Hayden Panettiere invites us to imagine what she looks like during sex. Lady Gaga is against plastic surgery. A boy bander gets a new gig as a Chippendale. Joe Jonas collaborates with Chris Brown. Wednesday gossip can't be unseen.

  • And now the answer to the question on the mind of perverted fans of Ukrainian boxing everywhere: How does 6'6" heavyweight champ Wladimir Klitschko get it on with 5'1" Heroes star Hayden Panettiere? Hayden broached the topic with a shocked Ellen DeGeneres yesterday: "He is quite a bit bigger than me. I get the prudest people [that] come up to me, and they're like [lowers voice] 'Does it work?' Yeah, it works. We find a way."
  • Ellen blinked and said she was "in shock." "Where there's a will, there's a way," Hayden quipped. Ellen said the line of questioning was "crazy and rude." "I don't mind. I find it amusing," Hayden demurred. Now we just need to get her near an open microphone with Kim Kardashian and her uber-tall boyfriend, and perplexed perverts will only have one lingering question left, about the chihuahua that fucked the great dane. [E!, image via Getty]
  • Speaking of which, Kim Kardashian is moving to New York to be with uber-tall basketball boyfriend Kris Humphries and/or to film another season of Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Haven't they taken enough from New York already? [Us]
  • 98 Degrees member Jeff Timmons just signed on to be a Chippendale in Las Vegas. He has a real flair for doing gay-seeming things on a stage for an audience of age-specific straight females. [TMZ]
  • Lady Gaga has never had plastic surgery, and never will. Prosthetic horn grafts, however, are a different story. She was born this ludicrous, OK? [Bazaar]
  • Demi Lovato discussed her eating disorder with Seventeen magazine: "I will deal with it for the rest of my life because it's a life-long disease. I don't think there's going to be a day when I don't think about food or my body, but I'm living with it, and I wish I could tell young girls to find their safe place and stay with it." [Radar]
  • Teyana Taylor—My Super Sweet 16 alumnus, Kanye West maybe-girlfriend, model, bit actress, "Google Me" singer, and niece of Pharrell—is a suspect in a "ferocious girl-on-girl beatdown" after a lady made a snide comment about her friendship with Chris Brown. Teyana allegedly "punched the other woman in the face multiple times," then "kick[ed] her in the stomach and head with her boots." And with that, Teyana checked off another item in her Catfighting MTV Starlet scavenger hunt. [TMZ]
  • Speaking of Chris Brown, he's teaming up with Joe Jonas in the studio. Please don't say Chris Brown collaborations are a valid strategy for escaping one's squeaky clean image. [Starpulse]

Glee's female stars' Marie Claire covers perfectly capture each starlets' unique strategy for fame: Dianna Agron is windswept and distant, Amber Riley is sunny and sweet, and Lea Michele looks like she's seducing a Popsicle. [MarieClaire]

  • Here's Michael Cera at an indie music festival, sporting a neck tattoo. Too bad it's probably fake. [HoustonPress]
  • Emma Watson on Kate Middleton: "Poor girl, that must be an incredible amount of pressure." Then she cackled with glee and ran around London with her top off, knowing that the paparazzi would be way too busy tailing Middletons to take notice of her. [E!]