• A "bone-thin" Elin Nordegren moved a big bunch of belongings out of the Florida mansion she shares (shared?) with Tiger Woods yesterday; she's supposedly headed "somewhere warm" for Christmas. As for Tiger, it seems he's going to spend Christmas with "the boys." Maybe Rachel Uchitel will stop by for a visit? According to tabloid reports, Tiger is still in contact with Mistress No. 1, and is hoping to squeeze a little time to get together. [NYP, NYDN, People, Us]
• Lindsay Lohan may have to put off any more trips to rescue exploited children living in Third World countries. A judge has ordered her to start attending her alcohol education program classes "every single week" because, well, "it's been long enough." [Us]
• Why did Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson break up? According to a highly dubious story that one of the slugger's pals has been telling the tabloids, it was because Hudson wanted to be on camera when she sat in the stands at Yankee Stadium, whereas A-Rod really wanted someone "more interested in building a long-term relationship than just building their profile." [Us]
• As for Hudson, she's dealing with the split from A-Rod by spending some quality time with her movie star parents, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Goldie turned up as Kate's date to the Nine premiere last night. [HL, DM]

Elin eyes an alternate source of revenue, A-Rod dumped K-Hud for being a famewhore, Tiger paparazzi pics are at a premium, Courtney Love fights with Perez. Wednesday gossip may look like a gun, but it is really a telescope.

• Closures: Design magazine I.D. is shutting down. And while Editor & Publisher revealed last week it's folding, there's now a small chance it'll survive. [E&P]
• More bad news: The New Republic laid off some staff today. [Politico]
• Diane Sawyer's farewell to GMA last week and George Stephanopoulos's debut on Monday both did okay, but neither one topped Today. [NYO, NYT]
• More TV news: CNN's ratings continue to suck; Oprah's Obama special scored big ratings; and Oprah pal Nate Berkus is getting his own show, as rumored.
• Golf Digest says it has no regrets about its new Tiger Woods cover. Which is a tad convenient since it went to press before the scandal broke. [Us]
• Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko got snubbed by his bosses today. [DF]
• Paramount plans to start selling movie clips on the Web next week. [NYT]
• As for plans to create the "Hulu of magazines," it isn't going to be easy. [PC]
• The guy who stalked ESPN's Erin Andrews pleaded guilty today. [AP]
• Advertisers are totally loving Lady Gaga right now. Her "Bad Romance" video managed to squeeze in ten product placements in under five minutes. [LAT]
• Golden Globe noms were announced today. Just in case you missed it. [NYM]

The Illinois insurance executive accused of making peephole videos of ESPN's Erin Andrews is expected to plead guilty in court next week, according to the Associated Press.

• Is disgraced publicist Ali Wise the latest addition to the cast of Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show? Possibly! Wise apparently wants people to know "she's still out on the scene and doing fine" and taped an appearance at the opening of pal Stacey Bendet's new store last week. And she's expected to turn up in other episodes of the show. Let's just hope that Wise—who allegedly stalked women her ex dated—and the Tinz don't clash over any German princes or former American Idol contestants, or things could get ugly. [NYDN]
• In case you were worried that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were going through a rough patch, you can stop stressing. They celebrated her birthday at a club in the meatpacking district over the weekend and reportedly "looked very much in love all night." [P6]
• Penelope Cruise still hasn't confirmed whether or not she's engaged to Javier Bardem, but she's been shopping for a wedding dress recently, at least according to In Touch magazine's "sources." [In Touch via NYDN]
• Agyness Deyn's super-short hair is her signature, but it has its downsides, too, it seems. A woman propositioned the Brit model at a party the other night. Deyn "politely turned her down." [P6]

Are Jennifer and Brad going to reconcile? Will Nancy Grace eat Jon Gosselin's face? Can Levi Johnston get in shape for Playgirl? And why do women find Jeremy Piven attractive? Welcome, inquisitive reader, to your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

• The Letterman mess rolls on. The Late Show host issued another apology on his show last night, describing how the scandal has impacted his wife, Regina Lasko ("She's been horribly hurt by my behavior"), and kindly pointing out that he's not having sex with any of his current staffers. Meanwhile, Stephanie Birkitt, the woman at the center of the "scandal," supposedly wrote in her diary that she was dating alleged extortionist Robert "Joe" Halderman and sleeping with Letterman as recently as last fall, leading Halderman to flip out when he read her diary in December. [NYP, NYDN]
• So are Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem engaged? While Cruz's rep went with "no comment," Bardem's flack said, "I really don't know, but would not be able to say anything even if I did." That sounds like a "yes" to us! [People]
• Celebrity chef Todd English skipped out of his wedding at the last minute this past weekend. His jilted bride went ahead with the party anyway, while English headed to South Beach to hit the bars and clubs. Classy. [P6]
• Heidi Klum has filed documents to change her name to "Heidi Samuel," since that's Seal's last name. Please update your address book accordingly. [TMZ]

• Lindsay Lohan's first collection as Emmanuel Ungaro's "creative director" was unveiled at Paris Fashion Week yesterday. And let's just say the reviews weren't overwhelmingly positive. Described as "cheesy," "dated," and "truly hideous," more than a few critics suggested she get back to acting. And the show ended with Lohan in tears, which probably isn't the most auspicious sign. [MSNBC, WWD, WSJ, Daily Mail]
• Chris Noth is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Tara Wilson. [People]
• In other relationship news, rumor has it Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are planning to get married, too. [NYDN]
• The David Letterman sex-with-staffers scandal was the butt of plenty of jokes on The Jay Leno Show, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, and this weekend's SNL, not surprisingly. (Seth Meyers called Robert "Joe" Halderman's alleged $2 million extortion attempt a "stupid human trick.") Meanwhile, a second woman, Holly Hester, was identified as another one of the late night host's hook-ups and the tabloids reported Letterman keeps a "bachelor pad atop the Ed Sullivan Theater," although it might just be an office with a fold-out couch. [Us, NYDN, TMZ]

Erin Andrews offers thanks. Chris Noth's off the market. Kandi Burruss released a statement on AJ's death. And Don Imus remains an optimist. Good morning! It's your Monday morning gossip roundup!

Kristen Stewart thinks she's boring now sans social life. Oh, honey. Lady Gaga wants Kanye to respect the cock(y decision she made to leave their tour). Jon Gosselin: still a cock. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

• Confirming the rumors from a few weeks back, Fox Business says it will begin simulcasting Don Imus' radio show beginning next month. [LAT]
• The total number of advertisers that have decided to yank their ads from Glenn Beck's Fox News show, according to ColorofChange: 57. [NYDN]
• More on the transition at ABC News: Charles Gibson's decision to retire took ABC execs by surprise; an effort to get him to change his mind didn't work; and it's still unclear who will replace Diane Sawyer at GMA. [NYT]
• Is YouTube going to be the new Netflix? The site is reportedly in talks with Hollywood studios about renting new release movies online. [WSJ]
• Two new women have been added to the cast of SNL. [AP]
• Erin Andrews returns to ESPN tonight for the first time since that whole hote room videotaping incident went down a few weeks back. [NYDN]
• OK!'s circulation is dropping. Naturally, things will get much better just as soon as Kim Kardashian takes up her new post at the magazine. [AdAge]

ESPN's Erin Andrews is on the road to recovery after being taped in the nude by a sicko perv, and then victimized again by the faux-outraged tabloids. But her upcoming return to television proves ESPN is run by sexxx pervs:

When ESPN reporter Erin Andrews was victimized by a peeping sex perv, the New York Post defended her by running the sexxxy perv pictures. ESPN then banned Post reporters from their channel. But the Post is not done sympathizing—sexxxily!

Leighton Meester acts obnoxiously in a fancy Hamptons restaurant, Bernie Madoff boned his secretaries, Shania Twain is an Idol judge, NeNe was a stripper, Erin Andrews gets dirty for GQ, Madonna turns 51, and Sean Penn's marriage is officially over.

• Remember how Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn said they were divorcing a few months ago, but then changed their minds and announced they were getting back together? Yea, well, they're divorcing again. [P6, People]
• ESPN's Erin Andrews, the reporter who was filmed in the nude without her consent a few weeks back, can be seen in a new set of "dirty" photos. This time it was intentional, though. [NYDN]
• Celine Dion and the man she calls her husband (but who we always confuse with her grandfather for some reason) are expecting their second child. [OK]
• Leighton Meester was shouting and carrying on with her friends at Philippe in East Hampton last weekend, much to the annoyance of other diners present like NBC chief Jeff Zucker and billionaire Steve Schwarzman. [P6]

• Jude Law's rep says that the actor recently found out that he's expecting a fourth child. The mom? She's "an unidentified former lover." Congrats? [EW, People]
• It was less than two weeks ago that Mischa Barton was put under psychiatric care after she going on a drug-fueled bender and suffering a breakdown. Now she's in NYC, putting in long hours playing a character with a drug problem. Maybe this isn't the best idea? [NYDN]

Megan Fox turns down the chance to be the next Bond girl, Amy Winehouse goes on trial for assaulting a charity ball dancer, Lily Allen has a new man, Simon Cowell turns 50, and Jessica Szohr and Ed Westwick split.

Yesterday we noticed that Fox News was hyping a Bill O'Reilly "investigation" into the naked Erin Andrews peephole video incident, prompting us to wonder, "Will the ole smut-merchant show the video on the air?" Well, of course he would, duh!

• Why did Janice Min leave Us? It was about money, reports WWD, which explains that given the economy, Jann Wenner wasn't prepared to offer her the $2 million a year she's been collecting. Min is denying it. [WWD, NYDN]
• Dan Rather’s $70 million lawsuit against CBS is back on track. [NYT, WSJ]
• McKinsey has been retained by Condé Nast to do the sort of "rethinking" and "realigning" that the consulting firm gets paid enormous sums to do. And while it isn't the first time McKinsey has been in the building—they were hired by Condé in 2001—this time employees are totally freaking out. [NYO]
• One title that is doing well: Food Network Magazine, apparently. [CNY]
• ESPN's Erin Andrews was secretly videotaped in the nude while staying at a hotel. Now an ESPN employee is said to have been behind it. [NYDN, AP]

Oh, how the American media wishes that some sex perv had never secretly recorded a nude video of shapely ESPN reporter Erin Andrews! Then the media would not have been forced to discuss this disgusting spectacle. And make photo galleries!