and Dumb & Dumber" are pleased to provide the first 500 customers to arrive at the landmark tubesteak stand a complimentary "Unhitched Dog," along with your choice of Farrelly Bros.-themed condiments, including tangy There's Something About Mary hair-gel-onnaise. Enjoy!

Week Two of American Idol competition trotted out the boy competitors once more before the Randy/Paula/Simon firing squad, with the ascendancy of teen idol prodigy David Archuleta a seemingly foregone conclusion: Producers left his interpretation of "Imagine" to the end of the broadcast, knowing no one in their right minds would tune out before hearing him sing. He nailed it, and probably the entire season while he was at it, sending a blubbery Paula Abdul on a fruitless quest for the words to express how this 17-year-old wunderkind had restored her faith in humanity. (It came off as something about wanting to rip his head off and hang the bloody trophy from her rear view mirror, though we think her heart was in the right place.) To keep things interesting, however, we thought we'd focus instead on the minor scandals erupting around some of the other contestants. Last year around this time, Antonella Barba toilet photos rocked a nation. This year, so far, the scandals are relegated to the men:

The New York Post this morning puts a total of four reporters on the trail of Lauren Cleri, the bad woman who ruined her husband's life on national television this week by revealing her cheating heart on the Fox show "Moment of Truth." She wasn't that hard to track down, but you need some support in touch and go reporting situations like this. The stunning headline: WIFE: I DID IT FOR THE TV MONEY [NYP]. She's still telling the truth, at least. Cleri said she was surprised at the attention the couple's meltdown in front of 8 million viewers got, because she didn't think they were "going to stand out." Well then. It's hard for her too, you know; a message on her MySpace page (below) trumpets the depth of her despair.

Don't know if anybody caught Fox's new honesty-promoting reality show "Moment of Truth" last night, but if you did, you may still feel a bit dirty. They should go ahead and rename it, "Destroy All You Hold Dear In Exchange For Thousands of Dollars, Then Be Crushed In A Stunning Twist For Our Collective National Amusement." Yea, that's better. In the clip below, our heroine, having already broken her husband's heart with her painful true answers about her lack of love for him, receives her ironic comeuppance. This show would only be justifiable if they put, say, Rupert Murdoch in the chair.

After witnessing the multi-hued splendor of Tuesday's boys' night, last night's all-girl competition on American Idol was something of a letdown, each contestant virtually indistinguishable from the pageant-ready hopeful who came before her. Even Carly Smithson, the focus of some controversy for having already released a major-label album only to see it flop spectacularly, failed to impress an even-ornerier-than-usual Simon Cowell, who diverged from his two articulation-challenged co-judges to (rightfully) observe, "there's so much hype about you...so much expectation...there's a buzz about you...everything about it for me was a letdown."

At long last, the American Idol chaff has been removed (farewell, STG. Farewell, fan-waving hippie. Farewell, toe-tapping girl—or, rather, hello to Defamer's newest celebrity commenter), and we can focus on the unpolished kernels of wheat vying for karaoke's ultimate crown. Only watching the top 12 boys compete last night, we were instantly struck by something: These are some of the gayest wheat-kernels we've ever laid our eyes on!

As many do for the Super Bowl, I find the ads on American Idol more interesting than the show. It's among the priciest prime-time real estate around. Last year, ads cost $600,000 per 30-second spot. So it raised my eyebrows to see Apple purchasing multiple spots for the MacBook Air in tonight's broadcast. I counted two in just the last half-hour. Did Apple shell out more than $1 million for a couple of ads?

Marketwatch media person (and frequent target of Gawker ridicule) Jon Friedman actually wrote a thought that is sorta original and correct and interesting! According to him, MSNBC's ratings may suck, but they "stand out in one underappreciated category: embarrassing, mealy-mouthed apologies." He refers to David Shuster's suspension for his remarks about Chelsea Clinton (ably dissected down to the very last gruesome detail by Rachel Sklar here), which, along with Chris Matthews' half-hearted and partially reversed apology for being insane about Hillary, has MSNBC holding the early lead in the "apologizing to the Clintons" race. Of course, in the overall apology race, Fox did force anchor John Gibson to apologize for laughing it up at the death of Heath Ledger. But he didn't really mean it so that doesn't count. [Marketwatch]

Athlete and sportscaster Josh Booty thought he could drive just fine, even though he was drunk, and then he thought he could take on taser-wielding Orange County Sheriff's deputies, who of course tased him right before he cracked his head. But is it a surprise the 32-year-old thought he was invincible, or that he was acting out? First he was "the most highly recruited high school quarterback in the country," according to the New York Times. Then he drew a record-setting $1.6 million draft bonus to play for the Florida Marlins' minor league franchise. When he got bored of that, he went to college for a year, until he was drafted into the NFL. He was a quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, then the Cleveland Browns, then the Oakland Raiders. The free-agent quarterback parted ways with the Raiders in 2007 and has been killing time as a sportscaster for Fox, ESPN and the NFL Network. So why the self-destructive behavior? A possible answer, plus a larger shot of Booty's booking photo, after the jump.

Now that we've entered the Hollywood phase of American Idol's tireless search for the Next Big Thing Who Will Be Dropped By A Record Label Within A Year, the tin-eared Small Town Gays and tone-deaf, razor-taloned hippies have all been culled from the competition, leaving us with precious few opportunities to enjoy the kind of ear-diddling disasters that are at the heart Idol's early-season bloodsport.

· 24 co-creator/primetime-torture advocate Joel Surnow is leaving the series to follow his muse, having previously ceded day-to-day control of the show to fellow executive producer Howard Gordon. Surnow explains his decision to officially pass on Jack Bauer's interrogation-speeding belt-sander to his colleagues: "I've done seven years, almost eight years at the same place with the same great group of people. During the strike I started thinking about different things I'd like to do independently, and decided it was time to see if there were other opportunities I wanted to pursue." [Variety]
· Hoping to pressure SAG leaders into opening negotiations with the studios long before the June 30th expiration of their contract, "several top stars" may launch a public campaign in hopes of preempting a second industry-crippling work stoppage, possibly in the form of a series of "Don't Be Fucking Crazy. No One Wants Another Strike For At Least Three Years" ads in the trades featuring actors like George Clooney, Ben Affleck and Teri Hatcher hugging moguls such as Peter Chernin and Les Moonves. [Variety]

You didn't think Everybody's Suing Everybody Day was over yet, did you? It's time to ratchet things up a notch, and pit giant studio against giant studio! Fox has filed suit against Warner Bros. over Alan Moore's graphic novel Watchmen. Warner already has their version of the superhero story in the pipeline for 2009, directed by 300's Zack Snyder with a cast that reunites Little Children's Jackie Earle Haley and Patrick Wilson. Fox, meanwhile, claims they bought exclusive rights to the property in the late '80s, and that producer Lawrence Gordon never paid the full buy-out price that would have allowed him to shop it around. They want nothing less than the production to be shelved, with not even Zach's personal pledge that he won't "gay it up like my last graphic novel adaptation" enough to sway their made-up minds. [THR]

On Friday, Fox News boss Roger Ailes reminded employees in a memo that "there are no locks on the doors." Now the network has proven the point, by helping two find their way out. Eric Burns, the moderator of "Fox News Watch," the media critic roundtable show mandatory to all cable news networks, along with liberal panelist Neal Gabler, who was known for criticizing his employer, have both been let go. Gabler moaned about Fox's lack of promotion for the show, but the network called sour grapes. They did not, however, "wish him well." [NYT]. After the jump, classic footage of Burns&Co. discussing the Larry Craig scandal; sadly, you won't ever get to see this happen live.

Former Senator and man who wishes he could own slaves Trent Lott "may go to work as a network political consultant. Lott says he's being courted by CNN and FOX to do political analysis." [TP]

· In a move that "might" be related to the strike, Jon Stewart pulls out of a Paley Center fundraiser honoring unkillable Viacom overlord Sumner Redstone; presumably, the possibility of having to cross WGA protesters to host an event celebrating a man who's previously pledged to "live long enough to watch every last one of those greedy, scribbling serfs die on the picket line" suddenly made the gig seem less savory. [THR]
· On Super Tuesday, network TV audiences overwhelming chose Fox's American Idol and House to ABC's coverage of the primaries, which, despite occasional clips of Mitt Romney's hilariously inept audition for the Republican nomination, never stood a chance against the misadventures of dozens of equally delusional Idol hopefuls. [Variety]

· Mattel joins fellow toy manufacturer Hasbro in leaping into CAA's embrace, turning over brands like American Girl, Hot Wheels and Fisher-Price to the agency for potentially lucrative Hollywood exploitation. First order of business: attaching artificially smooth client Nicole Kidman to a live-action Barbie project by convincing her that another round of full-body laser resurfacing should erase any concerns about being far too old for the part. [Variety]
· The show will go on! cries Academy president Sid Ganis, reassuring the nominees assembled at yesterday's Oscar luncheon that they'll get the recognition they deserve whether or not the strike is resolved by the end of February. "The Oscar exists to shine the brightest possible light on you and your work, and it would be such a terrible shame, through no fault of yours and no fault of ours, if the current conditions prevented us from shining that brightest possible light." [THR]

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