Now that we've entered the Hollywood phase of American Idol's tireless search for the Next Big Thing Who Will Be Dropped By A Record Label Within A Year, the tin-eared Small Town Gays and tone-deaf, razor-taloned hippies have all been culled from the competition, leaving us with precious few opportunities to enjoy the kind of ear-diddling disasters that are at the heart Idol's early-season bloodsport.

But last night, Kyle Ensley provided us with a final, cheap thrill before the show's attention is shifted fully to real contenders, turning in a performance so terrible it induced a brief seizure in Paula Abdul. In fairness, Abdul seems to have enjoyed whatever sensations the neural misfire sent coursing through her body; less tolerant was Simon Cowell, who took the opportunity to savor what could be his last disgusted diva-fit of the year by storming away from the judge's table.