• The blood will continue to spill at Time; Jon Meacham shakes things up at Newsweek. [NYP]
• In another attempt to emulate Esquire, Radar looks to move into their old space. Up next: A piece on how sexy Scarlett Johansson is. [NYO]
• Jon Friedman met Jimmy Carter once! Also, Jon hates the media. We feel ya, bro. [Marketwatch]
• Are we the only ones getting a little tired of hearing about Roger Ailes? [Romenesko]
• Jes s D az Jr. resigned as publisher of the Miami Herald after a power struggle with columnist Carl Hiaasen. How come no one resigned back when Dave Barry made his 5,000th booger joke? [Miami Herald]

In the midst of a fascinating treatise on the differences between Survivor and Lost and how the varying reception of those programs offers a statement about the social pathologies of the American public, Chuck Klosterman notes the following:

May this forever more be remembered as the day men's magazines became just as bad as women's.

Per little Jossie: Maxim senior editor and Black Table founding co-editor (you decide which is more important) Eric Gillin has handed in his resignation. Also leaving is ME Laura Silverman, who's not returning to New York after going abroad to launch Maxim India and finding inner peace while downward dogging in a Rishikesh ashram. The resignations follow the August "bloodbath," wherein editor Jimmy Jellinek bravely sacrificed several editoral lambs so that the magazine could do something "huge and historic."

At first Esquire provoked intrigue over the lady with two vaginas. Then fortune double-thrusted her two-penised soulmate on to the radar. Now it would seem the world can follow, "The life and musings of a single girl with two vaginas" on their own accord, because, like everyone else, SHE HAS A BLOG!

Just to follow up on the lady with two vaginas — coincidentally, it appears her ideal two-penised mate does indeed exist, albeit he's in India. And Ms. Dual-Vag better hurry if she wants to hook up, as the diphallic fellow checked into a New Delhi hospital to have one of his fully functional dongs removed in order to "marry and lead a normal sexual life." Sadly, we couldn't find an image of two pie slices to fill the pie-voids depicted by Esquire, so you'll have to settle for two bananas.

[M]any editors profess to hate lists, features that are, at their worst, unoriginal and gushy. (A heavy-breathing essay in this year's Time 100 described George Clooney as "a family heirloom" whose serious bearing makes him "almost worth killing for.")

• Because this world has the endless capacity for incredible cruelty, a woman tried to mug Dustin Diamond — n Samuel "Screech" Powers — in his Omaha hotel room yesterday. While we believe anything Screech tells us, we've got to wonder how the woman got into his hotel room. Did she look like Lisa Turtle? [TMZ]
• Send Lohan to Iraq! Please! [AP]
• This is the second time today we've mentioned Esquire's "I've Got Two Hoo-Hoos" article, but if you've not yet read it, you MUST. We can't stress it enough. A sample: "I lost my virginity twice. The first time was when I was eighteen. Then I lost the other side two weeks later. To the same guy." [Esquire]
• David Duchovny massages Bart Freundlich's supple breast. [Getty]
• The shitstorm surrounding Diana Bianchi/Christie Brinkley/Peter Cook is doing wonders for the career of down-and-out singer Samantha Cole, who's finally reaping the rewards from sleeping with Cook a decade ago. [NYP]
• Floyd Landis is but a pawn in the war between Good Morning America and the Today show. [TV Squad]
• Page Six sets a good example, recycles. [One Park Avenue Realty]
• The HuffPo gets $5 million and what do they do? Publish a Woman's Studies major from Wellesley who lives in Brooklyn and writes about Sleater Kinney. Ungrateful sonuvabitches. [HuffPo]
• Britons beat off for charity, whereas Americans do it for themselves. [Reuters]
• Cindy Adams finally gets the star treatment. [NYT]

Goldenfiddle calls attention not just to this article, but more importantly, the inspired choice of this photo to illustrate same: What It Feels Like to Have Two Vaginas, Esquire. Part of their annual "What It Feels Like ..." special, we're highly tempted to call bullshit on what sounds like a rote stoner-fantasy conversation starter. But why not indulge, when you have material like this:

• Ted Turner sells his memoir for $4.5 million; David Carr sells his for $300k. [NYP]
• You shall bow before Katie and Anderson, because they are royalty. [National Journal]
• Brad is Esquire's October cover. Brad doesn't want to talk about whether he cheated on Jen. Did Esquire agree to restrictions? [WWD]

• You may find this hard to believe, but Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes likely have no plans to marry. They do, of course, have plans to endure one another for the proper amount of time before he abruptly dumps her and she tries save her career. But let's be clear: Joey Potter is no Kidman. [Awful Truth]
• Miss Kentucky 2002 offers herself up to Nick Lachey during the Derby parties, but he politely declines. After all, he's got a lovesick image to maintain and a single to promote. When stuff goes gold, then he'll fuck freely. [Lowdown]
• Today in Chardenade Heatherich, Richie Sambora denies having an affair with Denise Richards. You know, just to keep the story moving along. [IMDb]
• So howzabout that rehabbing congressman Patrick Kennedy? Turns out that before he was popping prescription painkillers, he was a coked up young legislator wearing blackface to daddy's parties. Oh, those fun-loving Kennedy boys — such a hoot! [R&M]
• For its list of the best bars in America, Esquire lists New York's 21, Julius, and Bill's Gay 90s. Shockingly, Nevada Smith's did not make the final cut. [Page Six]

• Will Katie go to CBS? We continue to not really have any idea. [USAT]
• What did Bonnie Fuller learn from getting fired from Conde Nast? "Blatant disloyalty is never the smart course of action." Who knew? [NYT]
• Kurt Andersen thinks — hopes! — that the celebrity moment might finally be over. [NYM]
• Elizabeth Spiers is starting a blog about Wall Street. Also, she used to work here. [IWantMedia]
• Esquire has a funny spoof in its new issue written by — who else? — a Foer brother, in this case champion memorizer Joshua. [WP]
• Simon Dumenco isn't sure newspapers will survive, and he can't believe it took the Times until now to get rid of the printed stock tables. [Ad Age]
• Jim Surowiecki thinks newspapers will survive, and he can't believe it took them until now to get rid of printed stock tables. [NYer]
• WWD media reporter Jeff Bercovici breakfasts on spelt toast with almond butter and a home-brewed cappuccino. [Jossip]
• Syd Schanberg quit his job as the Village Voice's Press Clips columnist just after the New Times deal closed, feeling that the company was no longer interested in media criticism. Friday he won an award for his Voice media criticism. [VV]

From the February issue of Esquire, the Burger King ad campaign hits unprecedented levels of ubiquity.

• We know that it's not the art department's job to know much about politics, but someone should really help the poor fucks at Esquire brush up on the differences between Senator Joe McCarthy and Senator Gene McCarthy. [Off-Topic]
• Former Women's Wear Daily reporter and sexual assault suspect Peter Braunstein was spotted in Memphis two weeks ago. This is all we get after six years of no news on the matter? [Jossip]
• Bloomberg's Transit Strike Contingency Plan: "Commuters encountering MTA workers are asked to throw ROCKS, STONES and PEBBLES." [Cracked]
• You know why we mock hipsters? Because they're probably the ones buying stirrup pants from Urban Outfitters. [JJB]
• We also mock hipsters because they search for personal assistants who are familiar with MisShapes and wear "drainpipe/skinny jeans." This is why they invented suicide watches. [Craigslist]
• Britney Spears tops the Yahoo! Buzz Index as the most searched for term on the internet. Never underestimate the public interest in acne and trailer trash. [Reuters]

• Is Judy Miller now a right-wing hero? Wait, what was she before the war, then? [NYM]
• Andrew Sullivan to move his blog to Time.com. Sellout! MSM! All those other things we're supposed to say! Yada yada yada. [NYP]
• Bob Schieffer to stay longer as CBS Evening News anchor. [NYT]
• Times to launch quarterly sports mag. [NYP]
• Esquire likes undulating apartments. [NYT]
• Google considers offering book rentals, sort of. [Reuters via Yahoo]
• Ruth Reichl reads The Bruni Digest. Bruni doesn't. Or so he says. [AP via Yahoo]

• Parents Television Council names list of best and worst shows for "families"; Gawker names PTC to list of worst bullshit "family values" advocacy groups. [NYDN]
• Judy Miller testifies before Congress in favor of shield law, several months too late. [NYT]
• Esquire-food-critic-gate continues: The Houston visitor's bureau paid to fly him down to sample four eateries, which comped his meals. Because, you know, Hearst doesn't have much cash to throw around. [Houston Press, second item]
• Dow Jones had a bad quarter, too — but still not as bad as the Times did. [WSJ]
• This just in: Elizabeth Spiers sells book, to leave Mediabistro. [FishbowlNY]

The American Society of Magazine Editors, confabbing for a few days in Puerto Rico — because it's really difficult, of course, to talk about magazines in New York, what with being so far from the beach and all — yesterday announced the 40 greatest magazine covers of the last 40 years, as voted on by 52 top editors.

• Now could someone please make Judy Miller stop testifying? [E&P]
• And maybe make her write something for her newspaper about what's going on? [NYO]
• Anderson Cooper book is officially sold; Harper will pay $1M for a memoir to "deal with the last year of [Cooper's] life as a journalist and human being in Sri Lanka, Africa, Iraq and Louisiana/Mississippi." Naturally, we can't wait to read about Coop's life as a human being. [Book Standard]
• Erstwhile New Yorker (and presumed ongoing porn aficionado) Joel Stein nabs op-ed column in L.A. Times. [L.A. Observed]
• At Harvard, Kennedys and friends, remember John-John and George. [NYDN]
• Breaking news from Public Eye! Local news gives viewers what they want; so does network news, to a much lesser degree. [Public Eye]
• Esquire food critic may have sent a Chicago restaurant a four-page list of demands before he'd deign to eat there. Or maybe he didn't. [CS-T]
• AOL survey says half of all bloggers consider it a form of therapy. Which we're thrilled to hear, as we gave up the shrink when we took this insurance-free gig. [WP]

• Have we mentioned lately that we are just plain creeped out by Dov Charney? That's not news to anyone, of course, but we just are. Alex Blagg doesn't care for him either, for different reasons. [BlaggBlogg]
• Katie Couric gets a mammogram — watch free. There would've been a screengrab posted earlier, but the segment destroyed our television. [Today Show]
• The timing of these subway warnings was a liiiitle suspicious, if you ask CBS' "Public Eye," and then they ask someone else. [PublicEye]
• Our brother who won't admit he has a problem says the odds are 4/1 that Mayor Mike will keep it real in the face of terror. [Oddjack]
• Yes, we know Esquire named Jessica Biel the sexiest woman alive. What you may not know is that Esquire is published in the universe where Angelina Jolie tragically died at the hands of Jennifer Aniston over the summer. [CNN]
• Some New Yorkers didn't get the memo: BE MORE SCARED. [Alicublog]