Former Louisiana Gov. Buddy Roemer will apparently run for president! Sure, why not? He's most famous for losing a gubernatorial primary to white supremacist monster David Duke in 1991, as an incumbent. Speaking of Duke, why isn't he running?

We're used to all sorts of crazy trends coming out of the world of pop culture, but the most recent one is incredibly alarming. What kind of world do we live in where anti-Semitism is not only acceptable, but the flavor of the moment?

PayPal ditched Wikileaks last December because, the company falsely claimed, its "activities were deemed illegal in the United States." The whole thing caused something of a stir. But look! As the Atlantic Wire reports, you can now use PayPal to donate money to Julian Assange's legal defense fund, which is prominently advertised on Wikileaks' web site, and which Assange can use to fund "non-profit bodies which have freedom of speech or freedom of information as a principal aim." Hmmm—I know of one of those that could use some money.

Good news, residents of poverty-stricken states where low tax revenues from weak economies fuels massive public service cutbacks which fuels a decline in quality of living which fuels further exodus of moneyed citizens in awful downward spiral: we've found a way to bolster your stretched-to-the-breaking-point police departments! Bad news: that way is you!

Russian baby-swinging yoga guru Lena Fokina—whose unconventional child-rearing terrorized YouTube earlier this year—recently went on high-profile Russian talk show Let Them Talk. Before a live studio audience, Lena Fokina swung a baby, endured half an hour of berate and ridicule, then burst into tears.

It's been a little while since we last checked in on the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, but he's suddenly become the most popular Republican in the country! And all it took was a few choreographed YouTubes of him screaming at teachers' unions, with his sleeves rolled up (crucially). So why won't he run for president already? Republican operatives, who hate all of the other candidates, demand it.

900,000 people (myself included) are following Charlie Sheen's brand new Twitter account, which he created in the midst of a manic media blitz that caused him to lose his job. His craziness earned him a restraining order (from the ex-wife he went to jail for beating and threatening with a knife, who says he threatened to murder her this time), and caused state authorities to remove his children from his custody. Among the evidence presented in the custody battle: A text message announcing he "must execute" a "stoopid Jew pig."

Despite having a diet that consists solely of french fries with gravy, weird bacon-ham, and moose brains, Canadians are still significantly less obese ("less obese" is where we're at these days, "skinnier" went out the window long ago) than their neighbors to the south. Namely, us. Yes, a study released today shows that 34% of Americans are obese versus 24% of Canadians. What gives?

Neil Strauss, America's favorite awful porn-star ghostwriter and creepy vagina wrangler, has taken up the fight against American's criminals. His book The Game is, according to a press release his publicist sent us yesterday, "required reading for FBI agents," and he was recently asked to train a group of agents on his patented techniques for mesmerizing women/defeating villains.

Elections really do have consequences, just like people keep saying! Take the suddenly super-Republican empire that is Ohio. What would a hypothetical Democratic leadership be doing in that statehouse right now? Probably hiding under their desks, looking for welfare money. Which is much better than what the current real life Republican leadership is doing today: Giving two ladies ultrasounds during a hearing over an anti-abortion bill.

The Real Birdturds of Miami screeched in unison last night as they all attended Lea Black's Black Tie Extravaganza at Black House Manor. But one of the ladies was not welcome and there will be vicious hell to pay.

Shortly after Oprah Winfrey became a national sensation she hired her first cousin Jo Baldwin to be her speechwriter. Later she promoted Baldwin to VP of her company Harpo Inc.

Fox News' Bret Baier told viewers late this morning that the network has suspended its "contributor arrangements" with Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum for 60 days while they decide on their possible presidential bids. It's just "Fox policy," and the "suspensions will be lifted on May 1 if they notify the network by then that they are not planning to run."

Northwestern University simply cannot stop being awesome. From getting drunk and hollering about blowjobs to throwing blackface Halloween parties to producing a little rapper by the name of Chet Haze, Northwestern University never does anything less than the most awesome thing to do in any given situation. That's why regular schools have "Human Sexuality" classes, but Northwestern University has HOT LIVE FUCKSAW demonstrations:

In a lopsided 8-to-1 decision, the Supreme Court has ruled that the Westboro Baptist Church can't be sued for disrupting a soldier's funeral with vile and stupid protests.

Disgraced former Dior designer John Galliano issued a statement today apologizing for his anti-Semitic tirade but also denying the claims against him, saying he was provoked into making the offensive remarks.

As the huge (largest-ever in Brooklyn) and controversial Atlantic Yards development project, adjacent to some of Brooklyn's most bobo-filled enclaves, makes further progress, the level of hysteria rises and rises. The latest story has a group of Park Slope residents freaking out about a new bar opening in their neighborhood (in anticipation of arena crowds supposedly) that they fear will dare to play hip-hop music.

Justin Bieber turned 17 last night, and celebrated by flipping off the paparazzi. [Image via Pacific Coast News]

Fox News reporter Mike Tobin went on Bill O'Reilly's program Monday night to talk about the evil, violent union thugs who beat everyone up all the time. This is the same Mike Tobin who claims he was "hit" by protesters inside the Wisconsin Capitol a few days ago, which the magic of the Internet has since shown to be a questionable assertion. Still, Tobin sticks to his argument: Unions = Endless violence, everywhere. Bill O'Reilly, for his part, wonders "who's behind the chanting." Perhaps the Muslims? That's our guess.

We finally made it! Last night was the first night of true American Idol singing competition, with the contestants finally turned toward us, the voting public, made to sing for our cruel amusement. It was the semifinals boys' night last night, a ragtag bunch of fellows who had a big task set out before them. So how they'd do? Eh.