We got an angry email from Juliette Lewis' publicist (she must be doing pretty well if she has a publicist) saying that the girl getting boned in this picture by perv photo Terry Richardson is not Juliette Lewis. Then it must be a photo of Terry Richardson fucking a girl that looks like Juliette Lewis.
A while ago, a twenty-something geek we'll call Martin arranged a meeting with some potential clients in an an unusual place: the sidewalk across the street from a police precinct on Manhattan's West Side.
Possessed Anthropologie mannequin Zooey Deschanel was not nominated for any Oscars on Tuesday.
How are we going to look Dame Maggie in the face after this?
Tonight we witnessed President Obama outline all the proposals that will be blocked by Congress in the election year 2012. Drill for everything. Create jobs for the humans who want jobs. End more wars, try not to have new ones... but maybe have some new ones? 2012 is shaping up to be a banner year for America's government. Let's check out some reactions from the pundits and various clowns on Twitter.
The American Cancer Society reported recently that the rate of oral cancer tumors possibly caused by human papillomavirus (HPV) is on an incline.
The last batch of President Kennedy's secret Oval Office recordings was released today, just barely missing the deadline for everyone's "Best Secret Presidential Recordings of 2011" year-end lists. Archivists from the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library have been declassifying and releasing portions of the tapes, recorded so super duper secretly not even Kennedy's top aides knew of their existence before his death, since 1993.
Joe the Plumber, whom our senior citizen readers might remember as the guy who asked presidential candidate Barack Obama a tax question on YouTube and briefly became a conservative celebrity, has this new fundraising ad out for his congressional run in Ohio. By "fundraising ad," however, we mean "Facebook photo," and in this photo he appears to be doing plumbing work, something he hasn't had much time for in recent years between all the conservative conference guest gigs and wet t-shirt contest refereeing at radon-filled clubs.
As the mist clears on the glen, the great city of Brigadoon Hills once again disappears beyond the horizon to disappear for yet another interval. But before that can happen it left us with a wedding, the gift of true love, a wake, and the tearless grieving of a host of widows.
Here is a video of some Chinese soldiers tossing around a live hand grenade, dumping it into a hole, and then acrobatically leaping away from the blast in unison like some weird Busby Berkeley number from Hell. When did it happen? Is it real? Why are the doing this? Who knows. The Atlantic Wire has some ideas. Go China!
Behold the deeply, deeply unsettling (and NSFW) stop-motion videography of artist Monica Cook (NO RELATION AT ALL WHATSOEVER), featuring animatronic-looking sweaty weirdos giving birth to horrible misshapen babies with outsized genitalia and then turning into werewolves. The video is from March; Cook has a new show at Postmasters Art Gallery in New York featuring, in the words of Animal NY's Marina Galperina, "humanoid, cave-dwelling monkeys, loving in efflorescent goo, conceiving, birthing, mothering, and dying… all while you can see their insides working through their transparent, ripping skin. It's all shiny fluid and dripping flesh, sequins, pipes, teeth and peeled glittered bones." It's also "very touching," she says. Sweet dreams.
The Third Jihad is a "documentary" purporting to show that U.S. Muslims are here to "infiltrate and dominate" America, funded by a mysterious right-wing pressure group. So it was a natural fit for the NYPD, which has launched an unprecedented and illegal campaign of surveillance against Muslim New Yorkers. According to the New York Times, the NYPD screened The Third Jihad on a "continuous loop" for its trainees, and more than 1,500 officers have seen it.
Police officers in Monterey Park, Calif., shot and killed a man in the parking lot of a Carl's Jr. yesterday morning, and witnesses caught it on video. According to the New York Daily News, the man, who was wearing a dark hoodie, was breaking windows inside the restaurant. The video shows him coming out into the parking lot carrying what looks like a shovel or large hammer. The cops appear to taser him, which has no effect. When he seems to rear up to swing the object in his hand—but before swinging it—the two officers fire off ten shots.
This actress made a splash at Sundance. It wasn't with an indie film, it was by sleeping with a much older director. Don't worry, she just turned 18. Also at Sundance, this actor hooked up with a much older actress. Do they hold this festival twice—in May and December?
Rich asshole Mitt Romney released his 2010 tax returns and an estimated return for 2011 this morning. Together they total more than 500 pages, because purposefully structuring your wealth so as to maximally exploit the massive tax loopholes you have lobbied for over the decades is very complicated. The topline: Romney made $45 million in 2010 and 2011, almost exclusively from sitting there and watching his investments belch out money. He paid a tax rate of 13.9%. According the IRS, the 400 wealthiest Americans paid an average tax rate of 16% in 2008. Way to shave off those pennies, Mitt!
The nominations for this year's Oscars were announced this morning and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences tapped exactly who you thought they would. That's not a bad thing. There were some surprises though. Here's a full list of the nominees.
