Dear Mr. Donald J. Trump, Sr.,

Imagine for a second, if you can: Donald Trump mixing up history and lying about stuff. Yes, the man who claims he saw thousands of Arab-Americans celebrating 9/11 in New Jersey also has an addled memory of Civil War history, according to a report from The New York Times.

On Monday, Donald Trump claimed to have watched people jump to their deaths from the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001: “Many people jumped and I witnessed it, I watched that. I have a view—a view in my apartment that was specifically aimed at the World Trade Center.”

The above is Donald Trump’s reaction to the backlash after he tweeted out a race-baiting image that featured a mess of wildly erroneous stats on race and crime.

Donald Trump is doubling down on his false 9/11 claims, carefully citing a source who says he’s totally wrong.

On two separate occasions this weekend, increasingly less-crypto crypto-fascist Donald Trump made reference to a video of thousands of Arab-Americans in Jersey City, New Jersey cheering as the Twin Towers fell on 9/11. Thus far, absolutely no one has been able to verify this claim, most likely because the video never actually existed in the first place. But on the infinitesimally small chance it is out there and you’ve got it—we want to see it and we’re willing to pay.

Today in film, we offer you a strong and classy bit of cinema from a strong and classy American.

Donald Trump, a man known for accusing Megyn Kelly of having her period, cherishes women—oh yes. But did you know he cherishes men, too?

This weekend Donald Trump described personally witnessing “thousands and thousands” of people in New Jersey cheering as the towers came down on 9/11. Cue New Jersey governor Chris Christie, who is not going to stand for that, unless it helps him with voters—does anyone know if it will help him with voters?

Twice this weekend, Donald Trump claimed to have watched as, immediately following the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001, thousands of Arabs and Arab-Americans across the Hudson River, in Jersey City, New Jersey, cheered as the Twin Towers collapsed.

Perpetual embarrassment Donald Trump can look almost thoughtful next to his rock-solid, occasionally violent base of racist voters. Except, of course, when he doesn’t. Like this afternoon, for instance, when Donald Trump tweeted out a patently false, race-baiting image just one day after his supporters tried to beat the shit out of a Black Lives Matter protestor.

Donald Trump’s waterfall of regurgitated chatter continued on Sunday, with quips about Muslim databases, 9/11, and bringing back water-boarding. And over all of it, he also suggested that he would run for president as independent if he doesn’t get the Republican nod.

A black protester who tried to interrupt a speech by Donald Trump at a rally in Birmingham, Alabama was set upon by the candidate’s supporters.

In an interview with Megyn Kelly last night, Marco Rubio—who was ostensibly trying to shut down Trump’s call for a Fourth Reich—instead declared that, if we truly want to be safe, America needs to shut down pretty much everything.

On Thursday, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump helpfully clarified his position on establishing a mandatory database to track Muslims in the United States: He’s all for it. Never heard a better idea. Can’t believe he didn’t think of it sooner. When can we start?

In a move that will only further endear him to his base of angwy widdle babies, Donald Trump said recently that he wouldn’t rule out the idea of issuing special IDs or maintaining a national database of Muslims if elected president. Baby likey!

Today, your future president Donald Trump doubled down on his assertion that the Paris terror attacks could have been stopped by armed civilians, telling Boston-area radio host Jeff Kuhner the following (via Buzzfeed):

What if I told you that you could lose 15 lbs. in five months with no calorie-counting, treadmills, or embarrassing weigh-ins? You can even eat snacks. All you have to do is work yourself into blindly racist huff one-to-three times per day, and you will see results. Just ask Donald Trump!

Last night, Miss Cleo cosplay enthusiast Donald Trump told a crowd of supporters in Tennessee that he was able to predict terrorism in his 2000 book, The America We Deserve, because he “can feel it.”

Last night, a fever dream-addled Donald Trump performed free association, spoken word poetry to the unsuspecting people of Iowa under the guise of a stump speech. Trump clearly hasn’t slept in days, he’s repeating staple phrases though ever so slightly off, and he calls everyone cheering for him an idiot. It is, perhaps, the single most perfect example of American rhetoric ever.