Most Americans think of our neighbor to the south, the land of Meh-hee-ko, as a place primarily populated by taco-wielding mariachi bands passing out tequila shots in a welcoming spirit of friendship, speaking "espanyole." We regret to inform you that that impression may be overoptimistic.
Like a vulture circling a mound of rotting flesh, Lindsay Lohan is closing in on the role of Victoria Gotti in an upcoming mafia movie. To seal the deal, Lindsay and Victoria posed for pictures; the result was like one of those fairy tales where a damsel looks in the mirror and freaks out when she sees what she will look like when she is old. Not that Victoria is that old! Just that LiLo has a thing for snuggling up to human embodiments of her super-tan, uber-blonde future.
Meet Grace Oberhofer, a Washington State teen who has been, gasp, waitlisted at the Stansbury of the east, Harvard University. Waitlisted? Noooo. So what is a disappointed and desperate Harvard wannabe to do? Well, if you're this girl you record a jokey yet still plainly earnest song pleading with the admissions office to let you onto the Yard.
You know exactly who Paul Marcarelli is, even though you don't know that you do. He's the "Can you hear me now?" guy. His be-spectacled face has graced dozens upon dozens of Verizon ads, which have bombarded you for nearly a decade of your life, whether you like it or not.
All of the best technologies in the world have come from America: The Internet, microwave popcorn… other things. So why isn't America No. 1 when it comes to the digital economy? A new report says we're a measly fifth!
This is an important question we are asking ourselves today: can Gwyneth Paltrow be stopped? The human-shaped collection of sunlight and feathers has already conquered the acting world, has become the nation's preeminent country-western-singer, and is now poised to take over the food industry. Her new cookbook, My Father's Daughter, is selling like gluten-free hotcakes and now the New York Post wonders if she could become the next Martha Stewart.
Hayden Panettiere invites us to imagine what she looks like during sex. Lady Gaga is against plastic surgery. A boy bander gets a new gig as a Chippendale. Joe Jonas collaborates with Chris Brown. Wednesday gossip can't be unseen.
This old Hollywood leading man got castrated to preserve his voice and defeat his homosexual urges, this pregnant star got her husband hooked on sex toys, and this TV writer has a hilariously filthy mouth. He really takes life by the balls.
In just over a month, law enforcement agencies have busted two massive marijuana growing operations on Staten Island. Agents from the DEA — along with the NYPD and New York State Police — on Monday raided a "sophisticated hydroponic grow house" and found 450 mature pot plants. Two men were also arrested in connection with the operation, which authorities told the Staten Island Advance was raking in about $10 million a year. Damn.
Just two days after we learned of little Dominic Dill-Reese, the toddler from Michigan who accidentally got hammered on margaritas, comes yet another shocking incident of post-fetal alcohol syndrome. The details are strikingly similar — just replace "Applebee's" with "Olive Garden," and "margarita" with "sangria."
The homeless of St. Petersburg, Fla. have become the unlikely stars of a series of fetish videos in which they were treated like human "punching bags" by scantily clad women. In exchange for the filmed maulings—some so severe they put the recipients in the hospital—they were given $50 by Jeffrey S. Williams, the 58-year-old website manager of shefights.net. Now two of the men are suing.
On yesterday's Report, Stephen Colbert called out Arizona Senator Jon Kyl for his lie about Planned Parenthood, which Kyl explained away by claiming that it was "not intended to be a factual statement." On tonight's show, Colbert took it a step further by giving Kyl several tastes of his own medicine.
Click to viewFormer Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty is trying too hard again: The Republican, who hasn't officially announced his presidential candidacy, told CNN's Piers Morgan "I'm running for president" only to have his spokesman Alex Conant quickly downplayed the statement, saying "He will have a formal announcement about running for president later this spring." Tim! Chill out! You're going to ruin this for everyone! [CNN]
MySpace's revenue for the year ending June 20 will be just $109 million, according to documents distributed to potential buyers of the dying social network. Just a few years ago, the company was pulling in upwards of $900 million.
Donald Trump is not nearly as generous with money as he is with opinions: Between 1990 and 2009 the aspiring presidential candidate gave only $3.7 million of his (purported) billions to his own charity.
