Stoners to Boycott Kellogg's, Until They Get High and Forget
Hah, it's funny because stoners get high, right? NORML sent out this outraged petition on behalf of hero swimmer Michael Phelps.
(The petition seems to be from last week, but wouldn't you know, the kids didn't actually get around to emailing it out until today.)
NORML's protest will surely have devastating effects on the cereal business, at least once the chips run out. "Tell them that you oppose their decision to drop Michael Phelps," NORML instrusts, "and that, as a result of their actions, you will not be purchasing any Kellogg's related products for the next three months (or until the company decides to reinstate the Phelps as their spokesperson)." Three months! That'll teach 'em.
Here is what they recommend you send to the Kellogg's corporation:
"Hi, my name is _____________ and I'm a frequent consumer of Kellogg's products.
Nearly one out of two Americans has used marijuana. This includes tens of thousands of prominent, highly successful Americans - including our current President. Michael Phelps should not be stigmatized nor condemned for private behavior that he, and millions of others, engage in.
The majority of the public, as well as those in the media, are standing behind Michael Phelps and so am I. I will no longer be purchasing Kellogg's brand products until your company reverses its decision and reinstates Michael Phelps as your spokesperson."
Just make sure to sign your missive "Dave" so Kellogg's can write back "Dave's not here, man."