When people say, after sex, "I can't move," they usually mean it as a compliment. But you should make sure! Because they might mean it literally. Like the woman in New Zealand who was partially paralyzed by a hickey.

Looking to have a nice little cry? Not a sad one, but a sort of sweet, hopeful, lump-in-the-throat kind of deal? Meet nine-year-old Isaac Saldana, who, behind his mother's back, sold his toys to donate $2.85 to Rep. Gabrielle Giffords.

Cybercriminals have gotten so sophisticated recently that their operations are almost indistinguishable from the legit businesses they rip off. Here's a "menu" of services offered by cybercriminals, including working physical credit cards and fake storefronts to scam unsuspecting Internet users.

Pop star Katy Perry swung through Facebook's headquarters for a visit. What did she do there? Pose with employees, eat at the cafeteria, and not much else as far as we can tell. But it looked fun for the employees!

Roger Ebert, who lost his lower jaw to cancer, just got a brand new prosthetic chin made out of silicone. Looks pretty good! Ebert says he'll wear the prosthetic during his new PBS show.

The production company behind the TV series Bones has announced a biopic on Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. It will be a thriller—a "suspenseful drama with a global impact". But who's going to play Julian Assange?

Actor/activist George Clooney has malaria. Seems he contracted it earlier this month while traveling in the Sudan and is "feeling rough." That's a pretty extreme way to raise awareness for a cause, George! Well, keep the gin and tonics coming.

In November, Illinois police discovered Vikki Myers masturbating topless in her van. They didn't charge her with the act, but for possessing a firearm without a license. Last month she pleaded guilty. For some reason, we love this nut.

Pedestrian deaths increased in 2010, and it was Michelle Obama's fault. This is what we're learning today! Specifically: Maybe if Michelle Obama's anti-obesity campaign wasn't urging people to exercise regularly, cars would hit them less often?

They're just doing too much, and they're doing it in a weird way. Also today: Johnny Depp takes another dose of whimsy, some shows get some actors, and a look at this year's Sundance crop.

New York City's Taxi and Limousine Commission has approved a new style guide for the city's cab drivers. So, what is acceptable attire and what isn't?

Wal-Mart today announced a five-year plan to modestly reduce sodium, sugar, and trans fats in all the food it sells. For this, they got a press conference with Michelle Obama in a sleeveless dress. Totally worth it. [NYT]

Wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is playing with an iPad now, which, according to her doctors, "indicates a high level of cognitive functioning." Apple always wins! If she were playing with a Dell or Samsung tablet, it wouldn't be as significant.

In case you missed the Golden Globes on Sunday, Natalie Portman told a not-funny joke during her acceptance speech and then let out a horrendous cackle. Naturally the hivemind of the internet latched onto it and a meme's been born.

There are only three things in life that are inevitable: death, taxes, and "restaurant wars," the annual challenge where Top Chef contestants must create a restaurant in a day. It always ends in disaster.

Remember Rick Santorum, former top social conservative senator from Pennsylvania? Well, he's probably running for president. And he just can't stand Barack Obama's position on abortion, which is "almost remarkable for a black man" to have.

Kim Kardashian wants to impart some serious life lessons to the young girls of America, because she's qualified to do so. Also today: Tom Brady needs surgery and Halle Berry really likes to yell a lot at her ex-boyfriend.

Sex on demand is part of her job description. This actor is rude to the ladies, and this actress turns off men with her tacky sex toys. She should get herself a dutiful assistant.

Did Todd Palin have an affair with a massage therapist named Shailey Tripp? The National Enquirer stops just short of saying "yes"—but claims "police have confiscated physical evidence that could tie Todd to an alleged extramarital affair."

Actress Kelly Preston just gave birth to the spawn of actor John Travolta. In complete silence. But it's not weird at all! As Preston explained on the Today show, it's all part of Scientology's very scientific theories about, uh, something.