In today's edition of Meet Your Republican Committee Chairs, we look at Rep. Joe Barton — energy industry puppet, BP apologist. He wants to head the powerful Energy and Commerce committee. Why? To destroy those energy-saving lightbulbs that hippies love.

Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss, the manpurse-loving twins who sued Mark Zuckerberg for supposedly stealing the idea for Facebook (and later accepted a $65 million settlement ), have been ordered to pay their lawyers $13 million. Lawsuits don't file themselves for free.

Boy howdy, Google has done it now! The company's special Veterans Day logo this year, you see, features a mysterious crescent shape. And you know who loves crescent shapes? The Muslims. Yeah, some people are actually upset about this.

Given the recent spate of gay teen suicides and all the attention given to school bullying and the "It Gets Better" YouTube project, you'd think gay teenagers were in a constant state of peril. One psychologist says it's not true.

This is the Los Angeles home that Disney princess turned rehab-seeker Demi Lovato purchased for her family back in August. It features a private guesthouse for Demi, and a crazy-lookin' pool. Supposedly it went for $2.25M. And now it's cursed.

Wired magazine logged nearly 35,000 complaint calls to 311— New York's call-and-whine help line—and put them in this handy graph based on nature of complaint and time of call. They also break it down by bitchingest neighborhood

Noted Italian film producer Dino De Laurentiis—who worked with Federico Fellini before making classics like Serpico, Death Wish, Three Days of the Condor, Blue Velvet, and Barbarella—died in Los Angeles today of undisclosed causes. He was 91.

Yesterday a demolition crew blew up a 275-foot tower at the old Mad River Power Plant in Springfield, Ohio to great fanfare. But there was one problem — it fell the wrong way and took out the area's electricity.

Well, this is creepy: The empty New Orleans Six Flags, abandoned after Hurricane Katrina, filmed by Teddy Smith. It's even got an atmospheric score! And, because of course an abandoned amusement park would have one, a huge, terrifying clown head.

The mysterious "missile launch" off the California coast yesterday illuminated our national death wish, as millions feared/hoped that a nuclear ICBM was about to rain hot death all over a deadly-boring Tuesday. But it was just an airplane.

You've probably heard that Amazon is selling a pedophile guide called The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure. Outrage! Know what's really outrageous? Since the story broke this morning, sales of the self-published e-book have shot up by 101,000%.

Earlier today, the U.S. Marshall's Service previewed nearly 500 possessions of Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff and his wife, Ruth, that it will auction off on Saturday. Up for grabs: a bed, piano, 10-carat diamond ring, and shoes. Lots of shoes.

On November 11 for the past two years, Al Gore's Current TV has laid off a bunch of staffers. In 2008, 32 people were axed; 80 more were dismissed in 2009. With 11/11 upon us tomorrow, employees are getting nervous.

Because he yells at unions a lot, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is considered a leading presidential candidate for the next 5-6 elections. So what does this jolly galoot think about, say, climate change? He loves all of the arguments!

An Internet dating site did a study about which country's women initiate contact with men—flirt, in other words—most often. The U.S. came in second to last. Where should you go if you want a saucy girl? Spain!

George W. Bush is unsurprisingly denying the report that he'd "have endorsed Obama if they'd asked." A spokesman calls the story "ridiculous and untrue," adding that Bush "proudly" supported McCain. Welcome back to the 24-hour news cycle, George W. Bush.

Air travel can be so stressful these days. Passengers heading from Phoenix to Washington state livened it up recently with an in-flight pillow fight. It gets serious when someone shouts, "Throw them all into first!" and incites a class war.

In a new study from the Center for Important & Definitive Studies, it was found that self-identifying Republicans' number three favorite show is ABC's wholesome (and kinda gay!) Modern Family. The Democrats voted murderpalooza Dexter as their third favorite.

50,000 British students took to London's streets today to protest the Conservative/Lib-Dem coalition's sharp university tuition hikes, and all had a jolly good time. Some even started smashing, vandalizing, and occupying the Tories' headquarters. It was pretty fierce!

Since being elected as Republican National Committee chairman almost two years ago, Michael Steele has survived constant calls for his resignation, only to preside over historic GOP congressional wins. His reward? Probably losing his job.