Times Square fixture the Naked Cowboy sent a cease-and-desist letter to Sandy Kane, the bawdy stripper who unleashes her shtick on tourists daily as the Naked Cowgirl. He wants her to sign a franchise agreement. Say what?

The people in the New Mexico town where Val Kilmer lives hate him. They're holding up permits for turning his home into a bed & breakfast because he called them a bunch of killer drunks. Now the ACLU is involved!

After Dina Lohan called the cops on Carvel Ice Cream for denying her freebies, Carvel denounced "entitled" Dina. Now Carvel's mascot, an anthropomorphized chocolate whale named Fudgie, is giving Dina the smackdown on his blog, Twitter, and Facebook page.

A truck for Microsoft's Bing search engine has been driving around Google's Mountain View campus, apparently taking pictures. A Googler shot a photo of the vehicle — and then his friends went to work on Microsoft in the comments.

In a Wired UK cover story, Dennis Crowley spikes his blood alcohol to 13 percent, hits six consecutive parties and hints he drank six glasses of wine in one sitting. Which helps explain the Foursquare CEO's slam against ex-employer Google.

M.I.A. was so pissed about her New York Times Magazine profile that she tweeted writer Lynn Hirschberg's phone number and then made a diss track about her. What a baby, right? Well. She had a good reason to be mad.

Eliot Hess is a former hippie and current PR firm owner. Terry Borg and Thomas Pienkos are both executives in the Trump Organization. They all live in the same co-op. And their childish, idiotic email war is now big news!

The too-rich-to-sell-out rapper apparently doesn't like the New York Times Magazine cover story about her. She's so angry, in fact, she just shared writer Lynn Hirschberg's cell phone number with the world and instructed people to call her.

Last Friday, professional media beef-starter Michael Wolff called Newsweek's Jonathan Alter "the most pompous man in American journalism." Today, Wolff's column dismissively cited Alter's new book about Barack Obama. This confluence of Wolff-isms sent Jonathan Alter over the edge.

Restaurateurs of New York, beware: Do not open a late-night spot anywhere near Georgette Fleischer. The downtown scold, a Barnard professor, has just successfully had hotspot La Esquina closed down because of code violations. And this isn't her first victory.

Lil' Wayne's legal troubles continue, it seems. A record producer is suing the already imprisoned rapper (and blogger!), claiming Wayne's record company owes him $500,000 in royalties for "Lollipop," the 2009 Grammy winner for Best Rap Song.

Donny Deutsch got a weeklong anchor slot on MSNBC. He did a segment about angry TV pundithosts (click to watch). One of those featured was fellow MSNBCer Keith Olbermann. Now, Donny's been dumped from his gig. Why?

In your pleasant Tuesday media column: Glenn Beck vs. Joe Klein, a stranded-in-the-airport magazine, Dave Eggers wants to marry print and live in Never-Neverland with it, and Les Moonves struggles through another year of penurious wages.

The winner is Nobel-winning economist and crotchety columnist Paul Krugman. The loser is Dealbook wunderkind Andrew Ross Sorkin, who got a slap on the wrist in today's New York Times Corrections page.

In the matter of "Paul Krugman vs. Andrew Ross Sorkin: Who Is Right and Who Is a Liar Jerk?" New York Times public editor Clark Hoyt has finally stepped in. And somebody's lying to him, too.

The Park Slope Food Coop's manager thinks Barneys is breaking the law with the name of its lower-priced extension, which is coming to Brooklyn this September.

Just friends or bust friends? America's most respected scandal sheet reports that our nemesis Martha Stewart is trying to horn her way in on Hillary Clinton's man—Bill Clinton, former prez! Martha, you cad, allegedly!

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss speciously claimed to have helped invent Facebook, winning tens of millions of dollars from the social network. Now they ludicrously want more, and the real inventor of Facebook probably has himself to blame.

On the Late Show the other night, Robin Williams accused Australians of being "English rednecks." Belligerent drunk and Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd shot back that Alabamians are American rednecks. Good point! Australia is the Alabama of the South Pacific.

Or something! The troubled artist went on a little crazy Twitter spree today, complaining that her horrible father Michael (who she just calls "Someone") used to "psychically" abuse her. We're pretty sure she meant "physically," but who knows! Here, read: