election-2012
Ted Nugent Continues To Say Ridiculous Things, Continues To Be Treated Like A Person Who Matters
Neetzan Zimmerman · 04/18/12 06:20PMRomney Campaign Calls For Civility After Endorser Ted Nugent Kinda Sorta Threatens To Assassinate Obama, Again
Neetzan Zimmerman · 04/17/12 05:36PMRomney and Bibi: Middle East Policy By Two Best Buds Walkie-Talkiing After Bedtime
Mobutu Sese Seko · 04/17/12 02:38PMTwo Sundays ago, the New York Times ran an article about Mitt Romney and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. The two have known each other for about 35 years. They went through Boston Consulting Group's "boot camp" together. They "can almost speak in shorthand." They finish each other's sentences and once accidentally ate from opposite ends of the same long strand of spaghetti. Their lives are an endless geopolitical meet-cute: Romney wants to run the nuclear big-box store of the United States, but he has enough love in his heart that he'd never crush the beautiful Middle Eastern shop around the corner.
Mitt Romney Breaks Unlikability Records
Louis Peitzman · 04/16/12 10:27PMHow Sean Hannity Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Teleprompters
Joe Muto · 04/12/12 09:43AMWhat follows is a dispatch from Joe Muto, otherwise known as the Fox Mole. It was to be the third in a series of anonymous columns Muto was planning on writing for Gawker from inside Fox News. After being discovered yesterday evening, Muto was fired by Fox effective today. Soon he will write a fuller accounting of his time at Fox and why he chose to leave in the way that he did.
Rick Santorum Drops Out of Race
Emma Carmichael · 04/10/12 01:19PMThe Washington Post reports that Rick Santorum has officially suspended his presidential campaign, which essentially concedes the GOP nomination to wealthy talking hairpiece Mitt Romney. Santorum lost to Romney in Wisconsin, Maryland, and D.C. over the past three weeks, and his campaign (as well as Romney's approach to his most formidable opponent) has shifted in recent weeks in the wake of his three-year-old daughter's illness.
Newt Gingrich Concedes Defeat Without Actually Dropping Out
Louis Peitzman · 04/08/12 02:09PMReminder: Newt Gingrich Is Still Running for President
Louis Peitzman · 04/07/12 10:52AMNow that Mitt Romney has basically sealed the Republican nomination, you'd think the other candidates might concede defeat and offer their support. And indeed, Newt Gingrich is open about the fact that he's not going to be the Republican candidate — but that doesn't mean he's going to stop campaigning.
Ann Romney On Mitt's Stiffy: 'We better unzip him and let him out!'
Leah Beckmann · 04/02/12 11:29AMIs Rick Perry a Creepy Pee-er, or Just High on Pills?
Max Read · 04/02/12 10:42AMGovernor Rick Perry is a moron, by almost any account. But a far more dangerous personal affliction may have doomed him from the start: an inability to pee without singing folk songs. An exclusive excerpt from Politico's upcoming e-book Inside the Circus reveals a devastating bathroom anecdote that could capsize Perry's political career:
Legitimate News Source Ditches Credibility for April Fool's Fun
Louis Peitzman · 04/01/12 11:07AMFor a brief moment, Google News' top story was "Romney Drops Out of Race, Endorses Santorum." This is decidedly untrue — but hey, it was published by Forbes, so it must be worth something, right? Nowhere did it say this was a prank: although it should be obvious to most, we live in a country where actual people believe Onion headlines. And it's not as though this is that much more ridiculous than the Republican primary has been thus far.
Rick Santorum: And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going
Louis Peitzman · 04/01/12 08:56AMIs Mitt Romney the Republican presidential nominee yet? Well, not quite. Appearing on NBC's Meet the Press, Rick Santorum acknowledged that the Wisconsin primary will send a "strong signal" as to where the campaign is headed. Even so, a Santorum loss will not be enough for him to drop out — not when we're all having so much fun.
Matt Doheny, Engaged 'Party-Hearty' GOP Challenger, Caught Getting Handsy With Two Ladies (Update)
Maureen O'Connor · 03/30/12 10:46AMDid Rick Santorum Almost Call Barack Obama the N-Word?
Max Read · 03/30/12 07:14AMMatt Doheny, 'Strongest GOP Challenger in Country,' Sucks Face with Campaign Consultant Who Is Not His Fiancée (UPDATE)
Maureen O'Connor · 03/28/12 06:48PMSecret Video: Newt Gingrich's Creepy Wife Grooming Him Like a Circus Walrus
John Cook · 03/28/12 10:45AMAs John Edwards learned the hard way, the camera is always on. It was certainly on in the bowels of Fox News' dark tower last November as failed presidential candidate Newt Gingrich's icy wife-bot Callista prepared him for an interview with Bill O'Reilly. She brushed him like a horse, sprayed him like Cher, and locked down his hair with dead-eyed precision. Then O'Reilly said he looked like Justin Bieber. Burn.
Freedom Isn't Free, And Neither Is Taking a Photo With Newt Gingrich
Louis Peitzman · 03/26/12 11:24PMHerman Cain Executes Adorable Rabbit to Make a Point About the Economy
Emma Carmichael · 03/26/12 09:31AMApologies if you've just barely digested your breakfast, but the economy is dying, you unfeeling bastard, and a murdered bunny* is the only way to truly understand it.
Let Rick Santorum Try to Scare the Shit Out of You
Louis Peitzman · 03/25/12 11:42AM
For those who haven't seen it, here's Rick Santorum's spooky "Obamaville" spot. Alas, this is just a political ad and not a trailer for a controversial horror film — but hey, maybe with enough funding we'll get the feature-length version. Be sure to look out for the split-second shot of Ahmadinejad's face becoming Obama's. If you dare.