Eliot Hess is a former hippie and current PR firm owner. Terry Borg and Thomas Pienkos are both executives in the Trump Organization. They all live in the same co-op. And their childish, idiotic email war is now big news!

Somebody—and we really hope it's the uh, PR-savvy Hess, self-described "true Virgo" and collector of "stamps, coins, miniature train and car sets, antique cameras, comic books, trading cards and all kinds of memorabilia"—slipped the New York Times copies of angry emails between Hess, a short little hippie, and Pienkos (pictured), who, you know, looks like a guy who's proud to work for Donald Trump. Both men are board members at their East 62nd Street co-op; both are, presumably, sophisticated New York professionals; and both email in the universally accepted "All Caps and Multiple Exclamation Points" crazy-person-on-the-internet style. Tell em what's what, Thomas Pienkos!

"GOOD BYE LITTLE NAPOLEAN!!!!! Go while you can and avoid the ridicule of next year's meeting." And then: "PS Don't order anyone around anymore my LITTLE friend. You are ONE owner like everyone else. When I see you I will remind you of that personally."

Are you gonna let him beat you with exclamation points, Eliot Hess?

"Tom: You bore me!!! and like your CRONY, Terry, you have no idea what you're talking about! At the next Board Meeting, try paying attention to what we're discussing instead of playing with your Blackberry!"

In conclusion, be sure to hire these men for all your PR and real estate needs.
[NYT. Pic via]