With college increasingly derided as a pricey con, it's no wonder America's parents worry their kids will skip higher education entirely and try to get rich programming social networks or iPhone apps or whatever. Scary!

Of all terrible naked pregnant poses, man hand bra is my least favorite. The problem is that, when a man puts his hands on his wife's tits, he automatically makes a grabbing motion. See how Nick's fingers are tensed, his thumbs outstretched and gripping? That is the source of the awkwardness. This is not an elegant nude. This is a virile man getting to second base with a lady he recently knocked up.

Hosni Mubarak had a "heart attack" just hours before he was due to be interviewed—or possibly during the interview, depending on who you ask—by prosecutors looking into how he looted the nation he ruled for 30 years.

Chinese government censors have issued new guidelines that essentially ban television programs that feature time travel as a plot device. I really wish we could do this, because there is no deus ex machina more overused or annoying than time travel.

Well, it seems that not even a return from a four-month hiatus following a massive round of retooling could spark much interest in the West Coast edition of Law & Order. Last night's two-hour episode (well it was really two separate eps, but whatever), which killed off poor Skeet Ulrich and demoted Alfred Molina from DA to detective, posted a meager 5.3 million viewers, not a good sign for an already troubled show.

Dirty gas! Judge timing! Lying doctors! Space dust! Courage secret! Alcohol brain! Old viruses! Young puberty! And big wrists that kill! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—with petite bone structure, thank you!

Inspecting video from a meet and greet between Czech President Vaclav Klaus and Chilean leader Sebastian Pinera, a Czech TV show noticed their president inspecting a fancy pen, then surreptitiously pocketing it with a guilty look on his face.

Chocolate milk! Going inside of your child's body, and doing who knows what to Aedynn's delicate little organs! In our nation's capital, the number one education is this: How chocolatey is too chocolatey?

After ejaculating 5 million barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, BP doled out $750 million to state and local governments in a panicked attempt to seem less evil. The states, being dutiful stewards of the environment, directed the money to cleanup and mitigation. Kidding! No, they spent it on the Doobie Brothers and iPads.

Despite evidence to the contrary, human ice luge January Jones is still trying to convince us that she is something more than a pretty face. Now she's saying her Mad Men role was created just for her.

Last week an ad was emailed to J. Crew customers featuring a photo of the company's president and creative director Jenna Lyons and her son in which she was painting his toenails pink. A caption below the picture read: "Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon." Oh, fun. Good for her. Good for him. Right? Wrong. This is an outrage!

Here's a trailer for Monte Carlo, the summertime girlz jam about TV stars hoity-toitying it up in a feature film. Specifically, Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester, and aspiring Golden Globe Awards presenter Katie Cassidy have teamed up to tell this tale about a trip to Paris gone wrong.

Ray Logan has opened enrollment for his Marijuana State University, a three-hour workshop in Maine that teaches people how to grow marijuana in their homes. Logan is one of the nearly 1,000 people in the state who have a medicinal marijuana prescription. And now he's sharing his green thumb with the world.

Hey, underemployed recent college graduates struggling in the worst job market in a generation: do you have a trillion dollars? I really hope you have a trillion dollars. Because you owe a trillion dollars, in student loans.

How did hot mom Stephanie Seymour resolve her messy divorce from billionaire husband Peter Brant? By giving him a literal peace offering:

Anthony Mangione is Immigration and Customs Enforcement's top agent in south Florida, and has led numerous investigations into child pornography. And according to Florida news reports, he's under investigation for kiddie porn himself.

Kristen Stewart eats birthday cake in the vicinity of Edward and Jacob. Charlie Sheen is a serial pet killer. Tori Spelling is pregnant again. Ashley Tisdale shows her boobs, and so does Christina Hendricks. Tuesday gossip eats cake.

Oh dear. Ashton Kutcher and his old lady Demi Moore are apparently, and justifiably, upset about human trafficking. So upset, in fact, that they called up some of their celebrity friends — Justin Timberlake, Jamie Foxx, the Old Spice guy - and had them make anti-slavery ads. Good for them! Too bad the ads are completely befuddling.

Ever since The Huffington Post sold itself off to AOL for an enormous pile of treasure, the legions of people who've been happily blogging for HuffPo for free for all these years have been asking themselves: Hey, shouldn't we get a piece of that pie? Now, they are demanding it.

This actress went to the cast reunion of a famous film but really reunited with her old co-star behind her famous husband's back. This footballer has a drug problem. And this actress just joined the mile-high club. Sadly it wasn't with anyone she'd been in a movie with.