Victoria Siegel, whose parents David and Jackie Siegel were the subject of the 2012 documentary The Queen of Versailles, has died, US Weekly reports. She was 18.

Parts of South Florida will be underwater before you know it. Nevertheless, Florida is busily building new condos all the way down the coast, because fuck it, they can $ell them. Or can they?

In April, a concerned Florida man pulled into the driveway of sheriff’s deputy, climbed on top of the officer’s SUV, and danced for five minutes to to “Rich Girl” by Hall & Oates and “Goodbye Stranger” by Supertramp. Once arrested, the Smoking Gun reports that the suspect, Christian Radecki, told police that he was looking for the “Sheriff of Nottingham” to help him fight off a “woman with fangs” and other vampires who were looking to slaughter small children.

One half of the Florida couple convicted of repeatedly having sex on a Florida beach as a grandmother filmed them has been sentenced to time served. Elissa Alvarez, 20, will also have to register as a sex offender.

When a Florida man told his girlfriend he planned to kill himself, she called the St. John’s County Sheriff’s Office for help. He’s “threatened to kill himself twice now; what do I do and who do I call?” she asked the 911 operator, adding “He recently lost his job, in addition to he’s also been drinking.”

A Florida woman arrested for a resisting a court order to have her 4-year-old son circumcised has reluctantly agreed to the procedure after spending a week behind bars, ABC News reports.

A Florida pediatric dentist and possible demon from your nightmares made flesh is being sued by nearly 50 patients for allegedly performing unnecessary surgery on kids—pulling out their teeth for no reason, and in some cases hitting or choking them.

“If I had a rocket launcher some sonofabitch would die,” said Bruce Cockburn once in a song that could be, but isn’t, about these not-kidding-around dudes, who allegedly amassed a disturbingly large arsenal of weapons and drugs in a quest to blow up a Florida police station.

A naked, blood-covered 17-year-old girl was arrested Saturday morning in Melbourne, Fla., after she allegedly jumped through the glass window of an unoccupied house, punched a stranger and a car, and then ran at police officers while repeatedly screaming “I’M SATAN!” and “I AM GOD.”

Says here on the front page of today’s Florida Times-Union that Jacksonville residents are in shock after two young men fired into a school bus, shooting two girls in the head and OH HEY COUPONS FOR DISCOUNT ADMISSION TO THE GUN SHOW AT THE MOROCCO SHRINE CENTER.

Why did Alan Grayson call a reporter a “shitting robot” yesterday? Because that reporter learned the liberal populist hero Florida congressman, worth somewhere south of $100 million, keeps as much as a quarter of his wealth in “hedge funds in the Cayman Islands” where foreign investors can dodge U.S. taxes.

Two hearse drivers, assigned to transporting the body of a Korean and Vietnam War veteran to his funeral in Lecanto, Fla., Tuesday morning, have been fired after they were witnessed stopping at a Dunkin’ Donuts mid-trip.

Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.), one of the wealthiest anti-corporate corporatists in Congress, may possibly run for Marco Rubio’s open Senate seat. Nothing’s certain! Except that Alan Grayson, one of the most obnoxious members of an obnoxious Congress, will make an ass of himself. Just look what he did today.

A high school principal was arrested in Florida on Wednesday after police discovered her partially undressed in a car with a student and marijuana, The NY Daily News reports.

The Florida couple who last year had sex on a beach, went to sleep, and then had sex again, all while a grandmother filmed them, have been convicted of lewd and lascivious behavior, and each face up to 15 years in prison, the Miami Herald reports.

The 23-year-old Florida woman arrested Monday for allegedly having sex with her 15-year-old neighbor was accused in 2012 of having sex with at least two dogs.

The Florida woman who tweeted “2 drunk 2 care” hours before causing a deadly car crash was sentenced to 24 years in prison on Monday, CBS News reports.

Florida truly seems like a terrifying place to live, and a new video out of Palm Beach county really does nothing to help the image of the freaky state as one big lawless, drug-induced hallucination.

Just three minutes before allegedly causing an accident that killed her passenger, a 22-year-old old Florida woman reportedly texted her boyfriend, “Driving drunk woo …” and “Ill be dead thanks to you ….” The woman, Mila Dago, had a blood alcohol level of .178 two hours after the crash, according to police.

Three members of the University of Florida’s Zeta Beta Tau fraternity have been expelled from the campus chapter after they allegedly spit on and hurled beer bottles at veterans attending a retreat at Panama City Beach. Some were apparently seen peeing on veterans’ American flags.