Ah, our new, super-civil politics. No longer will cross-hairs be threateningly wielded or presidents' birth certificates be questioned. Rejoice! Our national discourse now rises to the level of fragrant poetry. Except when a Democratic congressman compares Republicans to Nazis.

The new MTV show Skins aspires to a frank portrayal of very young, very horny teens. This requires lots of sexy material. But some MTV execs started worrying Skins might be a little too sexy, in a child porn way.

Chinese President Hu Jintao is visiting America this week to figure out the best places to install giant hydroelectric dams once China conquers us. And tonight is the much-hyped State Dinner. Wanna know who's sitting with the president?

San Francisco has banned Happy Meals, plastic grocery bags, cat declawing, cigarettes in drugstores, municipal bottled water buys, city deals with former slave traders, and more. Laugh all you want — your local government may well be following suit.

A gas explosion killed one 19-year-old utility worker in Philadelphia's Tacony neighborhood today and injured six others. A bystander caught the enormous fireball on video.

After a typically insane floor debate, for which Rep. Anthony Weiner made drinking game suggestions, the House voted to repeal Democrats' health care reform law, 245-189. The "Repealing the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act" will now die in the Senate.

The State Department has released a list of gifts to federal employees, including President Obama, from foreign governments in 2009. (Diplomats have been playing with them for a full year.) So which foreign dignitary gave our president the cheapest gift?

Some teens in Florida (natch) recently robbed a woman's home, taking, among other things, the ashes of her father and two Great Danes. Hungry for drugs, they snorted them. Upon realizing their mistake, they threw the ashes in a lake.

New Hawaii Gov. Neil Abercrombie vowed to settle the question of Barack Obama's birth certificate last month, and his "investigation" has found that yes, a recording of Obama's birth "exists in the archives, written down." The conspiracy theorists remain skeptical!

Conservative radio king Rush Limbaugh sure thinks Chinese people talk funny. Want to hear the impression of Chinese President Hu Jintao he unveiled today? It's 20 straight seconds of cartoonish "CHING CHANG CHONG" sounds. Seriously. The audio is below.

The cool thing about a Twitter username like "@Adam" is that it marks you as a trendsetter. The terrible part is getting tons of misdirected messages, and finding out how much hot sex Adam Lambert gets offered. [WSJ]

In three more years, you literally will not be able to purchase a good old-fashioned light bulb any more. It'll be 100% twisty, pale CFL bulbs. Which, they now tell us, aren't as amazing as promised.

Someone pulled a "Bill Daley" and fainted at today's White House ceremony with Chinese President Hu Jintao! It was Deborah Mullen, wife of Joint Chiefs Chairman Adm. Mike Mullen. She's fine, but will Sino-American relations ever recover? [Photo via AP]

Sen. Joe Lieberman actually went through with his retirement announcement! Who knew it would ever be this easy to get rid of him? Thanks, Joe! Let's check out what he said at today's grand press conference.

Need some steroids? Sure you do. Try Amazon.com, which offers a veritable ocean of steroid-containing "supplements," ready for shipping right to your doorstep.

Click to viewNot to make news outlets that jumped the shark feel too guilty, but... ouch: Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' husband, astronaut Mark Kelly, thought she was dead two Saturdays ago after hearing such news reports following the Tucson shooting spree.

It's not New York, LA, San Francisco, or even Northampton, Massachusetts. According to the latest census, it's Jacksonville, Florida! And the city's nice to its gay families, and it's in the south. Why are the gayest cities always so odd?

Christopher Nolan has confirmed that Mia Thermopolis herself, aka Anne Hathaway, will be playing Selina Kyle/Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises. Great! A dorky, jazz-handsy Catwoman is perfect. Meanwhile, Tom Hardy will play the villainous Batman-breaker Bane.

Men who experience fever, burning eyes, runny nose, and fatigue after ejaculation could have a rare, mysterious condition called post orgasmic illness syndrome, or POIS. But don't worry, guys, there's a cure!

Martin Gaskell is an astronomer who studies quasars. He's also a Christian who questions evolution. The University of Kentucky decided not to hire him at least partly because of his religious views. Now Gaskell's won a settlement over it. Good.