Elin eyes an alternate source of revenue, A-Rod dumped K-Hud for being a famewhore, Tiger paparazzi pics are at a premium, Courtney Love fights with Perez. Wednesday gossip may look like a gun, but it is really a telescope.

  • Tiger Woods has not been photographed since the car accident. First pap to snap him could get millions—especially if he's crying. [AP]
  • Speaking of Woods spin-off industries: Elin Nordegren is picking up where Tiger left off, endorsement-wise. Mrs. Tiger Woods is reportedly "very close" to signing a deal with Puma because she is "a good brand fit" for Puma's special new line of husband-beating equipment. [TMZ]
  • Kate Hudson's famewhoring was the downfall of her relationship with Alex Rodriguez. An A-Rod friend claims K-Hud "wanted more camera time each and every game. She would always want to be styled before games and she'd insist on front-row seats." Apparently this "was a turnoff" and "he broke up with her over a week ago." [Us]
  • Confirmed: Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal broke up, says professional mellow-harsher Gossip Cop. But who will police this claim: The break was "amicable and mutual." Oh, please. [GossipCop]
  • Is motherhood making Sarah Jessica depressed? "Every day is Groundhog Day basically," Mrs. Matthew Broderick said less than a day after she called motherhood "perfectly overwhelming." Two questions: (1.) Can you get post-partum from a surrogate birth? I'm leaning towards "yes," because it's the baby's presence that freaks you out, not the absence of belly, right? (2.) Are frazzled mom roles the future of Carrie Bradshaw's career? [People]
  • Tiger mistress #4.8613, porn star Holly Sampson, is in talks to star in Vivid Entertainment's inevitable Tiger Woods porn parody. But it turns out she had sex with him years before he married Elin, so does she even count? [Extra]
  • Did Courtney Love write a long, ridiculous immature Facebook note bitching out daughter Frances Bean, who successfully took her mom to court to get custody removed this week? Perez Hilton says yes, but he appears to be the only one who saw it—Love says he either made the note up or got it from a turncoat. Then, in a real Facebook note, she threatens: "im goi g after him tomorrow." Lawsuit or beatdown? With Courtney you can never tell. [Perez Hilton] [Facebook]
  • ESPN reporter Erin Andrews' peephole stalker is guilty, and Andrews wants him to get the maximum sentence. In a tearful courtroom statement, the sportscaster confessed to nightmares and stalker-induced social anxiety. "My career has been ripped apart... I am subjected to crude comments... I walk into stadiums, and fans say obscene things to me." This story is so bleak. Men are pigs. [NYDN]
  • Speaking of stalkers, Jennifer Garner's was arrested for violating a restraining order when he turned up at Ben-and-Jen progeny Violet Affleck's nursery school. Steven Burky has a blog called Satanic Panic, is a born-again Christian, and believes he was the victim of ritualistic satanic abuse. Just the kind of guy you'd want around kids. [NYDN]
  • Emily Blunt is sick of corsets. Fresh off filming The Young Victoria, she's already dreading "another corset role in The Wolfman." Unfortunately for Emily, she is cursed with the porcelain skin, fine features, and willowy figure that period movies always cast, for there were neither fat women nor large noses before the twenty-first century. [ShowBizSpy]
  • Celebrity baby alert! Vladimir Putin's "gorgeous 26-year-old rhythmic gymnastics champion" baby mama has birthed a boy, Dimitry, named for Russian president and renowned Putin sock puppet Dimitry Medvedev. Nothing like babies to remind you always of the greatest power grabs of your life. [P6]