People in the UK got upset over this ad, because of drugs. Hold on there: it's an anti-drug ad, allegedly. The lesson is, ad people love to work while high. [via Adrants. Click to enlarge]

While America's new president is totally cool with you smoking weed, other countries are not so lucky. Did you know Japan is like a dark ages bizarro world that is shocked by ganja? It's true!

A poll conducted by the by the National Sleep Foundation finds nearly a third of all Americans are losing sleep because they're worried about the economy. "Money fears far outweigh other problems—such as the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, global warming or a terror attack—when it comes to staying awake at night." [NYP]

Barack Obama is widely expected to appoint as drug czar Gil Kerlikowske, who as Seattle police chief focused on intervention and treatment over arrests for drug possession.

We don't want to over-excite anyone out there on the West Coast who may currently be engaged in wake-and-bake, but marijuana is now, for all practical purposes, legal in 13 states. Thanks to Obama!

Heroic bong-fighting Sheriff Leon Lott, who made Richland County, South Carolina safe from Olympic champion Michael Phelps and his criminal associates, had a little fun down at the ol' Rotary Club yesterday!

Martha Stewart's show today was all about pot! Pot pot pot! Jimmy Fallon was there, and he talked about pot! But right in the middle of the winky-drug jokes GOD INTERVENED.

Remember that scene in The Wrestler where Mickey Rourke's character buys steroids from that big muscly guy? Well that guy, named Scott Siegel, has just been arrested. For selling steroids. You know, in real life.

Need some positive news about the global economy today? Happy to help. It seems the price of cocaine in Europe is falling fast "as smugglers use new routes through West Africa and the Balkans," according to the United Nations. Have a safe flight! [BBC via DBTH]

Hero South Carolina Sheriff Leon Lott got nearly an ounce of weed off the streets when he arrested eight kids who may have seen Michael Phelps hit a bong. And where's the gratitude? Nowhere!

His disastrous Letterman interview brought Joaquin Phoenix's whole quitting-acting-to-become-a-bearded-rapper shtick to a dizzying climax last night. Dave played it off as legit. Others think it's all an Andy Kaufman-esque hoax. We think it's both!

Those eight arrests that a heroic South Carolina Sheriff's department pulled off in connection with the Michael Phelps bong photo? They netted less than an ounce of marijuana. Streets: safe. [ABC. Pic: Star]

Hah, it's funny because stoners get high, right? NORML sent out this outraged petition on behalf of hero swimmer Michael Phelps.

Yea, they thought it was so cool to hang out and take bong hits with Olympic champ Michael Phelps. Until the freaking sheriff started arresting everybody for it. Thanks a lot, Phelps.

So it turns out that various "natural" weight-loss supplements may actually contain real drugs, but you'll have to hurry to get your hands on them before the FDA sniffs out all the products that don't disclose their exciting illicit ingredients. Following a class action lawsuit against StarCaps by NFL players who tested positive for the drug bumetanide, the pills—which are sold by surgerized socialite Nikki Haskell with the tagline "Dare to be thin!" and endorsed by her friends like Ivana Trump—have been pulled from the shelves of stores like GNC, and the FDA is continuing to test other diet supplements.

Who took that photo of dolphin-boy Michael Phelps hitting a bong? Who cares? It's no worse than that photo of you in college, licking liquid acid off a naked mule. But the media is investigating!

Kellogg dumped merman Michael Phelps after finding out he smokes weed, even though everyone knows Frosted Flakes are so good, toasted. Now it looks like Subway—also great toasted!—is making the same mistake. [Update: Subway statement.]

So far, so good: Speedo and watchmaker Omega said they're keeping endorsement deals with Michael Phelps, despite pictures of the champion swimmer smoking pot. But he must pretend to quit weed forever.

Ye gods, that much "bounty" could power the New York Media for a month! (Sadly—we checked—the story's not by our friend Chuck Blow.)

Oh no, Michael Phelps and the demon weed marijuana! He's going to lose all his endorsements and his motivation, besides! Relax, people. This can all work out to the advantage of his nerd-ass reputation.